I’m Released!

Google has released me. Hurray! Thanks, everyone, for your patience during the last week. We’re back!!

Google, Please Release Me

So, I got hacked last week. Or, as a friend would say, I was the victim of a script injection. They didn’t steal my wallet, but it was like getting mugged. The hack took place on Wednesday; by Wednesday night, I had cleaned all the infected files. But, my problems were only beginning. Google and StopBadWare.org want to protect us from the individuals who hijack sites, like mine, for their own greed. I think...

Fight

In many ways, you’re in the fight of your life. Almost every day, you’re picking up the sword to fight battles with health care organizations, insurance companies, health care professionals and, sometimes, family members and even your care recipient. The fights can come fast and furious. How do you stay fit? Your health is critical. Take care of yourself, make your own health a top priority. Eat right,...

10 Ways to Resolve Conflict

Carolyn and her husband, Frank, are having a normal day, which means that they are both so mad at each other that they’ve spent the day in silence. Carolyn became so mad at Frank earlier in the day that as soon as he turned his back, Carolyn stuck her tongue out at him. In the moment, it felt great. She stuck her tongue out for a long time, even wiggling her hips (okay, her backside) to get a little bit of motion...

You’re Getting Paid! Great… Now, Get It Right

Your reimbursement for the care you provide could come from any number of sources–a long-term care insurance policy, a community program, your care recipient, even other family members. The devil really is in the details with this situation, isn’t it? It’s wonderful you can be compensated for providing care; it’s a luxury, really, that many family caregivers can’t enjoy. But, the...

Hope

Denise said to me that even though my husband has a medically uncurable neurological disease, I have hope.  Indeed I do.  I have an eternal hope that is not like a “maybe” type hope.  It is not a hope like “I hope I get this for Christmas, or I hope it is sunny today.”  My hope is a certainty of things some of which has not yet trasnspired. It is a certainty that my Lord will always be...

Captive

What holds your heart captive? –Is it guilt? Guilt over decisions? Guilt for putting yourself first when you can? –Is it resentment? Resentment that some family members won’t help? Or, resentment because you worry that your life is wasted? –Is it fear? Fear that you won’t know? Fear that you can’t do? –Is it false hope? False hope that others will change? False hope that...

Keeping Caregiving Safe

A few years ago, family caregivers in our support groups began addressing the “What if?” question: What if I’m sick? Who will take care of my care recipient? What if I need to help my daughter and her new baby? Who will take care of my care recipient? What if I need to go back to work? Who will take care of my care recipient? Now is a best time to create your contingency plan, which has the...

My Caree Won’t Cooperate

You’ve finally decided the time has come: You need help in your caregiving role; you’d like to hire a home health aide to help with your caree’s personal care. With your job, your kids, your spouse and your other commitments, you’ve discovered it’s just impossible to do it all yourself. Amazingly, it’s a relief to come to this decision. Until you think about breaking the news to...

The Help Arrived, But Left Too Early

You hear this all the time: If someone offers to help, accept it! So, you do. A neighbor offers to help. He works in the home care industry and has volunteered to install those grab bars in the bathroom. You’ve been meaning to do this ever since your care recipient’s arrival home from the hospital but there just never seems to be enough time, energy or money to get it done. So, your neighbor offers,...

Document the Routine

You know the routine like the back of your hand (or maybe the inside of washing machine), but if you need help in an emergency, would your replacement know? Take time to document your caregiving routine. Consider: –The timing of care (ie.., baths, medications, treatments, personal care) –Your care recipient’s preferences (timing of meals, baths, snacks, naps, likes/dislikes) –Your proven...

Time Out! Signs You Need a Vacation

Home-bound for too long? We look at the Top 10 (plus one) Signs You Need a Vacation: 1. You set up your lounge chair—accessorized by a hand-held fan, reading material and water bottle—in your care recipient’s bedroom; 2. You form a line, just like they do at Disney World; 3. You become a tourist in your own home, asking for directions to the nearest bathroom; 4. You write postcards from your dining...

Quick Tips for Family Caregivers

Caring for an aging care recipient can be an overwhelming responsibility. Meeting the emotional and medical needs of a care recipient, plus having the time to devote to your own needs and interests, can be difficult. Here are some tips to help you cope. 1. Put your care recipient’s papers in order. –Financial. Find out where your care recipient keeps financial information, including investments, bank...

Help for Caregiving Spouses

The expense of nursing home care, which ranges from $4,000 to $6,000 a month or more, can rapidly deplete the lifetime savings of elderly couples. In 1988, Congress enacted provisions to prevent what has come to be called “spousal impoverishment,” which can leave the spouse who is still living at home in the community with little or no income or resources. These provisions help ensure that this...

Help During Discharge

To improve the working relationship between family caregivers and health care providers, the United Hospital Fund has launched the Next Step in Care website: www.nextstepincare.org.  The website offers a range of guides and checklists—most intended for family caregivers of persons with serious illness, with some specifically for health care providers—designed to make patients’ transitions between care...

Protecting Your Care Recipient’s Financial Security

You notice that your mom needs more help at home. You decide to look at home health care to help with your personal care and housekeeping. Your down-on-his-luck brother reappears, anxious to celebrate the holidays with his family and help care for your parents. “I want to get involved,” he says. “You can trust me now. I’d like to help manage the money and the decisions.” Before hiring home care or...

Help! I’m Toast!

You’re burnt–there’s no other way to say it. Unfortunately, others count on you, so your bad day has to have an end point–and soon. Recovering from the down days of caregiving can be tough. You need a First Aid kit, complete with BandAids and soothing words. To help you create your First Aid kit, complete the following exercises. You’ll have the BandAids and soothing words to help you...

Ten (Simple!) Ways to Help a Family Caregiver

Want to help a friend or relative who is a caregiver? We’ve put together a few ideas to help you get started: 1. Call the caregiver on a regular basis to find out how he or she is doing. Listen with an open heart–and a non-judgmental ear. You don’t have to solve the problems–just listening is the best help you can offer. 2. Volunteer to stay with the care recipient one evening or afternoon a...

Disaster Preparedness: Just in Case

My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer about 4 years ago. Because bladder cancer has a high rate of reoccurrence, he has regular three-month check-ups. Before each check-up, he says: “I’m hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst.” I guess that’s the best way to view a potential disaster: We hope it won’t happen, but we’ll be prepared, just in case. And, for family caregivers responsible for...

Contingency Plans: Who Will Step In If You Fall Out Of Step?

You become so used to handling it all, so much so that you can’t imagine not being there for your care recipient. But, there will be times when you can’t. You may have the flu, or be called out-of-town unexpectedly, or need to devote your time to another family crisis. Or, your home health aide, who you employ, is sick, but you need to be at work for an important meeting. Who will step in on your...

Is This Contagious?

Your care recipient is diagnosed with a chronic illness (or, chances are, illnesses). But, now it seems that you’ve become afflicted. You don’t have the diagnosis but you have all the symptoms–you find it difficult to leave the house, you only like pureed food, and you mentally take note of your bathroom business. Uh, oh. You’ve became a side effect of your care recipient’s chronic illness...

When Housebound, Make In-House Activities Work for You

It looks like a blizzard outside. Or, a flood. And, inside, well, you and your care recipient have been alternating between staring at the walls and staring at each other. Deep sighs are your only companions. Caregiving will make your world smaller; enter bad weather into the equation and your world seems as small as your living room. You’ve both bored, cranky and crabby. What to do? We’ve put some...