Spread Joy/Spread Laughter

Donna with her aunt and her son.

My Aunt passed away April 26, 2006, and I feel like it was just yesterday.

Aunt Hilda had the best attitude of anyone I have ever known. She had a very difficult life at times but if you met her on the street you would never know. Throughout her lifetime she probably had surgeries on every part of her body from head to toe at one time or another. God challenged her with lots of parts that gave her problems.

She loved my Uncle very much. They could never have children, one of the flaws in Gods creation. I suppose in a way that was good because that love of her life left her after being married almost 20 years for someone he met at work. She bounced back after a while and that face still found light somehow.

My Aunt’s brother had a two-family house and that is where they lived for many years. My Uncle (her brother) passed away and a few years later so did his wife and their children, my cousins, decided to sell the house and My Aunt then lost her home. That crushed her terribly as she loved all her nieces and nephews and now they were taking her home away.

Without a doubt in our soul, my husband and I opened our home to her. A part of her died leaving that beautiful three-room apartment. She had a place for everything and it was always in its place. It was most definately company ready at all times. She always had a stocked refrigerator just waiting for someone to pop in.

Everyone loved my Aunt Hilda so much. Had you just met her you would have felt you knew her all your life. Five months after moving in with us she was diagnosed with leukemia. Despite another fight  she kept that huge smile on her face. I know it was really more for the rest of us than for herself.

Her last holiday was spent in the leukemia ward of Northshore Community Hospital. We brought Bostan Market dinners, grocery store pies, balloons, presents. We actually looked like the circus walking into the hospital. We enjoyed a wonderful afternoon of laughter and love in the lounge. The staff came in and shared Miss Hildas treats.

While we all knew this would be her last holiday we didn’t think about it. We did not care that we were in a hospital…we did not care about the food…we did not care about the cafeteria coffee or the plastic forks.

My perfect Aunt who would have had a fit in her younger days if we ever used a paper plate for dessert on a holiday surrendered with her huge smile. She at that moment like I realized that this would be the best holiday she ever had in her life.

It’s about the joy, it’s about the laughter…it’s not about the stuff and the menu. She passed away ten days later. The last two nights I stayed 24 hours with her and on the first night I was sitting on one chair with my legs resting on another and she just rubbed my head and when I told her not to worry about me she told me with her huge smile that she would always worry about me. She told me better days were coming honey.

The morning after she slipped into a coma and I then whispered it was ok for her to leave me..I would be ok. I thanked her so much as she was such a tremendous gift to me. I promised her that I would always keep her alive down here. I will spread the joy and laughter and while I won’t be able to do it nearly as well I will give it my best shot.

She taught me it is our mindset and we all have the ability to choose peace or be upset. She showed me peace made so much more sense. Don’t fight what you can’t change. This was three years ago and the gift has stayed in my heart every day.

During this stressful time of year remember please that we don’t always have to receive the little box with the huge bow…gifts come in many ways. Lets forget the hustle and bustle and instead spread joy, spread laughter.

I love you Aunt Hilda. Happy Holidays..I know God has you coordinating up there…I noticed I can’t find your pineapple upside down recipe..I’ve been searching since you left…I know..you were afraid I would make it better…no worries…you were the best baker I ever met…you were the best person I ever met…and I’m down here spreading joy and laughter despite my missing you!! I will never forget the joy, the laughter, Easter 2006.