Your care recipient is diagnosed with a chronic illness (or, chances are, illnesses). But, now it seems that you’ve become afflicted. You don’t have the diagnosis but you have all the symptoms–you find it difficult to leave the house, you only like pureed food, and you mentally take note of your bathroom business.
Uh, oh. You’ve became a side effect of your care recipient’s chronic illness or disease.
How could it not happen? When you’re not providing care, you’re worrying. And, when you’re not worrying, you’re engaged in battles–with the health care system, other family members, your care recipient, yourself. If you’re not dispensing medications, you’re wringing your hands. And, when you’re not changing soiled sheets, you’re on the phone, over and over and over.
A chronic illness or disability has control–how do you take back some of it?
–Keep your sense of humor. A good laugh releases tension, it relaxes. You’ll think clearer and make better decisions.
–Embrace a support system. You may want to run, as fast as you can, from all of this. You can’t tell your care recipient, you can’t tell some family members, but, if you don’t talk about it, then you really will run. A support system (a community support group, an online support group, a good friend) will understand all your emotions and will provide a safe place for you to vent.
–Delight in diversions. Rent movies, read good books, indulge in magazine subscriptions. Regular diversions help you stay centered so you won’t take a tumble.
–Create your own Paradise of Privacy. Whether it be a spare bedroom or a corner in the basement, make your own get-away, complete with your favorite things (books, chocolate, candles, scrapbook, journal, music). When the going gets rough in the rest of the house, you can take a breather by yourself.
–Muscle away your frustrations. Water aerobics at the club or tai chi in your rec room: Exercise helps you release tension and stay in shape. Whether you walk, run or ride your bike, activity will help you feel good–emotionally and physically.
–Connect with your spirituality. Nurture your belief system and practice it when you can. Your belief system will reinforce the importance and value of your caregiving role.
–Lend an ear to other family caregivers. You have invaluable insights and wisdom; share them with others. You’ll realize how high you’ve climbed.
–Take the leap of faith, throw caution to the wind, take a risk. What have you got to lose?
–Fan the fires of your passion—whoever or whatever it may be. It could be your garden, your yoga, your golf game, your spouse. Some days, you’ll have more time to fan the flame—that’s okay. Just don’t let the fire go out.
–Realize a dream. You have the wisdom, experience and courage to make your dreams come true. Today’s a great day to take that first step toward making your dreams your life.
