Caregiver of the Year Award Winner: Pamela Welky Paul, Studio City, Calif.

Care recipient: Brooks, Pam’s 18-year-old son who has cancer Nominated by: Lynda Kerwin, a colleague of Pam’s (Read the nominating letter.) In her words: When I feel stressed, I: When I feel stressed I force myself to take a nap. This usually occurs between 1 and 3 p.m. If my son has a friend over, all the better. If he’s alone, I’ll lie beside him and doze. I attribute most of my physical...

What Rules You?

I give the idea of “rules” regular thought. (You can read my previous post, “Write Your Self-Care Rule,” here.) We often create a set of thoughts or beliefs, which become rules, as a way to make sense of our world. Often, we live by rules without realizing the power of these rules to hold us back. Particularly in a caregiving situation, rules can become our day’s guide, dictating how...

Charge

What a great word! It brings to mind awesome actions. You can take charge. You can charge it. You can re-charge. –Take charge. This week, commit your attention to a situation, relationship or issue that you’ve put to the side. Solve it, love it or move from it, whatever it needs. Take charge. –Charge it. This week, budget to buy what you need: Regular help, a massage, a summer vacation, a Saturday...

Introduction

I’m a single Mom, late-bloomer, introvert and about 60. I live in St. Louis, Missouri. I am planning on retiring in spring of 2010 after 30 years as a computer programmer. My hobbies are reading, genealogy, reading, fractal art, reading and gardening. Did I mention reading? At the moment (January of 2010), I am thinking about caring for my mother in my home. I have two children, a son, a daughter at home, and...

Should She Have Dental Work Done?

Just adding a post to show how there are always decisions to be made. Mum broke one of her canines in the week between Christmas and New Year’s. (It amazes me how things always happen during that week! One year we had to rush mum to get a blood transfusion during that week!) We finally were able to see the dentist this past week and he suggested a root canal and a cap. This is because mum’s molars...

When You Want to Walk, How to Stay

This week, we took a closer look at a situation that’s common but sometimes not shared. We asked: When do you wish for the pink slip from caregiving? Today, on Table Talk, we tackled some of the top reasons you may feel like walking and then offered some suggestions we hope makes it easier to stay. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.) Reason to walk: I’m tired and...

Feed the Passion You Hunger for

This morning, Anna Stookey, a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills specializing in health and wellness issues, joined us for her discussion about emotional eating. In caregiving, you can feel like you eat for two—you and your stress. It can seem so easy to reach for the Oreos, especially when it seems the Oreo offers just what you think you need. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this...

Friday Fun: Give Us the Guffaws

It’s Friday, so let’s share some funnies. What’s a humorous experience that’s happened to you in your caregiving role? It could be something that happened years ago or just yesterday, as long as today it makes you giggle. We’ll giggle with you. Please share in our comments section. And, we’ll give away a $25 Visa gift card to someone who shares a funny. (Reminder: What’s bugging you? At 3:30 p.m....

Spirit Jump and Cards 4 Cancer

Hi Everyone, Long time no see.  Mom and I are doing well, mom is surviving the cold, has not been sick at all this winter.  What a blessing for me.  She hasn’t even had a cold.  I am so happy. Some exciting news from me, I get to take a mini vacation with my boys.  On February 10, my boys and I will be driving to San Diego and staying there for 3 nights!! Woo Hoo! The boys dad works for the Hampton Hotel...

Tell Us: When Do You Wish for a Pink Slip?

You plow through the days, doing your best to stay positive, strong, smiling. But, some days, well, you just find yourself wishing for a pink slip. If only you could just walk away from your caregiving role, you think, life would be so much better. And, worse, the wish to walk weighs heavily on your heart. You feel like the worst person in the world. But, every family caregiver, at least once, has hoped to be let...

Got a Beef? Share at the White House Blog

Every day this week, the Obama Administration will share a “year in review” blog post from a senior advisor, followed up by an afternoon online video chat. Tomorrow (Wednesday, Jan. 13) at 12 p.m. EST, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius will discuss Health Reform. To join the discussion or to learn more, please visit here. Related articles President Obama and Faith Leaders Discuss Health Reform on...

