Concentrate on communicating what you want–rather than worrying about the response you receive.
For instance, you’ve been caring for your father for several years. Initially, you and your spouse clearly communicated with each other about responsibilities, needs, goals. Then, the caregiving seemed to get in the way—and you worried that if you asked your spouse how he felt about all that you do, well, he would tell you exactly what you didn’t want to hear.
And, your spouse? Well, he decided that never asked, so you didn’t want to know so he never bothered to tell you how much he admires all that you do.
We all intend to communicate with the important family members and friends in our life. We really do. Sometimes, though, our fear of the reaction to our communication keeps us silent. We worry if we express how much we love someone, he or she will blow us off. Or, if we share how important our caregiving role is, we’ll hear how misdirected our actions are.
Unfortunately, we lose sight of what’s really important about communication: Expressing how we feel, what we want, how we hope. While a loving and supportive response would be great, it’s not really what’s important. Our effort—telling others what we love and what we want—is what’s most important. And, if others don’t appreciate our honest communication, then we know to move on to others who do.
And, telling what we want and who we love means we’ll have what we want and be surrounded by who we love.
Tags: communicate
