Bah Humbug? A True Tale of Christmas

For some reason, we believe the best time of the year should be the holiday season: When we enjoy friends and families, receive wonderful presents, eat amazing food without gaining any weight.

Sounds like a Christmas tale, doesn’t it? It seems expectations imposed on us—from advertising on television, in department stores—that the holiday season is full of love, joy and diamond bracelets.

But, what about the brother who questions your motives in caring for your mother? Or, your spouse who is so angry at his diagnosis that he barks at your every move? Are these the other diamonds of the holiday season?

So, let’s face it: The holidays don’t change our every-day circumstances. And, maybe they’re not supposed it.

Maybe the holidays should just be about embracing what we have, rather than yearning for what we perceive we can’t have. Maybe the holidays should be about reflecting on our true blessings (and each and every one us have true blessings!). Maybe that’s really what we celebrate.

So, this year, think about your holiday traditions. Do they celebrate your blessings? Do they honor you and your needs? If your traditions overwhelm and frustrate you, then it’s time for a look-see. Look at your traditions: What can you revise and adjust to meet your life as it is today? Consider:

1. Do you enjoy cooking a large meal? If you do, great. If you don’t and only do it because others expect it, then scale back to a meal that’s doable for you. Assign side dishes and desserts to other family members and friends. And, you can skip the good china if you’d like.

2. Do you need to buy presents for everyone? Sometimes, presents from the heart are much better than presents from Macy’s. How about Christmas cards for your immediate family and close friends that contain thoughts from your heart–what you admire about them, what memories of them you cherish, what you hope for them. You’ll save time and money–but still give a great gift.

3. Does your house need to be adorned from floor to ceiling? Maybe a small tree in the living room will do–one that can be easily decorated and enjoyed by you and your care recipient.

4. What do you want from this holiday season? Peace and quiet? A truce between your children? A day off? Ask for it—and then make it happen.

5. Do you have a wish, a hope, a dream? Write it down, then create an action plan to make your dream a reality. This may be a great exercise for a special evening, like New Year’s Eve.

This holiday, give yourself a great gift; leave yourself off the hook for creating a perfect holiday. Your diamond comes in the form of giving to yourself.

• Keep Your Cool

• The Chocolate’s Okay, But I Melted

• Holiday Stress Busters

• Ten Signs an Aging Relative Needs Help

• Take Our Button-Pushing Test

• Your Wish List

• What Do You Want?

• Bah Humbug? A True Tale of Christmas

• Listen to Managing Your Holiday Stress teleclass (Before listening, a little homework for you: What do you dread about the holiday season? What’s one wish you have for yourself? One wish you have for your care recipient?)

• Tell Us: What do you hate about the holidays?