How I Felt When I Heard My Father’s Diagnosis with Parkinson’s

By John Mills (Editor’s Note: This is the first of a three-part series written by John Mills, who we call a Godspeed Caregiver. In this series, John Mills discusses caring for his father and his decision after his role ended to launch a business, eCare Diary, to help family caregivers.) My father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in early 2001 and passed away from it two years ago at age 83.  His...

Facing Fears

Today on Table Talk, we spoke about your caregiving fears. (You can listen to the show via the player at the end of this post.) A few suggestions to help manage your fears: –Your fears can help you pinpoint your need for help, resources, information or just comfort. Consider: What can you learn from your fears? –Your “No’s” could be a way to mask your fears. Are you saying...

My Story: Looking Inside Depression

Last week, PsychCentral.com posted a helpful article on depression (7 Myths of Depression). I shared the link to the article on Twitter and immediately received responses. No surprise—depression and caregiving can go hand-in-hand. I asked one of the family caregivers who responded, Heather Short, to write about her experiences with depression. What follows are my questions and her answers. Heather is...

Healing Relationships, Part 1

Yesterday, we began our discussion on healing relationships with Anna Stookey, our bodymind guru. (You can listen to the complete show via the player at the end of the post.) Anna explained how caregiving situations bring past dysfunctions into the present. When we’re tested as a family unit, Anna explained, we revert to our past. When a family system is strained, we become who we were. Our care recipients...

Long-Term Care Costs Rise Across the Board from 2008 to 2009

Metlife Mature Market Institute® Survey Shows Notable Increases for Nursing Homes, Assisted Living Communities, Adult Day Services & Home Care Price rollbacks throughout the U.S. economy during the past year did not apply to long-term care service providers, according to the 2009 MetLife Market Survey of Nursing Home, Assisted Living, Adult Day Services, and Home Care Costs.  Private room nursing home rates...

Happy Halloween!

Image by lobo235 via Flickr Diane, wheelchair-bound as a result of a severe stroke five years ago, described herself as “hell on wheels.” Her description became her daughters’ inspiration for Diane’s Halloween costume; they decorated Diane’s chair with flames and a pitchfork; Diane picked out a bright red sweat pant outfit to wear. A sign on the wheelchair reading...

Back to School

I’ve returned to higher ed after 25 years. I am in my first course, Strategic Human Resources Management, in my grad program at UMass/Boston — Gerontology with Aging Services Management Track. My next big paper I’m starting to write is going to focus on volunteerism in the Salvation Army. They have a lot of elderly services, too.

Scattered…and Overwhelmed

Ugh.  Today was one of those days I felt that I was going to implode.  The week started off well — I pulled off a coup and, despite a nor’reaster here in Boston, I really did my best to take Mom out for dinner for her birthday, surprised her with a certificate to her favorite store, pulled out the stops with flowers and all…then the week’s been so crazy, between my diverticulitis/IBS...

Making Amends at 95

My grandmother died at 98 in November 2004. My relationship with my grandmother didn’t really start until she turned 95 when her health worsened and I decided I didn’t have much time left to learn her life story. During my childhood, my grandmother lived, at most, a 30-minute car ride from us. We saw her when we were children, but only when she and my parents were getting along. And that didn’t...

The seasons of our lives

I love that the weather is changing. To see the spastic little squirrels gathering, the leaves gradually changing, and the frost in the grass is inspiring. It feels freeing. It does something good for my soul. It’s all symbolic to me and I feel more connected knowing that the earth keeps on spinning and providing; just like my role as a caregiver. Seasons provide change; change that is beyond my control....

The Indelicate Topic

Yesterday, Jeannie Keenan, RN, of My Health Care Manager joined us for a discussion on Your Caregiving Journey about constipation and bowel incontinence. Because a few members of our online support groups have been struggling with their care recipients’ bowel incontinence, we thought this would be a timely topic. You can listen to the show via the player below. Some highlights: 1. Keep a journal about your...

Am I a Little Crazy?

