It’s becoming one of my favorite words: Forgiveness. On today’s Your Caregiving Journey, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, author of “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness,” shared the hows and whys of forgivness, all the time reinforcing the truth of forgiveness: It’s the best gift we give ourselves. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post.)
So, a few tips to help as you begin to embrace forgiveness as part of each and every day:
Holding a grudge really only hurts you. It also keeps you in your past. When you forgive, you move yourself into your future, where options, solutions and opportunities live.
Keep in mind: Everyone is doing their best. Believing this helps you view others with compassion. The opposite (“He or she really should be doing better”) passes judgement. When we judge others, we really only judge ourselves.
Stay in a state of gratitude and appreciation for others. When you focus on the positives, you can more easily forgive.
Consider creating a “Rules of Engagement” for those with whom you share an intimate relationship, including your care recipient, if appropriate. Determine how you’ll both handle tense times, stressful moments, impatient comments, hurtful remarks. And, agree on the words you’ll both use to set boundaries and the actions you’ll take when boundaries are over-stepped.
Forgive yourself for your own perceived imperfections. When you regret an action or a conversation or a reaction, consider: How will you do better next time? Then, focus on doing just that.
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