Hi,
I take care of my grandmother 24 hours during the week. Her kids pick her up on Friday night at 6 p.m. and bring her home on Sunday by 6 p.m. My question is: Am I wrong to feel that I should be paid for my time? How much should I be paid for 24 hour care? I fix all of her meals and clean up after her and do all the housework, etc. I also do her hair and make-up and all the laundry, take her to the doctor and buy all the food.
I live with her for free. Her kids feel that not paying rent is the same as being paid for her 24-hour care.
Why do I feel like I should do this for free? My aunts and uncles don’t want to give up their jobs or home to take care of her. They make me feel so bad for even thinking that I should be paid some thing for my time. When I left my husband in 1993, I moved in with my grandma and pa and paid them $300.00 month plus food.
So why do I feel so bad?? I have been taking care of her now for a year for free.
Hi,
My feeling is that your room and board should be part of your compensation, but not all of it.
To find out the cost of live-in help, contact your local home care agencies. Ask for the going-rate of a live-in home care worker who works from Monday through Friday.
I can understand why you feel guilty–it’s your grandmother, she’s family, so why should you receive pay? Just as you take care of your grandmother, it’s important to take care of yourself. You can’t take care of yourself if you endure a financial hardship and sacrifice your own future in the process.
My suggestion would be to ask your aunts and uncles to join you in a family meeting. In preparation for the meeting, create a job description detailing your duties and responsibilities. During the meeting, explain how much you love caring for your grandmother, how much you appreciate that you can live with her. Then, tell them it’s important to you to be fairly compensated for your work. Explain your responsbilities, share your job description and then detail the cost of hiring a home care worker to do what you do. Then, tell them what you want.
Be willing to listen and compromise.
And, expect the best but be prepared for the worst. Meaning, what if they tell you they can’t afford to pay you? Will you be comfortable continuing as your grandmother’s caregiver? Would you be willing to negotiate your salary?
In addition, continue to think about your future. How will you support yourself when your caregiving role ends? Are your skills up-to-date? In need of a refresher? How can you ensure your skills stay current? The time to prepare for the future is today.
Hope this helps–good luck!
