On Sunday evening, around 8:45 pm, I was holding her hand, telling her how much everyone loved her, saying the Lord’s prayer as she took her last breaths. She was in her (our) home, and she had received medication to relieve pain and anxiety.
She had a heart attack, after a long stay in the ICU with a COPD exacerbation.
I will write more as I can.
Oh, Tara, I’m so, so sorry. And, I’m so, so proud of you. You were a terrific caregiver to your mom. More importantly, you used the time with your mom to gain important insights about her and yourself. What great gifts you gave to her and to you! This chapter in your life will become more and more valuable to you. Write when you can. We’re thinking of you. My very sincerest sympathies to you and yours.
Dear Tara,
My grandmother who raised me has been suffering with COPD/Emphysema for three years. It is so horrible that words can not describe the feelings when she moans and coughs. I am an orphan when she dies and I am so afraid. I am crying as I write this. She is home with my grandfather and I am afraid he caught the swine flu from his church and I think she has it. She took so much NYQUIL that she was like high and she refuses to go to the hospital even if I call the ambulance. She said to me that she is so tired of going to the hospital. She didn’t say she wanted to die but I feel thats what she meant. I can’t stand her suffering but I can’t stand her leaving me. Can you tell me how I can help her? I want to call her doctors but I don’t know if they will talk to me. I would like her to die comfortably as your mom did. It is all so difficult and I can’t sleep. I keep waiting for the phone to ring to tell me she has passed. Anything you can tell me would be so greatly appreciated.
I know how you must feel. I am so sorry for your mother’s passing and I pray she is with God in heaven now.
Barbara -
Wow. I am so sorry. It sounds so stressful and difficult. Has your family checked to see if your Grama qualifies for Hospice? There are special qualifications for COPD patients–so she could get in sooner than normal. Her family doctor has to ‘admit’ her, so-to-speak, but, it sounds like she’s at the place where getting to appointments is really tough.
Also–any kind of respitory illness magnifies and intensifies COPD, and potentially could be life-threatening. It sounds like she really really needs to see a doctor. Could your family doctor come to the house? If he or she can’t there are some that do this for people in your grama’s situation. It sounds like a call to a Hospice provider is in order. They can help your family coordinate your Grama’s care–and give you ideas about physicians that will come to the house.
Also–the Area Agency on Aging is a tremendous resource for you all. Good luck to you, and I am so sorry.