Comments on: If I Don’t Do It, Who Will? Transitioning from Daughter to Caregiver http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/ Insights ~ Information ~ Inspirations Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:52:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Donna W http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-28506 Donna W Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:40:32 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-28506 Hi Daniel, I am glad you stumbled in! I am also very glad that you were able to rethink your reason for starting a caregiving business. I do not even like to label it as a business, because it is in fact a service/ministry to people who need help. It starts with the heart, a desire to serve and help others. Unfortunately, too many of these caregiving/hopice organizations, are just that...a business. They are all about the $s and number of clients they can obtain and how good they look on the reports. It ceases to be about the person laying in their bed, unable to care for themselves, perhaps in the final stage of life...or their family. I am speaking from personal experience with a hopice organization. I won't go through anymore details, but I simply would encourage to read what caregivers write concerning their experiences as a caregiver. To know what we deal with emotionally and physically, will helpyou to understand and hopefully have that necessary "heart" ingredient as you put together your caregiving service. Do stop by again Daniel! .-= Donna W´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheBearHugWaltz/~3/6inxW50Kw8o/silent-talking.html" rel="nofollow">Silent Talking</a> =-. Hi Daniel, I am glad you stumbled in! I am also very glad that you were able to rethink your reason for starting a caregiving business. I do not even like to label it as a business, because it is in fact a service/ministry to people who need help. It starts with the heart, a desire to serve and help others. Unfortunately, too many of these caregiving/hopice organizations, are just that…a business. They are all about the $s and number of clients they can obtain and how good they look on the reports. It ceases to be about the person laying in their bed, unable to care for themselves, perhaps in the final stage of life…or their family. I am speaking from personal experience with a hopice organization. I won’t go through anymore details, but I simply would encourage to read what caregivers write concerning their experiences as a caregiver. To know what we deal with emotionally and physically, will helpyou to understand and hopefully have that necessary “heart” ingredient as you put together your caregiving service. Do stop by again Daniel!
.-= Donna W´s last blog ..Silent Talking =-.

]]> By: Daniel http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-28043 Daniel Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:52:27 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-28043 I stumbled on to your story because I have been researching " starting a caregiving business". I want to be the person who takes care of the overhead, scheduling, making sure things are running smoothly, things of that nature. I have always wanted to help people but I have to admit I saw dollar signs when dreaming up this business. Reading your article has brought me back down to real reasons I want to get into this. Its about giving people quality of life. The elderly and their families. I thank you for your article And I will keep a copy of it on my wall to be a reminder of what really matters. God bless you. Daniel Rawson I stumbled on to your story because I have been researching ” starting a caregiving business”. I want to be the person who takes care of the overhead, scheduling, making sure things are running smoothly, things of that nature. I have always wanted to help people but I have to admit I saw dollar signs when dreaming up this business. Reading your article has brought me back down to real reasons I want to get into this. Its about giving people quality of life. The elderly and their families. I thank you for your article And I will keep a copy of it on my wall to be a reminder of what really matters. God bless you. Daniel Rawson

]]> By: Donna W http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-26219 Donna W Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:21:35 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-26219 TIAs just hate those things. Several years ago she had 3 when she was at church with my brother. Then she had one I think in 2006 and again in 2007. The one she had in 2006 freaked me out because it was the first time I had actualy seen it in action. I decided however, any others she would have, she was not going to the ER, they never find anything, it disipitates! So in 07, she had one during supper. I called 911, for back up and just held her head and talked to her, and by the time the guys arrived she was already "back". I said no don't take care that is more traumatic then the event is and they don't find anything anyhow. Then several months ago, she had one while her nurse was here, the nurse thought she was having a seziure because of then noises and movements she was making, which never happened before. I said no, look at her eyes it is a TIA. What was going on, I found out a bit later was, when the TIA hit, so did a massive elimination, hence the noices and movement going on! Anyhow, I was glad the nurse was here at the time of the "event"! Donna! Drink water! A great deal of what mom has dealt with later in life, is because she did not hydrate her body! Mom loved to drive, it was hard to get her off the road when she was in her 70's, but she was becoming to dangerous to herself and others. Learn to drive while you are still young! .-= Donna W´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheBearHugWaltz/~3/Ibwx7sWy1ec/negativity-of-being-negative.html" rel="nofollow">The - Negativity - of Being - Negative -</a> =-. TIAs just hate those things. Several years ago she had 3 when she was at church with my brother. Then she had one I think in 2006 and again in 2007. The one she had in 2006 freaked me out because it was the first time I had actualy seen it in action. I decided however, any others she would have, she was not going to the ER, they never find anything, it disipitates! So in 07, she had one during supper. I called 911, for back up and just held her head and talked to her, and by the time the guys arrived she was already “back”. I said no don’t take care that is more traumatic then the event is and they don’t find anything anyhow. Then several months ago, she had one while her nurse was here, the nurse thought she was having a seziure because of then noises and movements she was making, which never happened before. I said no, look at her eyes it is a TIA. What was going on, I found out a bit later was, when the TIA hit, so did a massive elimination, hence the noices and movement going on!
Anyhow, I was glad the nurse was here at the time of the “event”!

