Comments on: The Genesis of Shame http://www.caregiving.com/2009/06/the-genesis-of-shame/ Insights ~ Information ~ Inspirations Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:15:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Denise http://www.caregiving.com/2009/06/the-genesis-of-shame/comment-page-1/#comment-3130 Denise Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:48:18 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=2175#comment-3130 Hi Sherri--When I read your comment, I couldn't help but think: "Oh, what a shame." And, it is a shame, isn't it, that we can be our own worst enemy. Your insight that your mom's shame still impacts her, even with dementia, is really interesting. I often wonder how much of a care recipient's past that we don't know about affects the caregiving today. Thanks for sharing. And, you look perfect to me. :) Hi Sherri–When I read your comment, I couldn’t help but think: “Oh, what a shame.” And, it is a shame, isn’t it, that we can be our own worst enemy.

Your insight that your mom’s shame still impacts her, even with dementia, is really interesting. I often wonder how much of a care recipient’s past that we don’t know about affects the caregiving today.

Thanks for sharing. And, you look perfect to me. :)

]]> By: Sherri http://www.caregiving.com/2009/06/the-genesis-of-shame/comment-page-1/#comment-3105 Sherri Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:13:57 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=2175#comment-3105 Isn't it interesting how our thoughts and feeling affect us so deeply? My mother's shame was that she was born with the deformity of a cleft palate and lip. Even though she's had surgeries to correct it, it bothered her her whole life. She has always believed that people don't like her because she does not have a perfect appearance. The dementia she has now makes it worse. On a couple of occasions, she has believed that one of my daughter's friends was laughing at her and even secretly took her picture (she was texting). Mom's shame in her appearance led to me having the burden of perfectionism. Especially when we were little, Mom was focused on us always looking and acting perfect when we were out. I still struggle with the belief that if I'm not perfect people won't like me. Isn’t it interesting how our thoughts and feeling affect us so deeply? My mother’s shame was that she was born with the deformity of a cleft palate and lip. Even though she’s had surgeries to correct it, it bothered her her whole life. She has always believed that people don’t like her because she does not have a perfect appearance. The dementia she has now makes it worse. On a couple of occasions, she has believed that one of my daughter’s friends was laughing at her and even secretly took her picture (she was texting).

Mom’s shame in her appearance led to me having the burden of perfectionism. Especially when we were little, Mom was focused on us always looking and acting perfect when we were out. I still struggle with the belief that if I’m not perfect people won’t like me.

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