Spending so much time with your care recipient may unearth behaviors or situations or habits that are, well, just bizarre. The behaviors may be related to a disease process; the habits, to a way of life. Either way, you keep these to yourself because, well, who you would believe you?
But, the keeping in can keep you feeling shame about a situation undeserving of it. It also keeps you from knowing that most caregiving situations have an element of the bizarre.
So, tell us: What’s the most bizarre part of your caregiving experience?
Bizarre, yes I guess it could be considered that, shocking and surprising, and hurtful for sure. As mom was in the earlier stages of dementia, she would get ticked off at my husband when he would instruct her to do things, like drink her water. Anytime he would be watching her, and I was gone, she absolutely rose up against him in complete mutiny, even to the point of threatening him.
Now, this would seem like perhaps normal behavior of someone dealing with dementia. The shock of it was, she loved my husband like a son, he was more of a son to her then my brothers ever were. But she had alot of bitterness and unforgiveness in her towards different male figures in her life, and in those moments when my husband was “telling” her what to do, she let all the ugliness of those emotions out at him. It took him awhile to get used to it to where it would not hurt him. He finally was able to realize it was not about him at all, and she didn’t even know what she was doing or saying to him, nor did she remember afterwards.
.-= Donna Webb´s last blog ..Christmas Morning 2009 =-.
I guess I just never notived it before. Apparently, Dad has done this for quite some time, long before the dimentia set in. Every morning, as soon as he wakes up, he sings a song. Usually, he chooses “Oh, What A Beautiful Morning” or “Blue Skies”. He just wakes up happy, every morning.
My most bizaare thing is that my mother sometimes thinks that there are two of me. Of course, she does not see us at the same time, but she is convinced that we look alike, have the same name, and are intent on driving her insane. However, she swears that our voices are different, and that is how she can tell that there are two of “us”.
Hi Lavie–Wow–it’s interesting and yet endearing at the same time. It’s interesting that it happens (I wonder what the cause is) and it’s endearing that she’s figured out a solution to what could be a very distressing and frustrating problem. It’s also kinda funny that she views both of you with suspicion–at least she’s not playing favorites.
Thanks for sharing.