Ask Denise: How I Can Stay Home to Care for My Parents?

Dear Denise,

I need help.

I live in California and was laid off in October. I have been on unemployment and looking for a job. More and more, I have become the caregiver for both my elderly parents.

I have looked into the state funded caregiver program but on paper my parents make too much money to qualify. In reality, they are barely making ends meet.

MY unemployment is due to run out and I know I can not go back to work because their needs are increasing. They can’t afford to pay anyone to take care of them nor can they afford assisted living.

Is there some type of funding that I can get? This is now a full time job and I’ve got to figure something out.

Hi,

What a tough spot! I wish I could tell you that funding is readily available. Unfortunately, it’s the opposite–funding for family caregivers is very limited. Some states have created a Cash and Counseling program, which allows a Medicaid recipient to hire family members to provide care. Unfortunately, California does not participate in this program.

There may be a program locally that can help you. I’m not sure if by state-funded caregiver program, you mean Caregiver Resource Centers. If you haven’t contacted the center nearest you, give them a call. The center has staff who can work with you to make the right decision. Services include legal and financial consultation.

These articles may help: Caregiving or Your Career.

Just a few other suggestions:

Spend time thinking about what you really want from this situation. Do you  want to be able to be at home with your parents and provide for their care needs? Would you like to find a part-time job and find help for your parents? Would you prefer that you found alternative housing options that provide for their care needs so you can work full-time?

Once you’ve determine which option is best, you can be focused on exactly what you need as you make calls to find help.

I really believe when facing such a tough decision, it’s best to contact the professionals (such as a financial planner and an attorney). The professionals can suggest resources and services you may not be aware of, help you create a budget, and assist you in planning future budgets.

As you work to put your plan in place, make a To Do list for each day. You’ll want to take daily steps to achieving your goal (i.e., you stay home, you work part-time, you work full-time or another option that you determine would be best). Commit to take three actions each day, including doing what you’ve done with me (email anyone and everyone you can think of that may be able to help). Ask your church or synagogue, your local senior center and your city or county for any suggestions they can offer.

Most important, keep an open mind about any possibility that may work. Sometimes, it’s what you don’t think will work, actually does.

Let me know what happens.

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Stumped by an on-going struggle? Searching for meaning in your journey? You’re not alone!

Family caregivers ask Denise M. Brown, Editor and Publisher, Caregiving.com, for her insights and suggestions to their caregiving conundrums. Have a question for Denise? Just e-mail her. Denise will do her best to answer questions within 24 hours.

If you or your care recipient are in a crisis, we urge you to call a health care professional immediately for assistance. Denise only provides general insights about general situations. You should always consult your own lawyer, financial planner, health care professional and other professional advisors for advice specific to your situation.

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