Care recipient: Aida, Linda’s mom, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease
Nominated by: Jeff, Linda’s husband; read the nominating letter.
In Linda’s words:
When I feel stressed, I: Take a deep breath.
My current challenge is: My mom’s bedsores.
When I have an extra five minutes, I: Read something, anything, that’s near by.
My mantra is: How lucky I am to have had my parents this long, how blessed. It’s my turn to take care of them because they took care of me. It’s just my turn.
Recommended reading: Designated Daughter: The Bonus Years with Mom by D.G. Fulford and Phyllis Greene
The legacy I would leave to another family caregiver is: Be open to Hospice because that was and is a lifesaver for me. My father was on Hospice his last three months and my mom has been on Hospice for 1 ½ years. The staff gives me tremendous support.
My 2009 goal is: Just to get through it. Hopefully, we’ll celebrate Mom’s 100th birthday on July 4th.
Because her son is away at college, Linda says she and her husband, Jeff, are empty-nesters. But from the sound of it, the nest still seems full. Linda starts her day with a visit to her mom, who resides in a local board-and-care home, then she’ll spend time volunteering for her temple or the local Alzheimer’s Association, then she’ll walk or enjoy yoga or a dance class. She’ll then work on her blog.
Linda started her blog, TenderLovingElderCare.com, in April 2008 as a way to help her friends who were beginning to care for their parents. Linda’s caregiving journey was already 10 years in the making, so she had plenty of information and support to share. “I love blogging, getting information out, connecting with people,” Linda says. “I really enjoy the interviews that I do with family caregivers. I like sharing other people’s stories.”
Her Internet presence has grown to a profile on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/TLeC), which she uses to meet other family caregivers and to communicate her knowledge. Future goals include giving speeches about caregiving and, perhaps, a book.
Linda’s caregiving began in 2000, when her parents were 94 and 91, and Linda’s mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Linda lived in California (as a child, Linda always said, “I’m moving to California.” As a young adult, she did); her parents in Florida. Her parents managed with Linda’s regular visits and constant phone calls–until the day her father decided they needed to be closer to her. “Dad decided overnight,” Linda says. “Something happened that scared him.”
Removing 2,500 miles between herself and her parents made life easier for everyone. “It was wonderful when they moved closer, I could help and I could give Dad a break,” Linda says.
Bowling until he was 96, her father died in his sleep at the age of 98 in 2005. “I didn’t expect him to go before her,” she says. “Looking back, I think, Wow, I should have concentrated on him. We were so focused on my mom.”
Her father’s death increased her responsibilities. “I know I needed to step into his role and care even more,” she says.
She’s an involved advocate on behalf of her mother. Currently, she’s working with the Hospice staff to heal her mother’s bed sores. She meets regularly with her mother’s nurse to discuss treatment options and progress. “I learn as much as I can so I can stay on top of her care,” Linda explains.
Linda’s caregiving is full of pictures, which she shares on her blog. Photography, woven with her words, is Linda’s tool to document what caregiving has come to mean for her. “There’s a lot of beauty that comes out of caregiving,” she says. “It’s bonus years with my parents. The joy you get back when you care… I see it from my mom in her eyes and her smiles.”
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Linda joins Denise for a special edition of Your Caregiving Journey, a weekly talk show, on Wednesday, Feb. 18 at 8 p.m. Central. Listen here.
CONGRATULATIONS! What a wonderful gift and heritage you are passing on, to and with your family!
Dear Kaye,
Thank you for your kind words. I follow you on Twitter, and I know you are also part of the sandwich generation! Hang in there.