Freeze Care Recipient’s Credit Report To Prevent Fraud

Identity theft can happen to any of us. But, if it happens to a care recipient, the repercussions can impact the ability to pay for future care needs. You can put a freeze credit reports of persons over 65 years of age for free. (You can freeze yours, too, but you typically pay fee if you are under 65.) Freezing a care recipient’s credit report means that new credit can’t be opened in his or her name,...

Tuesday Events and Musings

It was a beautiful day today-nice warms temps in the 50s. I took some time for myself today to do some leisurely shopping and also took a walk. It was a nice break. I felt I needed to do that after the last few days stressful news of my mother-in-law. I think I am the only one of the family who has a real idea what she will go through, if she has chemo having just gone through it myself in my not so recent...

How Do We Help Our Father on Hospice?

Dear Denise, Just looking into online support to help my sister and I deal with taking care of our father who is in hospice in his home. We have been alternately living with him for almost 3 months. Some days it is so easy and others no so. His long time girlfriend left him and my sister and I felt that we could take this on. He is 77 and dying from pulmonary fibrosis. He is on oxygen all of the time. Right now he...

Isn’t My Place with My Husband?

Dear Denise, I don’t know where to turn. I have tried talking to my husband’s hospice workers but no suggestions were given. Maybe I am looking for no more than a shove. When my husband was diagnosed with advanced cancer, his son came into town…leaving his wife behind and announced he was staying until his Dad died. He also told me I put too much stock in the role of wife when we had a discussion...

Booklet Helps Ease the Stress of Hospitalization for People with Memory Loss

A trip to the hospital for a person with memory loss or dementia can be stressful for both the person and the accompanying caregiver. To help family and friends of individuals with memory loss prepare for and deal with hospitalization, the Alzheimer’s Disease Education and Referral (ADEAR) Center of the National Institute on Aging is distributing the newly updated “Hospitalization Happens: A Guide to...

It Can Seem So Hard!

It’s hard to stay positive, to keep the faith, to believe that all will be okay. To keep you going, we offer tips, in the form of words of wisdoms. Tip One: Take Care You probably hear those words so often that you may feel numb to their meaning. Take care? How in the world do you take care when it comes to yourself? A few thoughts: * Take care of yourself in your relationships, choosing to spend your time and...

Latest Update

I just talked with Pat, my sister-in-law, on the phone a little while ago. My mother-in-law had a consultation and the taking of her history with the dr. today. I thought that they were going to do the biopsy today, but that will not be until this Thursday. It is all but certain, however, that my mother-in-law has ovarian cancer. The dr. said once in awhile they are surprised, but not usually. IF she does...

Another Week

Yesterday was a good but busy day with church, choir practice, and my woman’s Sunday school class. In our woman’s Sunday school class part of the time we share prayer concerns. I was able to share some of my concerns and ask for prayer. Wayne went to church with me in the morning. It is more work when he goes with me anywhere, but I was so happy he went. He is still resisting going places,...

Does the Paid Caregiver Need a Commercial License?

Dear Denise, I have been told by my dad’s insurance that his caregiver (who is paid) has to have a commercial license from DMV to drive my dad’s car and drive my dad around. One person at insurance never mentioned it, another did. I am getting conflicting info and they are saying that the caregiver should have a commercial license to drive his own car for my dad’s needs? Hi, I have worked as a...

Two Lists & Two Journals

A family caregiver in a support group once shared what she considered to be a shameful secret. A friend gives her regular breaks, for which she is immensely grateful. The problem? She has no idea what to do with her extra time. Oh, boy, is that common! Your day is so full of action and worries that downtime can seem to doom you. No worries—we’ve got a great suggestion. Create two lists, Job Jar and When...

My Husband Won’t Travel

Dear Denise, My husband is caring for his parents who have 24-hour care in a nursing home. My problem is that my husband does not feel comfortable traveling to get away and limit his stress. His communicates that he must be available to his folks “if anything happens.” He also feels that when one of them dies he must be available to tell the other how to cope with the situation. How do I provide support to him...