I did some Christmas shopping for the grandkids yesterday. I am almost done shopping for them. I went to Fleet Farm’s Toyland, K-Mart, and two different Wal-Marts. I also loaded up at Aldi’s with groceries. I did this all with my husband, my man in a wheelchair along. I know I am a little crazy. Most stores have mobility scooters once one is safely in the store. Fleet Farm loaned me a wheelchair to go...

NFCA Offers Teleclass: How to Prevent Medication Mishaps

Each year, 100,000 people die because of adverse drug reactions. To educate family caregivers on how to prevent such errors, National Family Caregivers Association will offer a free educational teleclass/webinar for family caregivers, “Safe & Sound: How to Prevent Medication Mishaps.” The one-hour teleclass/webinar will take place November 12th at 2 p.m. ET. To register, visit here or call...

A Caregiving Comedy: Hit or Miss?

I love Twitter for many reasons, one of which is the sharing of knowledge and information. It’s a great way to stay on top of news and announcements. So, yesterday morning, I saw a tweet about a new video on caregiving. Hmmm… I watched. I’m just not sure what to think. So, with the permission of the video creators, I post here for you. I would love to know: Did this comedy hit your funny...

Choosing Our Time

Image by ckaiserca via Flickr It’s Seminar Season (seminar requests seem to fall in autumn and spring), so I’ve been lucky enough to meet with family caregivers as I present topics of interest to them. My message to family caregivers has grown over the years from taking care to taking care to make good choices. I learned this during a presentation a few years ago. During the session, we spoke...

When All Feels Lost, Believe

When I was 42, I thought my life was over. I was quite convinced of it. As I packed up my apartment to move back home with my parents (thank you, Mom and Dad), I piled my work clothes in a plastic garbage bag. Why keep these, I thought, I’ll never find a job. And, so went my pretty tweed jacket, my versatile black skirt, my favorite pink shirt. My mom asked, as she watched me fill the garbage bag:...

Seasons

Image by Photo-Bear (Slow) via Flickr With the change in seasons (from sunny summer to blustery fall) may come the change in your caregiving role. What seemed to be effortless during the warm, bright days of summer (doctors appointments, for instance) now seem to be full of effort as you and your care recipient bundle up to fight the cold. Yuck. Think of the arrival of our new season as an opportunity to...

Little Oasises in the Caregiving Experience

We were able to go away for a few days last week to the WI Dells with my son’s family and my daughter-in-law’s father. They took out the back seat of their van, and the guys were able to lift my husband’s mobility scooter into the van. This made my husband’s time away more enjoyable. In fact, it was more enjoyable for everyone because nobody had to push the wheelchair. We were able to...

Sometimes, We Can’t Move the Clouds But We Can Shift the Sun

About five years ago, I felt I lived under dark clouds. I had little money, so lived off cooked pasta flavored by Miracle Whip. Or, Doritos covered with melted shredded cheddar cheese. My mom gave me toilet paper. (You can read more what led to my dark days here.) I did all I could to run from under the clouds, including taping affirmations on my apartment’s walls. I created affirmations opposite of my...

Ask Denise: They Give Me Grief; Do I Have to Handle Her Affairs?

Hi Denise, I know you’ve heard this over and over again but I really need help. My mother has always been a difficult woman and since her recent open heart surgery, she has refused to comply with anything the doctors have asked her to do and so she has been back and forth from rehab to hospital many times. The nursing home advised me that she was rehabilitated and when I brought her home, she was being...

Writers on Caregiving

Yesterday, we had our October book club discussion; Nell Casey, editor of “An Uncertain Inheritance,” joined our discussion. Nell said a few things that struck me: Some writers who had committed to contributing an essay actually dropped out of the project–writing about the experience became just too much for them. She encourages readers to read a little at a time; reading the book from cover to...

Older Job-Hunters Need New Attitudes, Specific Skills, Fresh Expectations

A new study from the MetLife Mature Market Institute reports that many Americans over the age of 55 plan to work at least until age 69, but that most who look for a job face challenges in finding one. Yet, Department of Labor projections indicate that the 55+ population will account for almost 93% of the net increase in the U.S. Civilian Labor Force between 2006-2016. The research found in Buddy, Can You Spare a...