You’re burnt–there’s no other way to say it. Unfortunately, others count on you, so your bad day has to have an end point–and soon.
Recovering from the down days of caregiving can be tough. You need a First Aid kit, complete with BandAids and soothing words.
To help you create your First Aid kit, complete the following exercises. You’ll have the BandAids and soothing words to help you bounce back the next time you feel blue.
1. Write down one step you’ll take that will help you feel better. One step may be: You’ll take a 15-minute nap after dinner. Or, you’ll make a phone call tomorrow to the Area Agency on Aging to find help. Or, you’ll take up your friend’s offer to spell you on a Saturday afternoon.
2. Write down an affirmation that reflect who or how you area. Your affirmation may be:
I choose to believe my life is perfectly imperfect. Is imperfections offer me opportunities to grow and learn.
I have the help I need when I need it.
I deserve help and support and so I embrace and welcome the help and support I have.
I am surrounded by love, which I feel every day. In return, I am loving in all my relationships.
I communicate with my family using kind, direct and honest words. I receive communication with an objective heart.
I live with joy and keep my heart open for all of life’s possibilities.
I welcome forgiveness in my relationships. I forgive knowing that forgiveness is the gift I give myself.
I have talents and gifts that the world appreciates and needs. Because of this, I take care of these talents and gifts.
I am grateful for my life. My gratitude creates blessings that comfort and support me.
I feel peace about my life and my life’s choices. This peace frees me to be my authentic self.
3. Write down an affirmation of the gift you receive because of your caregiving role. If this stumps you, consider: What one positive change has occurred in you, or your life, because of your caregiving role? A positive change may be that, because of your limited time, you’ve weeded through your garden of friends, eliminating the thorns (how freeing is that!). Or, you’ve tapped into strengths in ways you never thought possible. Or, you’ve gained an insight about your care recipient that’s created a new-found compassion. That’s your gift!
4. Write down a dream you have for your future.
5. Create a survival plan you can refer to when you’re out of ideas. Your survival plan may include phone numbers to help or support group members, solutions that have worked in the past, reminders to rest, affirmations. (See Create Your Contingency Plan.)
6. Refer to your caregiving mission statement, which reminds you of your purpose.
7. Write down your boundaries so you can refer to them during difficult times. Your boundaries include drawing the line on inappropriate comments, taking a stand for your needs, and expecting respect from everyone in your life.
8. Create your own private paradise in your room. Whether it be a spare bedroom or a corner in the basement, make your own get-away, complete with your favorite things (books, chocolate, candles, scrapbook, journal, music). When the going gets rough in the rest of the house, you can take a breather by yourself.
9. Develop the words you want to use during difficult discussions. The words could be, “I can see that we both are losing our cool. Let’s start up this discussion tomorrow when we have clearer heads.” Or, “I understand your point. I have a different perspective. Let me explain why.” Or, “My feelings get hurt when you speak to me that way.” Or, “I’m having a bad day today and need a few moments to myself.”
10. Have meditation exercises available to help you relax and gain control.
You are very special, with wonderful gifts that you share with your family, friends—the world.
Protect these special gifts: Take care of yourself!
