Pride

Pride: It’s one of our blessings and our curses. You can feel so proud of all that you do and have done. You stayed when it was easy to run; you pushed when it was easy to back down; you believed when it was easy to doubt. But, pride can keep you from getting help, finding support, trying solutions. Too much pride can leave you too alone. As with all things, keep your pride in check. Be proud but be open.

Update on Key Legislation Affecting Family Caregivers of Vets

Update (11/20): On November 19, after much deliberation and continued closed door negotiation, the Senate passed S. 1963, the Caregivers and Veterans Omnibus Health Services Act of 2009 (see below) in the evening by a voice vote of 98-0.  No changes were made to the bill prior to its passage.  The bill has been referred to the House Committee on Veterans Affairs; action is not expected until after Christmas....

When Bombs Drop (and They Will)…

Many years ago, a member of one of our online support groups regularly reminded the group members: Life is for the living. In caregiving, you sometimes feel stuck between life and death. How do you go about life when death and decline won’t go away? Last night, during The History Channel’s “WWII in HD,” we saw how Londoners managed life during WWII, when bombings became a normal part of living. The Blitz...

Caregiver Forever?

I believe that my caregiving role began at birth. When I was born in 1958, my paternal grandmother lived with my parents. I had three siblings, a half sister 12 years older than me, a brother 6 years older than me and a sister only 2 years older than me. My dad worked in a local paper factory and my mom was a homemaker/caregiver. In that year my granny, as we called her, was 73 years old. My granny had been in a...

Three Toughest Challenges I Faced as a Caregiver

(Editor’s Note: This is the second of a three-part series written by John Mills, who we call a Godspeed Caregiver. In this series, John Mills discusses caring for his father and his decision after his role ended to launch a business, eCare Diary, to help family caregivers.) Becoming a caregiver is an unplanned experience since we never know when or where it will occur.  It creates many challenges in terms of...

Failure Fear

Fellow caregivers, I was recently blessed to remain employed with my current employer as a role was found for me two days before my last day.  Although this is normal course of business where I work, having the added caregiving dimension made it interesting, to say the least.  Actually, I believe this was merely a test of faith for me, and I am happy to say that I passed!  There were moments of internal anxiety...

Can You Feel Better?

Yesterday, on Table Talk, we discussed one of the answers you gave to our question: If you could, what would you change about your caregiving situation? (You can listen to our show via the player, at the end of this post.) You said: I would change how I feel about all this–I wish I felt better about caregiving. I wish I could help you feel better, but I do want to help you NOT FEEL GUILTY about how you feel....

Live Who You Are So You Die As You Were

Image by dsb nola via Flickr Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, we spoke with Wilma Naschin, who shared tips on how to rebound from a lay-off. (This is the first of a three-part series on recovering from job loss; up next week: Starting Your Job Search. You can listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post.) During our discussion, I remembered the story of a friend’s father, James. James...

The First-Ever Cancer Caregiver Day!

(Editor’s Note: On a regular basis, we invite healthcare professionals and family caregivers to write a guest blog. We asked Ashley Varner, MSW, MBA, senior director/caregiving programs for Cancer Support Community to share information about Cancer Caregiver Day, November 16.) When a person you care about is diagnosed with cancer, you, your family, and your friends may be thrown into a state of disbelief. It is a...

Caring for a Loved One with Heart Failure?

Are you over 60 and caring for a loved one with heart failure? Please, tell us about your experience and earn $50! The Oregon Center for Applied Science is developing a DVD to help seniors who care for a senior who has heart failure.  To do a good job with this, the staff is interviewing caregivers about how to make their lives easier. Expect the interview to last an hour. Your input may help other caregivers take...

Celebrate

In a world full of caregiving, the celebrations may seem few and far between. A family member isn’t doing well, so it may seem that celebrations just aren’t appropriate. It’s actually a perfect time to celebrate. A disease or illness will rob you and your family of so much–don’t let it rob you of celebrations. Celebrate that you can still laugh, that you can know joy, that blessings...

