Since I last blogged, I have had quite a tough and depressing time. My aunt sent me an eviction notice on my birthday and the week after I got mom into her temporary detox unit. I learned not only is my aunt evicting me, but all occupants. That includes mom who was supposed to come home after three months of detox. Mom and my aunt co-own this house. I was only given 30 days to vacate. I am fighting for more time. With my family harassing me and seeing to mom in her nursing home as well as fighting a deep depression over all these events, I haven’t had time to try and find a new place to live, do my job which my family harasses me at and pack.
I will fill you in on everything with excerpts from my twitter in the next installment, but today, I want to share a text message conversation with my sister and how things have deteriorated and how by following the doctor’s orders, I am being threatened with legal action. Forgive all text language.
Dorice (sister): Dee dee (my nickname). Mom is very drugged it appears. What is she being given. How much and why. Dorice
Me: Please call her psychiatrist dr. B.
Me: Dr. S. b.
Dorice: U call {dr B} and tell her to instruct los flores to remove drugs. U have taken any rights thru poa from howard and me to do so. Call her today. I also want
Me: Dr. B’s number is 310 *** ****she will explain to you why mom has to be on the medication due to violent behavior. Please direct all questions of moms care to her.
Dorice: Financial records and for you to turn bank accounts over to me immediately. I am going to move mom to a far better place. If. U do this immediatly I will not ha
Dorice: Have u investigated for elder abuse. I have better doctors lined up for mom who do not need to use drugs. Again {dr. b} will not follow my directions because .
Dorice: Power of atty. By blocking howard {brother} and I u are responsibe fully. Again u need to call here and have her remove mom from meds and turn over finances to me so I c
Me: With alzheimers they must be on drugs. Read the books. You are trying to make me accountable for her disease and is now causing me added stress. Leave me alone. Call dr. B. You are going to be investigated for elder abuse. I have done everything the doctors told me to do. Stop harassing me.
Dorice: Can move mom. Again if u do not I will start investigation legally against u regarding many things
Dorice: U are harassing howard {brother} and me by not allowing us to take care of mom appropriately. Drugs r not needed here but because u plased her in a non alzheimers environ
Me: I have contacted the dept of health for a public guardian for mom. We will all be investigated including {aunt} doris. Mom always knew you would do exactly what you are doing. She said long ago you always wanted to control her. Enough is enough. I would rather see her in a strangers hands than yours
Dorice: Ment she is not receiving appropriate dignified care. Again turn over all financial and bank accounts to me or I will start an investigation against u. I m see
Dorice: Am seeing our attourny today and will begin proceedings today. Period. This is my last attemt to reach out to u to do the right thing. No harrassment involved
Dorice: Mom told both howard and I years ago u were abusing her and complaned that she wanted u to move deanna. Since this sounds like u will not cooperate I m moving f
Dorice: Forward and am seeking conservatorship of mom. End of negotiations
The funny thing is, mom use to complain to me about them abusing her when she would rarely go anywhere with them. I didn’t tell them because I knew it was part of the disease. I knew they didn’t abuse her. Why can’t they think the same of me?
Then, I see mom tonight and she sees me and cries calling me by name. She said she was so glad to see me. I just am heartbroken. This is effecting my health now. Isn’t it enough that she and I had to go through her illness together all these years and now we are having to have this added stress. I am going to have to move, declare bankruptcy and start over as well as having to defend myself against people who never helped. Can they be charged with neglect? Why do the very people who should be supporting you, turn on you when you need them most?
Oh, I bet this was hard to put on paper, so to speak. Makes it so much more real. I’m so sorry…
You are right to keep this thought: What’s best for Mom? Focusing on what’s best for her will keep you moving in the right direction.
I am also so glad you and your mom had a special visit last night. You and your mom have special moments ahead. These moments are just for you.
Thanks Denise. I am just feeling so beat up. Part of me wants to just throw up my hands and let them have mom, but I know that won’t change their hatred of me or the level of care mom will ultimately get. I still don’t understand how my sister remains so ignorant of all the reasons mom should be on sedatives for not only her safety, but the safety of others. I have to get three lawyers I learned and wonder where the money is going to come from. One for bankruptsy, one for possible probate of my grandfather’s trust and one to defend myself in the conservatorship hearing. I have to call the public guardian’s office today and see if they can direct me.
Deanna,
Words just can’t express the mix of emotions that are running in my head for you, and in my heart and for your momma. This is unfair and unjust. Its like they just crawled out of the wood works like a bunch of annoying little bugs to just make a tough situation already worse. I feel for you and wish there was more I could do for you, but offer my love, prayers and support. I am praying that God can step in and take this hardness in their hearts out and the blinders off their eyes so that they can see what this is doing to your mother, and thus to your health. There is a light at the end of the tunnel… have faith my friend…just focus on your mom right now and what is best for her. I am praying for you my friend
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Just not feeling well today! =-.
Thanks Susan. I just received notice that my eviction trial begins on September 11. Ironic, isn’t it?
Deanna,
I am so sorry for all that you are going through.
My prayers are with you