I have a friend who regularly talks about Google’s “secret sauce,” i.e., the secret to the company’s initial success (the company used people, rather than technology, to populate its search directory).
I think we all have a secret sauce. I think, in particular, family caregivers have a secret sauce. It may be so secret that you may be unaware of it. Your secret sauce is whatever keeps you going. It could be those five minutes every day you take to sit in the unmoving car in the driveway (it feels sooooo good to get away), or that roll of duct tape you use to keep it all together (it’s a miracle, that duct tape), or that one movie your care recipient can watch over and over (what a relief that something works).
Tell us: What’s your secret sauce?
One of our commentors will receive a decorated journal from Heather Short, who cares for her mom.
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Regular hugs. No words. Not a hug for “doing” anything.
Just a big hug out of the blue and a “I’m glad you are here”
My “secret sauce”–and, to some extent, my mom/co-caregiver’s–is to just drive for a while. (Well, in her case it’s driving. In mine it’s riding. But the idea is the same.) It doesn’t have to be someplace pretty, though that’s always a bonus. It doesn’t have to be a destination, though sometimes we end up at a restaurant or dessert place. It doesn’t really matter. We just get in the car, turn the radio on, open the roof (if weather permits), and go. Five minutes helps, 20 minutes is a joy, and a half-hour or more is true relaxation. No Grandma bugging us, no staring at the work piled up at home, just…us. And the road. And music that takes us away. *pictures it, and sighs*
My secret sauce is the amount of visible joy I bring to my parents’ lives when I bring them dinner or bring my mom new novels or tease my dad about something and get that knowing smile from him. Their thank you’s are sincere and I know they appreciate all that I do for them. I can feel my heart fill with my own happiness and sense of accomplishment when I’ve done something to make their daily lives a little bit better. Caregiving is a truly a blessing most days.
My “secret sauce” is just positive energy. My personal motto: Live, Love, Laugh.
I have my moments where I am overwhelmed and have to have a good cry. But for the most part, I stay focused on getting my husband better. It’s my goal to make him feel the best he possibly can every single day. That can be various things; like laying in bed with him for a few extra minutes in the morning before everyone’s needs start, making a meal I know he probably cannot eat but he will try (and some food in his system is better than none, right?!?!), quietly watching television with him and not asking a million questions about how he’s feeling or what I can do to help, etc. He knows I am here, 100% every single day. And I keep it together; the kids, the doctor’s appointments, his meds and refills.
Wow. It’s kind of strange talking about it “out loud” … but I everything I do for him is out of love. It’s my greatest wish that my nearest & dearest have a love like this and would do whatever it takes to help their loved ones.
.-= Skye´s last blog ..Because everyone loves ice cream =-.
My “secret sauce” is being able to go back to bed after I give my brother his breakfast at 7:30am. I get him all set up with his food, orange juice and pills. Then I go back to bed. After he eats and takes his pills he goes back to bed too.
One of my greatest friends and teachers has a great lttle thing he teaches; You Can Behave Yourself Into Feeling A Way.
This is a very big ingredient in my secret sauce.
You see, it’s really important for my Dad to know that I am happy. If I were to take his vitals or do something for him and I didn’t seem happy, he would instantly go into this negative place where he believes he is holding me back or that he is a burden.
Although I am very greatful to be blessed with having my Dad and being able to take care of him, as a human being I’m not always happy. Somtimes i’m just indifferent, or irritated over something, or just plain tired.
So I thought about my friend/teacher and his words. Behave myself into feeling happy. Then I applied another little practice I learned. If i did this, would it do any harm? No it would not. If i did this would it do any good? It might.
So now, whenever I am interacting with my Dad, I do my very best to put on the biggest smile possible and kind of clown around with him.
The funny thing is that when I do this, he laughs and gets very jovial himself. Before you know it, we are laughing. We’re happy.
That’s my secret sauce. Well that, plus extra pickles.
Several things come to mind…I definitely do the above and “behave myself into feeling” a certain way. What a good way to put that. I also just stop a moment whenever I am feeling frustrated and picture myself in my Grandmother’s position (100% dependent due to frailty and stroke). I think of how I would feel if my loved one were cross with me for something I couldn’t help. That usually snaps me back to where I need to be. Prayer helps: “patience and long-suffering, patience and long-suffering…” Comic books help me, personally. Pride & Prejudice (the movie) helps both of us.