Dear Denise,
My 81-year-old mother-in-law was diagnosed with Dementia about 5 years ago and diabetes a few months ago. She lived in an apt for about 3 years. The last 2 ½ years she has lived in an apt that we built in our backyard. She is spouse of a veteran so receives survivor benefits and social security. Total amount of income is approx $1,450.00 per month.
My mother-in-law is getting to the stage where one of us might have to quit our job to be a full time care-giver so that she can stay in her own home for as long as possible.
To add to all of that we also have my 83-year-old father living with us. He is also a veteran. He is diabetic and goes to dialysis 3 times a week. Right now he is able to drive himself. We are not sure though, how long he will be able to do that. His health is failing, his mind is failing somewhat but, at least can carry on conversations and is aware of all his surroundings etc. His income is more than most seniors so would not qualify for Medicaid of most programs that might be available.
If my husband and/or I need to quit our jobs to be with our parents full time is there any kind of financial assistance available to us? Losing even one of our incomes would put a huge burden on us. We thought that maybe his mother would pay my husband….however, after her monthly expenses there wouldn’t be much left to pay him.
I have heard from other people that they are being compensated for the loss of income they have because they are taking care of an elderly parent. Right now we both work at the same company and have at least an hour commute each way. We leave home at 5 am and do not return until almost 6 pm. If there are doctors appts etc we have to take time off work. We have been lucky for the most part in having some flexibility with our employer.
Any help, suggestions or directions you might have would be greatly appreciated.
Hello,
Thanks so much for writing. I’ll do my best to point you in the right direction.
You’re in a tough spot: How do you provide for family members who need your help without sacrificing your own security?
Our Caregiving or Your Career? section of articles may help.
As for receiving reimbursement, you can check in your community to see what’s available to help. Programs differ from community to community. Some communities have programs that pay family caregivers, but many take into account a care recipient’s Medicaid eligibility (i.e., a care recipient must have income lower than a specific amount). You can see what’s available in your community by calling the ElderCare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 for a referral to your local Area Agency on Aging. You also can search for help at www.benefitscheckup.org.
You also can check with Veterans’ Affairs to see what benefits may be available. Perhaps both may be eligible for benefits the pay for in-home assistance provided by a home care agency.
Does your company have an Employee Assistance Program? If it does, you can check on any programs/services to help. You also can check about Family Medical Leave, which may be an option for one of you for a short-period of time (although you wouldn’t receive a salary).
You may find that the right solution is a combination of solutions. Your husband may take a short-term leave through FMLA to set up care (finding and hire home care workers) in the home and then returns to work after arrangements have been made.
You may consider hiring a geriatric care manager who can help organize in-home care; this may be wise investment if it allows both of you to continue working. You can learn about geriatric assessments and the role of care managers here: http://www.helpguide.org/elder/geriatric_assessment.htm.
Let me know what happens.
