Life’s Joys, Sorrows, and Lessons

On Sunday my caregiving friend came up to me and told me thanks for the caregiver’s devotional book by Terry Hargrave that I had given her the week before. She said that one day when she was at “the end of her rope” the first devotional in the book was just what she needed. It is so great to see how God works! It is also good to see that I am not the only one to have struggles. It is easy...

This Week, Document The Loss

Image by paperbackwriter via Flickr (Editor’s Note: On Wednesdays, we share a journaling tip as part of our series, Journaling 101. This is our second tip.) Caregiving can also mean frustration, guilt, anger. It also can mean heartache over all the losses. This week, write about your losses that you’ve experienced–the losses to your lifestyle, your pocketbook, your friendships, your free...

Managing Medications: Tips from a Geriatric Pharmacist

When you care for an aging relative, you may find yourself in the midst of situations for which you couldn’t plan or prepare. And, then you find yourself surrounded by bottles and bottles of medications. How overwhelming is that! We asked Brian Wolstenholme, a Board Certified Geriatric Pharmacist, Senior Care Pharmacist and Fellow of the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists, to share his expertise in...

A Taste of Heaven and a Lesson Learned

I had the opportunity to go to a muscial program again tonight. This time it was all sacred music. Three different men’s chrous groups were there. When they all sang together there were around 100 men singing. It was awesome! That has to be a little of what heaven will be like! One comes home so lighthearted and joyful after a concert like that. The only thing that dampened the evening was the...

Ask Denise: How Do I Prepare for My Own Future?

Denise, As the number of single seniors and baby boomers, primarily women, continues to grow, the need for caregivers will, too.  Today I was talking with my very senior neighbor living alone who is independently sharp.  We were discussing what to do if illness occurred requiring care and help. I immediately thought of you. What suggestions can you offer? Hi, Great question! This actually is a great question we...

Free Online Support for Family Caregivers of Veterans

The California Office of Caregiving (Veterans Affairs), is undertaking a pilot study of an online class/support group for family caregivers.  The class is for veterans who are either giving or receiving care.  To participate, you must reside in California, southern Nevada, or Hawaii, and your care recipient must be suffering from TBI, PTSD, dementia, or doctor-diagnosed memory impairment. The program, called...

Working Family Caregivers Get Better Best Practices

Image via Wikipedia This week, the The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission updated its recommendations to employers to help their working family caregivers. In its report, the Commission wrote: Employers adopting flexible workplace policies that help employees achieve a satisfactory work-life balance may not only experience decreased complaints of unlawful discrimination, but may also benefit their...

Tell: What’s Your Embarrassing Caregiving Episode?

I’m a regular Twitterer. About a month ago, a fellow Twitterer posed this question: Have you ever been fired? Have I ever been fired… Well, sure, but did I really want to disclose that fact? A few moments of fingers poised mid-air, then, finally, typing. Sure, why not, I thought. So, I wrote back: I once got fired from a babysitting job. And, then, amazing I felt a release! The embarrassment I had...

Thursday Thoughts

Tonight my husband and I were invited to my son and wife’s family’s house again for supper and the evening. What a delight to again interact with my grandkids. The littlest one is two months old now, and he is growing like a weed. The little five year old girl always “helps” my son get my husband out of the chair when we leave. So sweet and really warms the heart! My...

This Week, Document The Beginning

Image by sushi♥ina via Flickr (Editor’s Note: Tired of staring at a blank sheet of paper? Bloated by negative emotions that won’t go away? This week, we debut a new column of journal exercises, offering suggestions and ideas to keep your journal entries flowing and your negative emotions leaving.) You’ve got the blank diary in front of you. You want to start writing, but you’re not sure where...

Ask Denise: How Do I Bring My Brother Back to the Family?

Dear Denise, My father died about four months ago.  My mother who has schizophrenia survived him and lives independently in their home.  I am my mother’s durable power of attorney and primary caregiver.  I have three siblings, two who live nearby and one who lives about 1 1/2 hours away.  All of us are attentive to my mother and her needs.  When my mother was setting up her will and trust a situation...

