Comments on: Our Blogs

By: jillian

jillian — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:32:09 +0000

hi , I cared for my dad who had cancer for two years , and now I am here with mom everyday cuz she can’t live alone anymore and I want this part of her life to be the best it can be. I really relate to your feelings about your siblings . I don’t get much help at all and I don’t get any recognition either. I don’t want to end up bitter and resentful any tips on how to not brood about the other kids not helping

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:14:35 +0000

Hi Roberta, Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I know others will have suggestions for you.

One thought: In addition to your visits and your phone calls, can you also send your mom cards and letters? It might help both of you to know she has visible reminders of your love and support.

I think many struggle to balance the weight of caregiving with the need to continue living your life. You can check with the Area Agency on Aging in NYC about local support groups for family caregivers; here’s the organization’s website: http://www.nyc.gov/html/dfta/html/home/home.shtml

The agency also may have counselors available to help. You also can hire a life coach–I’m one and coach family caregivers on a variety of issues, including how to balance caregiving and life and let go of guilt. You can send me an email (denise@caregiving.com) if you’d like to schedule a free session to see if coaching is right for you.

Please continue to stop by and share.

By: Roberta

Roberta — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:36:51 +0000

I have been taking care of my mom for almost 5 years since the love of her life, her second husband died. She has kind of been a lost soul since then and had been living in their same apartment for 30 years. I had arranged to get Medicaid for her so she has home health care workers but she was all alone at night, no staff at her senior apt. complex.

In August I moved her to an independent living facility which is beautiful and provides 24 hour staff so that if she needs someone at night, she just pushes a button and they come. But she is very lonely and starting to forget things, which at her tender age of 97, is not surprising.

She has two terrific health care workers who are there 8 hours a day and she is still able to be on her own at night.

I am struggling with a fear of losing her and a guilt about moving her away from what was familiar and also that I can’t visit her more since she lives in CT and I live in NYC.

She forgets that I call and come twice a month and has told her aide that I don’t care about her and that I am spoiled. I told the aide not to tell me those things. But she says things like to “just drop her in a box”.

I have no siblings but many close friends who are very, very supportive, calling, giving advice and encouragement. What would I do without those friends.

I am pretty strong, optimistic, still working and active in the theater, acting. Since I moved her I have been trying to get back to my own ife, which is a very active one but the responsibility of being on my own with her welfare in my hands is quite daunting.

Can anyone suggest any source of help. I’m not religious and kind of depend on myself and friends for guidance.

Love to hear from you.

Roberta

By: Ruth

Ruth — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 10:21:10 +0000

Hi…I’m a 70 and care for my husband who is end stage renal disease and has been on dialysis for the last three years. He is getting harder to handle and falls easily. It has been the test of my life to be able to do this. Amazingly, I am doing a good job.

By: Kelly Jaramillo

Kelly Jaramillo — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 17:03:20 +0000

Hello,
My mother and I took care of my grandmother in her end of life journey. Its very hard to loose yourself in the daily tasks that are required of you by the person you are caring for. As hard as it is to step away for even a little bit its something you have to do to give yourself a break so that you can continue to care for the person you’re helping. I really great resource I found was a book called Peaceful Passage. It gives insite to utilizing hospice and their volunteers, ways to care for yourself and for your loved one. It really helped us as we cared for my grandmother.

By: Laura Arnold

Laura Arnold — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:32:30 +0000

It is so good to have this site. My friend with Primary Progressive Aphasia with dementia changes daily. He wants and says something one day and the next day he doesn’t remember saying or doing any of it. So, I now let that day go and remind myself today is a new day. When he goes on a rampage, I keep my patience by repeating myself “peace, peace, peace” I will not get any peace from him, but I know I get my peace from God.

By: Laura Arnold

Laura Arnold — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 21:57:56 +0000

I was listening to Holly and she was telling us how she is keeping Christmas simple. I have done the same. I put out my Christmas Teddy bears. I work at our Church thrift shop once or twice a month and picked up stocking stuffers. I am less stressed and I also going to watch what I eat and not have junk in the house, I call it red light food, if it is not here I won’t eat it. I now can spend time without all the hassle helping my friend with dementia. Merry Christmas to all the caregivers.

By: Hill Country Care Providers

Hill Country Care Providers — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:40:09 +0000

Howdy from central Texas! We at Hill Country Care Providers (http://hillcountrycareproviders.com) are looking to find some like-minded companies and individuals across the country to confer with regarding eldercare, in-home geriatric practices, and with whom to simply share general health tips. We’re all in this together–competition, borders, and profit margins all seem rather insignificant when you consider the people whose well-being is at stake. Happy Holidays–and keep on keepin’ on!

Also, three cheers to CareGiving.com for organizing the Holiday Progressive Blog Party! What a great idea to bring people together.

By: donna ryan

donna ryan — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:39:29 +0000

you know what i tell myself…she had 91 wonderful years…i am 51 and deserve a little bit of a life as well…im a good daughter for opening my home as are you…..
today i left her for two hours….i went to the library and then for a pedicure and to duncan donuts for an iced coffee…i brought her back donuts as a treat….but i left for a little while…we dont go on vacations as I cant leave her for that long. I jsut cant pick up and go…I can however leave for a while and do something for me. Mom was very quiet when I returned but I just chatted with her…I made coffee and asked her what kind of donut she wanted…her being quiet is not my fault….dont feel guilty….your doing everything right…..

By: Denise

Denise — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 20:12:32 +0000

Hi Caroll–We’ve got several articles about guilt and a few talk shows; you can view them here: http://www.caregiving.com/tag/guilt/

Your mom is in good hands. You deserve the time to relax and enjoy. How would you like to spend the evening?