My friend Ben always asks this question in jest, and it’s hilarious when he says it.
When I’m just fried like a hot potato, I like to make myself laugh, thinking of Ben saying this.
But, seriously, today, WTF!!!
Mom is still in ICU, on and off the non-invasive ventilator, having gotten off the ‘tubes’ yesterday. (or the day before? all the days run together…) I know she’s feeling better because she’s asking for her coffee and chap stick.
Me, on the other hand, I’ve got some weird illness–it could either be Strep throat or a possible allergic reaction to some medications–I’ve never had itchy soles of my feet, combined with a massive sore throat and GI upset. So–I’m going to the doctor today, but I am absolutely exhausted from this multi-week odyssey with my mom’s COPD exacerbation.
Today the Social Worker from the hospital called. Normally, I’d be like “YEAH! Finally! Some help! Thank you!” but, after talking to her I’m like, “Seriously? That’s the best you can do? Really?” I almost wonder if mom would be better off with no one in her family stepping up to the plate to help out?!! In terms of Medicaid and being placed in an appropriate care facility.
I still have a long road of
…getting accurate diagnoses (sp?)–is she in Dementia? What is her level of functioning? Or is she merely attention-seeking, and having ‘Failure to Thrive?’
…finding out if she qualifies for additional aid which determines where she could possibly live…
…finding a suitable placement for her—Assisted Living? Memory Care? Geriatric Psych? Nursing Home?
The worst for me is if they send her home with me, and she’s still massively (dumping buckets) incontinent, and I can’t control how dry she stays or how often she bathes. If she has health complications from this state of affairs, I’ll feel like it was my fault if she has another exacerbation/hospitalization. And that’s what it was sounding like talking to the Social Worker.
Again, I’m still a roach, living in roach motel–or a slave, with no expectation of personal financial security/independence despite working my ass off, and indenturing the next generations of my family because of mom’s bad life choices and the limits of our societal social net. And, I still can not believe, this is really how things are truly.
Seriously? What level of hell is this?
(I will write more coherently when the storm clouds clear).
Well… Would it be Level 20 out of 10? I’m so sorry! I can understand why you would so frustrated and resentful of your mom’s choices and the awful impact on your family. It’s hard to find the fairness in all this.
If you don’t like the social worker, ask for her supervisor. You’re in a tough spot and need all the qualified help you can get.
I hope you feel better! Update us when you can…
For the past two years I’ve been caring for both my parents and thinking I was alone in this world. I am an only child, single, no children, etc.
Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. My mother suffered a brain injury and I have yet to be told at what level she is at, but being her only child and my best friend for 46years, she seems to put on rhe act of being needy etc. That you described and it’s the very first time I felt like somebody was living in the same level of hell that I am.right this moment. I hope things get better for you and GOD bless you.
Taking care of a loved one is difficult. We have a great webcast on Caregiving & TBI: What you need to Know. Features a lot of experts on caregiving talking about the difficulties that they faced. Helps to show you’re not alone!