I recently wrote a blog titled ‘Invisible People’, it was written as a result of an ‘experiment’ I did on facebook.
One of my facebook friends, Kym, who is also a dear friend from my church, posted on Feb.22 that there were free pancakes being given away at a ihop the next day, and who wanted to go with. As I wrote in the blog ‘Invisible People’ I said I did, but I couldn’t because my husband was not here so I couldn’t leave the house.
I am posting the ‘Invisible People’ along with this, to show the background for what happened next………
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Invisible People
Something triggered this thought recently, I can’t say what it was, but the thought was that as caregivers, we are invisible people. We aren’t seen, aren’t heard from aren’t thought about. Not all caregivers are in that category, but I’d be interested in doing a poll to see just how many felt that way!
I inadvertently tested this out earlier this week. A national restaurant was offering free pancakes, and one of my facebook friends posted that she was going to go the next morning to get some and who wanted to go? I said memememe! Of course I couldn’t go, but I thought I would post on my facebook about the free pancakes and I would like some, who would like to bring some to me? As usual, higher then practical expectations develop! I did get a couple comments on it, but no real takers to see to it I could have some pancakes. Everyone, family and friends within a 50 mile radius know I am a caregiver, and most know I get out of the house very little.
I am in no ways traumatized by any of this, but I did find it interesting. There are those who I know think about me and mom, but how many there are that do not, and how many there are that do not call to see how we are and do we need anything, any help? Again it seems to come back to the, it is all up to me to ask others for help. But this pancake thing, I was all but screaming out, won’t someone please see me, here I am, my husband is out of town, it is just me and mom, and I would really just love to have someone bring me some pancakes. Sigh (just did that).
So, other caregivers, do you feel like one of the invisible people, and if so, in what way?
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I received numerous responses to this post from caregivers who felt invisible like I did, and also many offered to bring me pancakes, if they could! They knew what I was feeling and the common bonds that link caregivers were evident in this situation.
Then….Kym asked me several days later if I had gotten my pancakes, I said no I hadn’t. She asked me if I was going to be in church Sunday, or my husband. I told her it would be Gary, it was his turn. She said she would bring them on Monday to choir practice then. I was a bit surprised to say the least, and really did not expect that to happen, but you know, it is the thought that counts, right?
On Monday Kym and I were chatting on facebook, and she asked if I liked thin or thick pancakes, I said thick…and off she went to make pancakes…for me! Well, I thought I was getting pancakes that night, she said so, but it was one of those ‘I’ll believe it when I see it things’ because how many people have even offered to do things at all for me that were really needed! Here was someone doing something as simple as making pancakes for me! Oh yes, in the other blog, I made reference to family and friends in a 50 mile radius who knew of my situation….she is about 50.
Kym saw and met a need out of the kindness of her heart! Kym took time out of her busy day, time away from family activities, for me! She saw my request; she saw and heard the need. But the need was not for pancakes, but to be seen, to not be invisible! When I shared with her Monday night what her act of kindness really meant and accomplished, it was a ‘special moment’ for both of us. She didn’t realize the impact her making pancakes for me, would have, and the hope it would bring to me. Hope that maybe others would see me too, and not just me, but hope for all caregivers who feel like they are not seen by family and friends!
It is the little things that mean a lot, not the big overwhelming, don’t have time for or can’t afford to do for you things. The little, seemingly insignificant things!
As you can see by the photo, Kym blessed me with the most beautiful batch of pancakes ever!
I know that God has a special blessing for Kym, because she has blessed me!
Hi Donna, I love that you took a photo of the pancakes (which look delicious). Kym sounds like a treasure. And, you’re right–it’s the little things that mean so much to us. Those little things show how important we are to someone else.
And, do you enjoy your pancakes with butter and syrup? Fruit?
Hey, the only way….butter and maple syrup!
.-= Donna W´s last blog ..Kym Saw Me – I’m Not Invisible =-.
I havent had pancakes in ages but think I will make some one of these days very soon…..
this was a great topic because we all know it wasnt really about the pancakes…we all just need to be treated special and feel like we were remembered once in a while….
people think gifts are huge boxes with ribbons and bows but I think you would agree knowing this special person took the time to make those pancakes for you is the greatest gift of all…good for you…you deserve to be treated nicely…..
Kym sounds like a great friend! It is easy to feel invisible and alone in our caregiving roles at times. I sometimes feel that with some of my husband’s family. (My sibs do not live close by.) On the other hand I have been given lots of love and support from my church family especially with our recent move. I am so appreciative of that. I think no other human being except perhaps a fellow caregiver completely understands what we are going through, however. There is a certain lonliness in that.