On today’s Table Talk, we tackled this question: Is it harder to be family caregiver with siblings or harder to go it alone? (You can listen to the show via the player at the end of the post.)
I shared feedback from our online support groups who weighed in with their thoughts. I also shared a few insights:
–Even if your siblings or other family members drive you nuts, they share your personal history. It can be comforting to have someone in your life who understands your care recipient’s “quirks.”
–It can be hard to be the only one simply because the spotlight is always on you. It’s always you.
–Too many cooks do spoil the caregiving. It can frustrating to explain the why’s, how’s and when’s of your decisions to those who aren’t as intimately involved as you.
–The pain of trying to understand why some family won’t help can be overwhelming.
We then explored a cautionary tale of “swooping” family members (uninvolved family who become too involved) with Deanna, a member of one of our support groups. To protect yourself (and your care recipient) from family members who jump to conclusions because they can’t or won’t understand a care recipient’s disease and disease process, please keep in mind the following tips:
1. Keep a journal that documents your care recipient’s care needs, physician appointments (what did the doctor recommend?), treatments (what worked, what didn’t, what the doctor recommended), difficult behaviors, prescriptions (included purpose and expected side effects), meal likes and dislikes, and care plan (home health aides, adult day centers, etc.)
2. Document all moneys spent (yours and your care recipient’s) on your care recipient’s care.
3. Track the calls you’ve made to find help in your community. Detail the results of the calls and your search for help.
I think our discussion details what you already know: Caregiving is just hard.
(Next up on Table Talk, Saturday, November 14 at Noon CT: Change is the constant in caregiving. But, you may feel like you can’t change anything. If you could, what would you change about caregiving? Would you like be a guest and share your story? Send Denise an email. Our guests receive a Kiss a Caregiver Day t-shirt.)