Say It

Regrets. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live a life of minimal regrets? Often, the regrets are about the “not’s”, not verbalizing our feelings to those most important in our lives. We may stay silent out of fear, which often gets our tongue (beating out the cat). We may be afraid that our feelings aren’t reciprocated. Or, we may be afraid to show emotion. We may be afraid we won’t...

January 10

(Editor’s Note: Today, we welcome a new family caregiver to our family. Dilys shares her days with as she cares for her mother (“Mum”).) A typical weekend morning: I woke up at 8 a.m. I felt like sleeping more but I always feel like I have to get up and justify my existence. So I got up, made coffee, fed the cats and dog, and had my breakfast. Then the weekend aid came out of mum’s bedroom...

In or Out? on the Bad Days of Caregiving

Image by Industry Is Virtue via Flickr Liz has a debate going on in her head and a torment going on in her heart. It’s been a bad day. And, not for any particular reason that Liz can pinpoint. It could be that her youngest will turn 10 soon. Or that next week her mom will be living with them for three years. Or that her husband will leave for another week-long business trip in a few days. Or it could...

Caree It Is!

Caree is our new term, replacing our old term, “care recipient.” Congratulations to Karen Cameron, who suggested the winning term. Karen joined me today on Table Talk; you can listen to our interview via the player at the bottom of this post. (Just a heads-up: Karen and I had a few problems connecting; thanks for your patience as you listen.) Here are the results of our...

Tell Us: What’s Your Big Hairy Audacious Goal for 2010?

“Goals determine what you are going to be.” ~ Julius Irving Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined us for our monthly chat. We focused on setting and making goals and offered suggestions and ideas to help you use goals to create just what you want. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of our post.) Some suggestions to get you going with your...

Making the Most of End-of-Life

This morning, Dr. Daniel Maison, Vice President for Medical Services and Chief Medical Officer at Treasure Coast Hospice, Stuart, Fla., joined us for a discussion about end-of-life decisions on Your Caregiving Journey. (Dr. Maison is also Physician Section Leader for National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization‘s National Council of Hospice and Palliative Professionals and Clinical Assistant Professor at...

Let the Voting Begin: Out With Care Recipient, In With???

Thanks to all who suggested a new term to replace an old term (care recipient). Just as a reminder, here were the guidelines for your suggestions: Suggest a one- or two-word term that means the same as “care recipient.” The term must be easy for me to say and write. (Thank you!!) The term must be general in nature, taking into account that care recipients are spouses, partners, grandparents, friends, aunts,...

Bizarre or Just Heartbreaking?

Denise asked us recently to share our most bizarre care giving experiences. I don’t know if it is bizarre or just heartbreaking, but I helped my husband for the first time today with his bath. We were running late for an appointment, and he asked me to help him. He has a shower bench, and he usually can maneuver himself from his raised toilet seat with handles to his shower bench. Although he has been taking...

Pondering about Priorities

I recently heard someone say: We (human beings) like structure and order. When something does not make sense, we look for and, sometimes create, explanations. So, during times of stress and uncertainty, when nothing makes sense, I wonder: What is life really about? Yesterday, I asked a friend: “Is life about sacrifices? Do we sacrifice so ultimately we can get what we want?” He said: “Absolutely not....

Ask Denise: Can I Get a Stipend for Caregiving?

Dear Denise, I’ve been searching all day for answers and did not find any but I did find your web site. I wish I had found it sooner and had the time to go through it now. I have so many questions it may take a month of Sundays to ask them. Of course that always leads to more. What I am trying to find today is is there any info on a monthly stipend to help take care of elderly disabled parent(s)? My mom had...

The 6 Myths of Caregiving

It’s full of surprises, this caregiving ride. We’ve created a list of six biggest drops (myths) on the caregiving roller coaster. 1. The government has programs, like Medicare, that will off-set the costs of care. Sure, Medicare exists but its benefits for long-term care pay only in the short-term. And, Medicaid helps those whose low-income qualifies them for help. Care falls to the family (and...