Daily Blessings

It was so great to feel the warner temps recently especially today. Today got in the 40s. That felt almost balmy after the cold winter we have been having. It was so wonderful to get out an walk again today. I also got groceries today and washed and vacuumed the car at the car wash. I wonder if difficult times in our lives sometimes makes us more appreciative of the little joys and blessings. Thank...

Communicate What You Want

Concentrate on communicating what you want–rather than worrying about the response you receive. For instance, you’ve been caring for your father for several years. Initially, you and your spouse clearly communicated with each other about responsibilities, needs, goals. Then, the caregiving seemed to get in the way—and you worried that if you asked your spouse how he felt about all that you do, well, he...

A Smile and a Dinner

Worried about your care recipient while you’re at work? Or, do you provide care from a distance, which makes it hard to really know how your care recipient is doing? Meals on Wheels may be the program to help! In 1990, I decided to make a career change—and landed into a job managing a congregate nutrition site for older adults in Lambertville, N.J. In addition to providing a hot lunch-time meal to local...

Tax Time Great Time To Update/Review Paperwork

It’s the time of year to be surrounded by paperwork. Since the pile of pile already takes up a chunk of your dining room table, why not review legal documents for you and your care recipient to ensure they are up-to-date. –Will: Experts recommend updating your will every three years. Consider: Are beneficiaries still living? Does the will reflect the correct distribution of all assets? –Durable powers...

Change Your Perspective And You Just Might Change Your Reality

A hard lesson to learn is that we can’t change anyone. We can only change ourselves. Wondering why your spouse says what he/she does? Why your care recipient acts the way he/she does? Exhausted from trying to change them? A hard lesson to learn is that we can’t change anyone. We can only change ourselves. And, interestingly enough, when we change, we also change our relationships. The next time you want to...

Be Good… To Yourself

Be good to yourself by: • Knowing that you are doing your very best—and that’s the best you can do. • Understanding that you will have bad days, but those bad days don’t make you a bad person. They are just that—bad days. The good days will return. • Making room in your heart for forgiveness. Others have done you wrong—it’s true. Living in forgiveness means you take control of your life and move...

The Help Arrived, But Left Too Early

A neighbor offers to help. You gratefully accept. And, then, when the job doesn’t get done, you wonder: What did I do wrong? You hear this all the time: If someone offers to help, accept it! So, you do. A neighbor offers to help. He works in the home care industry and has volunteered to install those grab bars in the bathroom. You’ve been meaning to do this ever since your care recipient’s arrival home...

How Big Your Caregiving Role Makes You

I had a friend who married a man who bragged about his big house. To him, a big house made him a big man. In our society, my friend’s husband isn’t the only one who measures bigness by the size of material possessions. Because of your caregiving role, you may feel that you’ve sacrificed one material possession after another, perhaps to the extent that you feel you have very little. The savings account for the...

Caregiver of the Year Award Winner: Linda Abbit, Irvine, Calif.

Care recipient: Aida, Linda’s mom, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease Nominated by: Jeff, Linda’s husband; read the nominating letter. In Linda’s words: When I feel stressed, I: Take a deep breath. My current challenge is: My mom’s bedsores. When I have an extra five minutes, I: Read something, anything, that’s near by. My mantra is: How lucky I am to have had my parents this...

Caregiver of the Year Award Winner: Ron Gladis, Malvern, Pa.

Caregiver of the Year Award Winner: Ron Gladis, Malvern, Pa. Care recipient: Mariah, Ron’s wife Nominated by: Dori Middleman, a colleague of Mariah’s; read the nominating letter. In Ron’s words: When I feel stressed, I: Breath. I make sure I take a deep breath, almost like a college basketball player will do before taking a foul shot. It helps me relax and see what’s really important. My current...

COTY Award Winner: Craig Jennings, Port Washington, N.Y.

Caregiver of the Year Award Winner: Craig Jennings, Port Washington, N.Y. Care recipient: Annie, Craig’s wife, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. Annie is in remission. Nominated by: Jane Harris, a friend; read the nominating letter In Craig’s words: When I feel stressed, I: Don’t recognize stress, but I work. My current challenge is: Gaining more clients for my business coaching. When...