I remember the very first family caregiver I met in 1990: Her mother attended the senior nutrition site I managed, in a small town in New Jersey along the Delaware River. She worried about her mom alone all day, so encouraged her mom to attend our senior center and enjoy a hot lunch and quiet conversation (well, loud conversation; one senior, Hazel, often screamed to us that she had a “tin ear”). Each afternoon, after the center closed, the daughter called me to make sure her mother attended that day and was okay.
With each family caregiver I meet, I learn more about life, so much so I developed a list that reflects that knowledge. Here it is:
Lessons Learned from Family Caregivers: Ten (Plus One) Ways to Live a Great Life
1. Choose Health Care Providers Who Honor You
–Find physicians, specialists, social service agencies who hear and understand your voice.
–You know what’s best for you and your family.
2. Document Your Story
–An important legacy you leave to your family is your life’s story.
–Tell your story through photos, videos, recordings, diaries, recipes.
3. Share Your End-of-Life Care Wishes
–Tell physicians, family members, friends, lawyers, social service agencies how you want to spend your last years, months and days.
–Complete all the legal documents so your wishes will be followed.
4. Eat Right, Exercise
–Enjoy treats regularly, but be sure to give your body the fuel it needs to be well.
5. Nurture Your Spirituality
–Feed your faith and your soul, which houses your spirit. Your spirit makes you the unique and gifted individual you are.
6. Surround Yourself with Support
–Friends, family, and sometimes strangers, help during the difficult times.
7. Devote Time to Your Hobbies, Interests
–Play your passion; it will get you up in the morning.
8. Volunteer and Help Others
–We all need to be needed–it brings meaning to our day—no matter what our age or disability.
9. Laugh and Laugh Loud
–Even in your darkest hours, enjoy the joke.
10. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
–Determine how much and how long you’ll help; saying “No”, with a smile, is okay!
11. Love and Be Loved and Be Loved By Only the Best
–Love is our greatest treasure. It’s an incredible gift to give and receive. Set standards for love; when you do, it always will reach your high marks. You deserve the best.
