Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey, our emotional health expert, joined us for a discussion on how to weed our friendship gardens. (You can listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post.)
Show highlights include:
1. In a caregiving role, our needs change and so may our friendships. Our priorities may shift our friendships.
2. We can choose to dance with or dance away from those in our lives.
3. Sit with the question: What’s going on with this friendship? The feelings will become clear. With clarity of feelings, you can move forward with a discussion.
4. A conversation about what we need gives the friendship an opportunity to change. If it can’t change, we know to move on with love and without judgment.
5. During the conversation, speak from your feelings: I feel so overwhelmed. I need more support and encouragement. What can we do so this happens?
6. Place the shift in the friendship in a context (my life has changed, it’s this now), which allows the friendship to meet the need.
7. Avoid creating drama about your own feelings. Respond, rather than react, to those feelings. When you understood your feelings, you can calmly assert your needs.
8. Our feelings are like kids, if they don’t get heard, they start to shout until they are. But, at that point, the conversation may become about the shouting (drama) rather than about your needs.
9. In talking about caregiving with your friends, share how your feel (overwhelmed, guilty, sad) rather than the story, which may be too much for non-caregiving friends.
10. Weeding allows you the room to grow so your gardens becomes what you want—full of support, compassion, understanding.
