Happy Holidays to everybody, I hope everyone is perhaps having the gift of having a little time for themselves, amidst all the caregiving that we are being responsible for. The community college at which I work is closed this week between the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.
And I am making it a “time-out” period for me. Little self-indulgences, in between checking in on and doing for mom, for instance sleeping in a bit, going shopping, checking out Borders Bookstore with a gift certificate present I received, doing some cooking, relaxing on the couch. Especially since I started my grad program and finished my so-consuming first course this fall (A-…yeehah!), I need this.
Also, it seems I also have a benignly enlarged prostate condition that has been causing me some discomfort — and in addition, my boss has been giving me some grief about unlucky periods I’ve needed away from the office the past several weeks, above and beyond my own chronic health problems and mom caregiving responsibilities, due to one problem after another that I’d been experiencing with my aging car.
I need that thing to work right, or I cannot be responsive to my mom, and related and other errands, which is vital. I put in 110% with my work, mentally and physically, both in and out of the office, remaining e-connected even when I’m not there.
If I’m wrong, I will admit it, apologize, and try harder. But if someone is going to harass me for the basic dignity of being able to juggle my health, caregiving and work responsibilities very well, I am going to speak up.
I was reminded by my work’s compliance personnel — and, in fact, from the strategic human resources management grad course I just finished, that since I already have medical documentation supporting my own chronic diverticulosis and related health problems, and I am my mom’s primary caregiver, that in and of itself is doing enough. When we caregivers are also working professionals, and we are doing our jobs, our workplaces’ accommodation of our needing to take care of sometimes inevitable real-life issues outside of work is not a reward they give us, it is our legal right.
It’s just that many people feel too cavalier, intimidated or embarrassed to stand up for this right. …………..After all I do for others and my mom?–That’s damned well not going to happen to me, because I will not permit it. So I requested updated doctor medical documentation correspondence, and, once again, filed this with my manager, my HR office, and my own records.
Caregivers and the chronically ill have real-life things that happen to them that can’t always be scheduled outside of work time, too, although we may try our hardest to do this, just like our non-caregiving or -chronically ill work colleagues – car problems, dental appointments, home repair calls, etc. — and it is inappropriate for us to be evaluated differently, targeted, or singled out because such inadvertent interruptions of ours, sometimes on top of our own health and caregiving responsibilities, might make these additional delays or off-work absences “stand out more” to the uniformed or apathetic. We all have to remember that caregiving resides just not in what we try to do to the best of our abilities for our caregiven and to our works, but also to and for ourselves.
On that note, let’s all collectively cross our fingers arm-in-arm, and wish one another the hopefully best, healthiest, happiest, and luckiest of everything for the new year, and the new decade (yaye!), beginning shortly with 2010!
Peace for now! Gary 
Hi Gary! Congrats on your A!!! That’s awesome.
Several years, during a seminar, a family caregiver talked about her worry about her car, because without her car, she couldn’t do what’s critical for her mom. It’s funny how these things which we once thought important now become an absolute necessity. And, if we don’t take care of them, well, two people are in a tough bind.
So, good for you! I like how you were proactive about your situation and how you did not let guilt tempt you to do otherwise.
Happy New Year! I hope 2010 is all that you want because it’s all that you deserve.