What They Miss…

This picture was taken in December of 1966, in Big Trees National Park, CA.  I was 8 years old, my brother was 14 and my sister 10.  The pretty lady holding the leash to our dog Red is my beautiful Mother Virginia.  In this picture my mom was 40 years old, younger than I am now. Today my mom celebrated her 83rd birthday.  My mom has suffered several strokes so she is partially paralyzed on her right side, but...

The Impact Caregiving Had on Me

(Editor’s Note: This is the second of a three-part series written by John Mills, who we call a Godspeed Caregiver. In this series, John Mills discusses caring for his father and his decision after his role ended to launch a business, eCare Diary, to help family caregivers.) Being a caregiver has been a life changing experience and a fulfilling one in so many ways. It strengthened the bond between my father and...

Thanksgiving

We had a great Thanksgiving service in our church Thanksgiving morning. There was lots of sharing of things people were thankful for via power point. (things people had submitted in written form earlier.) There were also some people who stood up and gave verbal thanks. It was a very moving service. Then we went to our son and daughter-in-law’s house for the afternoon. Some years we travel for Thanksgiving, but...

What Makes a Caregiving Day “Good”?

Today, on Table Talk, we gave thought to what makes a good caregiving day. I came up with a list 12 ways a caregiving day can be good; I’m included five of the 12 here. To hear the additional seven, listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post. (Be sure also to  listen to Wednesday’s Book Club discussion; the author of “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription For Happiness” told us...

Memories Come Alive on Thanksgiving for Us

Hi, I felt we had a T-Day experience yesterday that fits the bill well.  My mom’s house is like a waystation for the Holidays, with us and then cousins and other relatives coming and going and telephoning.  Well inthe evening, before I was getting ready to leave, I remembered that I’d had it in my mind this past week to ask my mom where she’d ended up storing the “Memories”...

Giving Thanks

I celebrated Thanksgiving with my little family on Wednesday, Thanksgiving Eve, because my son had to work on Thanksgiving Day. It was my mom, my sons David and Dale, and Danielle, who is David’s girlfriend. I fixed an 8lb turkey breast, STOVE TOP stuffing, cranberries, green bean casserole, mashed garlic potatoes, yams, ambrosia, dinner rolls, a pumpkin pie and an apple pie. Danielle came over early in...

Stay Home: Resources to Get a Break Right Where You Are

Some days, it feels great to get out of the house. It’s wonderful to hop in the car,  drive away, and leave it all behind. And, then there are some days when staying at home to take a break is just what the doctor ordered. You don’t have to shower, change out of pajamas, or even brush your teeth. You can enjoy a break at home, even with your care recipient at home. Products made specifically to occupy...

Ask Denise: Do I Have to Move?

(Editor’s Note: Denise has been answering family caregivers’ questions since 2000. Once in awhile, we share a column from a previous year. Today’s column originally appeared in 2004.) Hello Denise, Your website has been like a breath of fresh air to me. Can you please tell me where I might find info on long-distance caregiving? My situation is complicated: my parents have 2 homes; one here in...

Call for Submissions: End of Life Stories

Creative Nonfiction is seeking new essays that explore death, dying, and end of life care for a collection to be published by Southern Methodist University Press. The organization is looking for stories that transcend the “I” and find universal meaning in personal experiences. The goal is to include stories representing a wide variety of perspectives—from physicians, nurses, hospice workers, social workers,...

Take the Opportunity – Update 1

Friday, November 27, 2009 4:11:07 AM ________________________________________ Thanks everyone for your well wishes. My mom is doing much better and is in fact getting on my nerves – so that’s a good sign! The problem now is she feels better but her body hasn’t quite caught up, so she wants to do things that can hurt her (cause her to fall, pull out an IV, etc.) and I have to get on to her. ...

Take the Opportunity

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Caregivers! Unfortunately I may actually end up having pizza for Thanksgiving Dinner this year; something I have battled with my sister for years to keep OFF of the holiday table (I mentioned this little tradition in a post recently). I am sitting in the hospital taking care of my mom and we were unable to travel to our home town to spend time with family this year. I am battling all of...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope today brings a special moment when you can say, “Thank you.” Let us know about your Thanksgiving in our comments section,...

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish all my caregiving friends a Happy Thanksgiving. May you all find things for which you are thankful in spite of how difficult caregiving can be. A caregiving friend of mine said the following, “I’ve never known anything so heartbreakingly difficult, but yet can be so rewarding and feels like a gift.” Our caregiving role is a difficult gift that has been given to us. So often I...

Holiday Healing: Stop the Games, But Form a Team

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined us for the second part of our discussion on healing family rifts. Our discussion focused on spending time during the holidays with those who just seem to push our buttons. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post.) Some suggestions to keep in mind: 1. Just let your family “be” rather than expecting them to be who you think they...

Dusk

With the sun setting so early these days, you may feel like you spend most of your day in the dark. And, that seems to reflect how you feel about your life: You’re just in the dark. Know this: Dusk brings dawn. Your dark hours will lead you to lightness, wisdom and knowledge. Your sun will shine again. And, it will shine brighter than you could ever imagine.  Dusk will bring your dawn, a beautiful bounty of...

What IT looks like 2 years later

My husband and I ventured out to see his neurosurgeon again last week. It’s a two-hour drive for us, so we joke that we should move closer to the hospital to save gas. The trip was to re-evaluate the setting on Chad’s shunt. We did, as we suspected, have to go down to the final setting. None of us are optimistic that the lower setting will help him feel better. It’s been a few days and he still...

Family Day

I spent some time with both of my parents today – it was ‘family day’ at the memory care home where my dad lives. It was interesting to see probably five times the number of people there as usual (there was free food). Actually, all of the commotion got on my nerves – I guided us back to the sanctity of dad’s room, counter to the activity at hand! Mom has had some challenges this...

Balancing the Happiness Scale

Results of a new study say that your care recipient prefers you as the caregiver over a trained professional. Your care recipient is happiest when a family member provides care. But, you already know that. You know that because of the resistance you receive when you try to bring in professional help. This study was interesting to me because of the perspective it took. The study asked the question of care...

Senators to Begin Debating Health Care Reform; How It Affects You

Meg Cooch, MPP, director of programs and operations for National Alliance for Caregiving, provided the following update about legislation that would impact family caregivers. If you support this legislation, contact your Senators as soon as possible to ask for their support. We’ll provide updates as we receive. LEGISLATIVE UPDATE – S. 3590, Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act The Senate voted...

Talk Show Round-Up

It was a busy week on Your Caregiving Journey! On Wednesday morning, Chirag Patel from Halo Monitoring took us into the future, telling us know about emerging technology that can help family caregivers. We learned that Best Buy is pilot-testing a section of stores in Seattle devoted to health gadgets. This to me is wonderful news because of its potential: Imagine! You don’t have to wonder where to buy a...

Ask Denise: How Do I Hire Home Care Workers?

Dear Denise, I’ve hired a few women (recommended by friends) to help care for my mother-in-law, who lives with us. My mother-in-law’s care needs are intensifying, so I’m thinking of hiring home care workers through an agency. Any suggestions? One the women I’ve hired is loving and trustworthy, but spends a lot of time on her cell phone. I’m worried she’s not providing the care...

Up in the AIR

Last week I wrote how my Caregiving “CAREER” started and I wanted to continue with that, but I’m having a personal crisis here. In between caring for my Granny and caring for my dad was the worst time of my life, when I hit the bottom. Those years were my drug years, the years raising my stepchildren and many years of all sorts of abuse. All that made me what I am today, got me to where I am...