Comments on: Our Blogs

By: Denise

Denise — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:06:58 +0000

Hi Maggie–I’m glad you reached out. Please contact your local Area Agency on Aging and ask for help. You can find the agency nearest you by searching here: http://www.eldercare.gov/Elder...../Home.aspx.

Please keep us posted.

By: maggie

maggie — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 22:14:18 +0000

i am maggie. i take care of my husband jim. i have cared for him for 15 yrs. he has early onset parkinson disease. jim has been an emotionally abusive spouse. the abuse began even before we married 38 years ago.. his abusive behavior has been championed by his family. he is using the name paranoid schizophrenic as a new name for me.
i became disabled two years ago. now his disability continues to worsen. i have little help in caring for him and once in a while i get a little bit of help from our children.

i know that there is a lot of advice out there. I know because I was an RN before becoming diabled. seriously now that I need help; i have no idea what to do

By: Teresa

Teresa — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 04:33:47 +0000

Annie, No, your not alone. I am 57 and my Mom, age 78, had a stroke 4 years ago. She also was very independent, working an outside job full-time raising 5 children all her life. Dad passed on in 1993 with lung cancer. Mom is also a diabetic on insulin 3 times a day. Since her stroke, she requires 24/7 care. My wonderful husband, and my only support, moved her into our home, put our lives on hold, to make sure she had the best care for the rest of her life. My older brother, age 58, does not help in her care, nor does he call to even check on her or to ask if there is anything he can do to help. My younger sister, age 50, has a drinking and drug problem, which my Mom does not need to deal with, and my younger brother, age 51, lives in Florida, and chooses not to contribute to Mom’s care either. The other younger brother died in 2006, the same year as Mom’s stroke. They all act as if she is already dead.
If it wasn’t for my husband and I, Mom would have been placed in a nursing facility, and would have withered away by now. The care we have given her is so rewarding, but I also get down right mad that my siblings don’t remember that she is their Mom too and all that she did for them when they needed it. I have never forgotten and know that some day we will be rewarded for the love we gave our Mom. All my strength, I got from my Mom. I truly believe caregivers are angels from heaven.
Wishing you and your husband the best.
Teresa

By: Don

Don — Thu, 13 May 2010 17:00:15 +0000

DJ,
Hi

Your sentence about 7 children to care for their mother actually, in a strange way, makes me feel a little better.

As much work as the caretaking is, it is almost like you are not doing it alone. I don’t know.

Don

By: D J

D J — Wed, 12 May 2010 00:22:29 +0000

Anne, my prayers are with you. My mother had a stroke in 2008 and was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2009. Believe me, you are not alone and I can relate. I have a younger
brother that will call every now and then to check on mom. I have an older brother that will call without being reminded to do so.
My sister and I are the primary caregivers of my mother. You have heard of the cliché’-out of sight, out of mind. Your brothers know you’re spent. Sometimes we see what we want to see. I’m praying that the LORD will give you strength and patience. Hang in there Anne!
D J´s last blog ..Rainy Day Feelings

By: D J

D J — Tue, 11 May 2010 21:35:29 +0000

I’ve been a caregiver for over a year now. I can say that this job has been the most difficult and rewarding job. I retired from teaching in Dec. 2008. To be honest, I resent leaving, but in life things never really go as planned. The cliché’ if you want to make God laugh, make plans.
I am one of the primary caregivers for my mother. My father died a year ago from cancer (2009). My mother had a stroke in March 2008 and was later diagnosed with Parkinson’s. It definitely has not been easy. I look forward to my days off. My sisters and I take turns caring for my mother. My pray is to ask Christ for strength, love and patience!
My days are bright when my mom can recall details or events. Even though my mom has had a stroke she still remembers some things. My mother will ask why she is sick and when will things change. I told my mother that I don’t know why, but we know Christ is still on HIS’ throne. I told her that we will at understand it better by and by. It’s funny, I read that a caregiver stated that it takes 1 mother to take care of 7 children, but it takes 7 children to care for their mother.
D J´s last blog ..Rainy Day Feelings

By: Don

Don — Tue, 11 May 2010 16:05:10 +0000

Hello
I think it also helps with Mom’s memory. AND makes her feel good too remembering way back when – which – makes me feel better that we have that connection again for a little while.

Am also going to take the information and put it together for my kids so they know, not only their grandmother a bit better, also their own ancestry.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 05 May 2010 13:19:59 +0000

Hi Bette: thank you for the reply. My wife and I do try to find time to get out together but it has been very difficult, Unfortunately we have just lost our in home caregiver that has been picking up my mother in law from daycare and bringing her home so I really understand your comment about “getting acquainted.” I also appreciate your comment about crying in the parking lot….I sit in the driveway before going in the house and just try to take a deep breath before going in. My house is just stressed all too often. Oh well, our cross to bear right????? I will keep reading and replying as the bventing defineitely helps. Thanks again.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Wed, 05 May 2010 13:16:00 +0000

Thank you for replying Denise. THis morning was another stressful time in the house. It is hard enough to get the kids and oursleves ready to leave for work/school and then the added stress of getting the caree ready adds to that. We are going to a doctors appointment with her today and see what we can do to help. My mother in law is now in the stage of making faces at all of us when we ask her to do things and even grunting at us. While it is someitmes comical I don;t think my 13 year old daughter understands this. I will listen to your show later today. Thanks again.

By: Bette

Bette — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:15:20 +0000

Hi Glen,

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I remember when my mother first came to live with us, she was having some pretty serious cognitive challenges. I would take the kids to school and just sit in the parking lot and cry–not wanting to return home…Home is suppose to be our place of respite–as much as it can be amongst caregiving. I urge you to try and plan a night or two a month out with your wife. Even if it involves some pretty intense planning to get it. It will be worth it though. My husband and I have just recently been trying to do this and it is a good thing. Hard to come back into it all, at times, but you can look forward to the next time. (: We use a Home Health Agency in our area called Home Instead. We can use them for times when my mother cannot be alone or needs to go to the doctor, dentist, etc. Sometimes, our times out involve finding care for the kids too, all worth it. It’s hard to have strangers in and out of the house, but the value for me outweighs the “getting aquainted” part of extra help. Take Care and it is important to vent. I am glad you found caregiving.com.