Building Your Boundaries

Image by MyEyeSees via Flickr

(On July 10, Anna Stookey joined us on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss how we can break bad habits with our care recipient. Our conversation led us to talk about boundaries, which led to this blog post. You can listen to the show through the player at the bottom of this post. If you have your speakers on, the show will begin to play automatically.)

Life is really what happens between our ears.

Our thoughts can create our reality. And, in a situation like caregiving that’s chaotic and troubling, the battle for what happens between our ears can be exhausting. You can change a situation or a experience by changing your thoughts. And, you can change a relationship by setting boundaries.

Boundaries are the white picket fences that protect your time, your values, your well-being, your priorities, yourself. Just as you would tell an intruder climbing over a fence, “Hey, this is private property, back off,” so you can tell an intruder of your personal boundaries to step back or away.

Take some time to think of what you want your fence to protect. Then, think of the words you’d like to use to protect what’s behind your fence. For example, if you’d like to protect your time and your care recipient seems to believe your time is his time, then you might say, “After we finish lunch, I’m going to take two hours this afternoon for myself. I have everything set up in the living room that you need. Thank you so much for respecting my time. Your support means a great deal to me.”

Feel free to practice crafting your words with us here. Finding the rights can be trial-and-error, but don’t give up. You’ll discover just the right way to express and protect yourself.

Resources

Simple

Our Three-Part Series on Shame

10 Steps to a Successful Caregiving Experience