Donna! Drink water! A great deal of what mom has dealt with later in life, is because she did not hydrate her body!
Mom loved to drive, it was hard to get her off the road when she was in her 70′s, but she was becoming to dangerous to herself and others. Learn to drive while you are still young!
.-= Donna W´s last blog ..The – Negativity – of Being – Negative - =-.

]]> By: Donna http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-26106 Donna Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:11:44 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-26106 Emotions!!..Daughters sure have lots of those dont we? I love your posts so much. This is a road map of what mom and my life will be. I am definately in I suppose stage 1 1/2...mom can still bathe...she comes out rather quickly so Im not certain about how much cleansning is happening just like you mentioned but she still is physically able. I have to gently remind its time to change the nightclothes or you have a stain on those pants...and she will scream WHERE and not believe me. things like this...she can heat things up, etc...all the things you described. her mind is sharp most days and I dont necessarily have a problem with removing the daughter coat and replacing it with the caregiver but mom still is very assertive that she is the mother not me...so for now in my mind I really am the mom and she is the child. It is emotional and I try to detach myself. for instance, today I said Mom would you like an omelette for lunch and she said I'll make it!!..I said ok...are you up to that (my real meaning was do you remember how) and she said sure...I walked my dog to give her some independance knowing I would be right back...when I returned nothing was done except the dicing of the ham and green peppers...she said, what do I have to do now? this was the lady that taught me everything I Know how to do...i briefly helped and let her continue...it was really scrambled eggs but all is well....your posts remind me that things change so quickly....mom had a TIA last year in march so I am very aware of them....your a dear friend Donna...oh and by the way, your mom and I have a lot in common,,,last week you told me she learned to drive late in life...i still dont drive, and I HATE drinking water lol....I force myself because I need to do it but for years my family called me the camel lol.....beautiful post as usual:) Emotions!!..Daughters sure have lots of those dont we? I love your posts so much. This is a road map of what mom and my life will be. I am definately in I suppose stage 1 1/2…mom can still bathe…she comes out rather quickly so Im not certain about how much cleansning is happening just like you mentioned but she still is physically able. I have to gently remind its time to change the nightclothes or you have a stain on those pants…and she will scream WHERE and not believe me. things like this…she can heat things up, etc…all the things you described. her mind is sharp most days and I dont necessarily have a problem with removing the daughter coat and replacing it with the caregiver but mom still is very assertive that she is the mother not me…so for now in my mind I really am the mom and she is the child. It is emotional and I try to detach myself. for instance, today I said Mom would you like an omelette for lunch and she said I’ll make it!!..I said ok…are you up to that (my real meaning was do you remember how) and she said sure…I walked my dog to give her some independance knowing I would be right back…when I returned nothing was done except the dicing of the ham and green peppers…she said, what do I have to do now? this was the lady that taught me everything I Know how to do…i briefly helped and let her continue…it was really scrambled eggs but all is well….your posts remind me that things change so quickly….mom had a TIA last year in march so I am very aware of them….your a dear friend Donna…oh and by the way, your mom and I have a lot in common,,,last week you told me she learned to drive late in life…i still dont drive, and I HATE drinking water lol….I force myself because I need to do it but for years my family called me the camel lol…..beautiful post as usual:)

]]> By: Donna W http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-26101 Donna W Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:19:13 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-26101 Hi Karen! Thanks for your comment. I never imagined that taking care of mom would involve so many transitions. Even after 4 years there are ongoing changes, which require emotional changes in me as well as changes in how I care for her. My coat has many pockets in it, I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I do know that I can not make alterations on it at this stage. Hope you will stop by again! .-= Donna W´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheBearHugWaltz/~3/Ibwx7sWy1ec/negativity-of-being-negative.html" rel="nofollow">The - Negativity - of Being - Negative -</a> =-. Hi Karen! Thanks for your comment. I never imagined that taking care of mom would involve so many transitions. Even after 4 years there are ongoing changes, which require emotional changes in me as well as changes in how I care for her. My coat has many pockets in it, I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I do know that I can not make alterations on it at this stage. Hope you will stop by again!
.-= Donna W´s last blog ..The – Negativity – of Being – Negative - =-.

]]> By: Karen Gurney http://www.caregiving.com/2010/02/if-i-dont-do-it-who-will-transitioning-from-daughter-to-caregiver/comment-page-1/#comment-26098 Karen Gurney Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:51:09 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?p=4939#comment-26098 I find myself nodding my head at many of the things you say here. I agree that "removing my ‘daughter’s coat’ and putting on my ‘caregiver’s coat’" is akin to a death. It's such a difficult emotional transition. Bless you for being a loving & caring person. I find myself nodding my head at many of the things you say here. I agree that “removing my ‘daughter’s coat’ and putting on my ‘caregiver’s coat’” is akin to a death. It’s such a difficult emotional transition. Bless you for being a loving & caring person.

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