Study Shows Cost of Financial Eldercare Abuse

Elder financial abuse costs older Americans more than $2.6 billion per year and is most often perpetrated by family members and caregivers, according to a new report released by the MetLife Mature Market Institute (MMI) entitled, Broken Trust: Elders, Family and Finances, which is accompanied by tip sheets for older adults and families on how to prevent such issues. The report, produced in conjunction with the...

The Caregiver Compassion Quotient–What’s Your CQ?

By Patty Kearns (Editor’s Note: On a regular basis, we invite healthcare professionals and family caregivers to write a guest blog. We asked Patty Kearns, who cared for her mom until her mom’s death last year, to share her thoughts about a concept to share her thoughts about a concept she’s been thinking about lately–the Caregiver Compassion Quotient (CQ) and how it can help us reduce our...

Passion

What trips your trigger? Who floats your boat? What sparkles your eye? While caregiving can exhaust, sadden and overwhelm you, caregiving also can showcase your passion. It heightens who you are. And you, you are spirited, creative and fun. So, this week, be those things in the activities, relationships and hobbies that play your passion. When your passion plays, you are who you are meant to be. “We are all...

How Do I Not Take This Personally?

Dear Denise, I am writing you because I don’t know where to go with this.  My mom has the beginning of Alz. She drives me crazy with such nastiness.  I don’t know what to do.  I have been so stressed with this and usually back away.  She is so kind to her friends, aide and her son. I know that I shouldn’t take this personal, but I internalize my feelings and it’s killing me...

Blessings and “Blue” Feelings

After a few beautiful days, we were back to 40 degrees type temperatues today. We did enjoy the warm weather while it lasted, however. My husband even went out for a day or two on his mobility scooter for awhile when it was nice. None of that occured today, however. Oh well, we do need the rain too. I’m not so sure about the cold weather. I went to a musical program with a friend last night....

When I’m Sick At The Same Time…

I haven’t telephoned with my mom in a couple of days.  Not because I’m a bad son or person, or selfish — but I’m sick a lot, too.  Abdominal adhesion flare-ups, besides IBS and colitis, continue to be a chronic, very painful and disruptive health problem for me that wreaks havoc on and interrupts my life and sanity very often.  It often seems that just when I’m getting things...

Time

Everyone, it seems, wants a piece of your time. How in the world will you have enough time for everyone? And, have time to achieve all you want in life? Worrying about the lack of time can create a deficit–you may feel that you’ll never have enough time. Believe you have time. You have time for all that caregiving requires of you. You have time for all you want for yourself in life. You have time.

A Good Few Days

I took my mother-in-law to one of her medical appointments on Tuesday. She is scheduled to get her port in on Friday and then maybe chemo will follow soon afterwards. After taking my mother-in-law to her appointment I had her here for lunch and for a few hours that afternoon. That way she would get a good meal, and I could serve my husband at the same time. Then at 4:00 that same day I had to go for a...

Advocating So You Can Avoid Regrets

Image via Wikipedia By Lori Palermo (Editor’s Note: On a regular basis, we invite healthcare professionals and family caregivers to write a guest blog. We asked Lori to share how her dad’s death led her to a life of advocacy. Lori’s website is www.loveyourlungsbreatheforlife.com. You also can listen to Lori discuss her experiences on Your Caregiving Journey.) On December 26, 2003, my dad...

First

Do you wonder how long you’ll feel last because your caregiving role seems to last forever? It’s awful to feel last, that everything and everyone good passes you by. Know you are very first. You are first because you were first to step in and help, first to find solutions, first to advocate. Your firsts will earn you a first-place finish. You are a first. Your grace, wisdom and kindness ensure you...

She Says She’s Reached Her Limit

Dear Denise, I need advice. My father had a stroke 4 years ago that left him unable to speak (though he understands everything he is unable to speak or write) and his right arm is paralyzed. He was only 60. He has been able to do most things for himself during this time (walking, dressing, eating, etc.) My mother has taken care of him during this time, but she has had a lot of caregiver stress. Recently, he was...