This Saturday on Table Talk: What Would You Change?

Saturday at 10 a.m. CT, we meet again for another edition of Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey. This week, we’re discussing your answers to this question: If you could change one thing about your caregiving situation, what would that be? In preparation for our talk, we’d love for you to take the quick poll, below. And, if you’d like to be a guest on the show to discuss your thoughts, send me...

Out of the Mouths of Babes

On Wednesday mornings I help my daughter-in-law by helping with two of my grandaughters’ homeschooling. Today when I was helping with home schooling the girls sang a Scripture song they are learning for their Bible class. It was based on the Scripture passage in Jeremiah 29:11 which tells us that God has good plans for our lives and wants to give us hope and a future. I asked them, “Is this true...

Technology Today

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, Chris Otto and Chirag Patel from Halo Monitoring joined us live from American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging’s annual conference. Chris and Chirag’s product (myHalo) is part of the Idea House, which is on display at the conference. The house features the best in universal design and technologies for older adults and family caregivers. Chirag lives in Chicago,...

Quick Tips: Veteran’s Day

Happy Veteran’s Day! Two quick tips for your day: 1. Use today to gain insight about your care recipient As with all holidays, Veteran’s Day offers the opportunity to gain a perspective on your care recipient’s life history and personal experiences. Take time to day to ask questions about your care recipients’ war experiences (regardless of whether they served). You’ll be amazed at...

Ask Denise: Why Wouldn’t She Just Tell Me?

Dear Denise, First of all, thank you for your blog. I have found it very enlightening and uplifting during this hard time. My father was recently placed in the local VA Home – without my knowledge.  I live in the same town as my parents, who have been married for 50 years. My mother came to me and my husband to inform me that she had put my dad in the home.  I completely understand her motive, but I wish she...

New Blogger Introduction – Derek

Hello All, Well I am honored to be adding my thoughts and experiences to this wonderful website from which I’ve drawn enlightenment, reassurance, and belonging during one of the most challenging seasons of my life.  I’ve never blogged before, nor have I really followed a blog - so  please handle with care! I’m copy/pasting my introduction email below - it explains my situation and seems...

Today’s Table Talk: Family Versus Solo

On today’s Table Talk, we tackled this question: Is it harder to be family caregiver with siblings or harder to go it alone? (You can listen to the show via the player at the end of the post.) I shared feedback from our online support groups who weighed in with their thoughts. I also shared a few insights: –Even if your siblings or other family members drive you nuts, they share your personal history....

Empathy

Empathy: Identification with and understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives. Source: Dictionary.com Because you care, you have the ability to feel for your care recipient; you are empathetic to your care recipient’s pain, mourning, frustration and fear. You feel your care recipient’s longing for a life without an illness or disability, the longing for a life that’s full of...

Alzheimer’s From the View of a Teenager

November, in addition to honoring family caregivers, also brings awareness to Alzheimer’s disease. In honor of Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, Alzheimer’s Daily News featured a video in today’s newsletter that caught my eye. The video, “My Name is Lisa,” is a short, fictional film featuring the perspective of a 13-year-old girl. The film won numerous awards including Best...

President Obama Declares November National Family Caregivers Month

(Editor’s Note: The White House Office of the Press Secretary issued the following proclamation on Oct. 30.) BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA A PROCLAMATION The true strength of the American family finds its roots in an unwavering commitment to care for one another. In difficult times, Americans come together to ensure our loved ones are comfortable and safe. Whether caring for a parent,...

Long-Distance Caregivers Needed for Research Study

The Health Communication Master’s of Science Program at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., is conducting a research study that examines interpersonal communication patterns of people who have provided unpaid long-distance care to an individual who is age 55 or older in the past year. The purpose of this study is to learn more about your interactions and experiences as a distant caregiver. Volunteers are needed...