hands that scraped an apple, and mashed a banana, for me to eat when I was sick in bed
hands that brought me that treasured round tin full of wonderful and magical buttons
hands that brought me a glass of grape or apple juice
hands that cleaned up after me each time I was sick (special mention to the bare feet that walked in it sometimes too!)
hands that selected my new Easter clothes
hands that helped me on and off the buses and trains as we traveled the country
hands that held mine while crossing the street on the way to church each Sunday
hands that cooked some of my favorite foods, beef stew, pot roast, country style spareribs
hands that cared for others for over 15 years as an aide in the hospital, then 3 years in a home and school for developmentally disabled individuals
hands that made the tiniest precisely placed stitches, in mending and quilting
hands that did tole painting, creating special keepsakes
hands that worked word search after word search puzzle
hands so strong that when she held yours, she could cut off the circulation, and you better not have on a ring
hands which are now spotted with age
frail, and weak
slow moving and tremble
hands that wipe her nose and mouth, sometimes
hands that feebly point to her bear buddy, or
the picture of her and daddy
hands that if she gets mad
will muster up enough strength to grap hold
of my wrist or clothing
hands that arrange the bead necklaces
on her bear buddy
or look slowly through her cards and photos
hands that will randomly and for no
reason, tear up such items too
hands that patted my cheek ever gently in an unspoken gesture of love
How touching! As children, we tend to take these things for granted.
These are things that normally wouldn’t be thought of again for most people, but evidently they have all had some type of impact on me to be able to bring them to the forefront of my thoughts at this time, and some of them have been remembered through the years too.
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
Hi Donna, It sounds like a lot of talking goes on with your mom’s hands. I love this poem! I love it on the weekend when time is on our mind (because we lose an hour). Hoping the sun comes out for you today.
Boy, last week was interesting, but I needed to get through it by writing, and then be able to do this blog. Hopefully this will be a better week, and get more writing done!
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
Donna,
Thank you for your blog. I always enjoy reading them and always learn something new. This week I want to try and see things from my mother’s perspective. She has recently been asking for more help dressing, walking, answering the phone, when making choices, etc. It can be a bit overwhelming with children factored in, but…to see things from her perspective – she needs the extra help and then some. Something new for all of us here in this house to learn. Compassion. Your mom’s hands were full of compassion and the pats on your cheek are a reminder of that. Thank heavens for those occasional pats.
I tried as long as I could to help mom retain as much independence as she could, but I would become blinded to the fact that there were an increasing number of things she could not do. Changes were happening, and adapting to these changes was hard for me to accept. I would’t see them, until it got to where I was forced to see them and make changes in how I handled each thing. Now, there is not much left to change, she is 100% care, and most time spent in bed as her weight goes down….
I have grandkids over each week, so I have for several years had to factor them into the schedule of things. I don’t entertain, this is more of a nursing facility with all it’s sights and odors, so having company is not too often, unless it is a close family or friend who might stop by, and that is not often.
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
Donna…as usual a very touching and heartfelt story and again a very inspiraitonal one…
you all know I am the family member with the sense of humor in here so had I written this piece I would have included the spanking mom used her hands on Donna as well as all the loving times. I was a handful even back then lol…However…it is very funny because I usually after dinner sit on the couch and watch television with Mom and she normally goes into bed at 8:00 after wheel of fortune and when she passes me to go into her room she always pats me on the head and says goodnight….its very touching…you almost feel like the little girl again sometimes. Bette I do understand the compassion as well. Mom cant see colors well anymore and her hands cannot choose her own outfits…we try to place the outfits on the hangers so it gives her some independance…she at times has trouble using her hands to dial the phone even with with the large numbers phone we purchased for her. and choices forget…I have to guide her along…but your right…Donna hang on to those compassionate pats…but also use your hands and applaud yourself as I am doing for you right now. Not only are you a terrific daughter you write so beautifully and teach us all something new every post:)..In my posts I try to encourage us all to find some happiness during this sadness and hopefully together we compliment each other so we can all get through the days somehow:)my hands are clapping to you once again my friend!!
I realized yesterday that the more intimate and personal things I write about mom or mom and me, are the things I have never or can’t talk to her about. In a household of no communication or emotions shown, relationships suffered. Even though mom and I were close, because I was the youngest, there was still not that open show of emotion, no hugs, kisses or I love you’s, until I became an adult. So, all these experiences past and present have to be written because they express how I think and feel about my mom.
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
Beautiful blog, Donna!
Thank you Sharon!
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
That was beautiful. Very heart-felt and loving. Bless you!
Skye´s last blog ..Another day, another doctor
Thank you Skye! Have fun with your time with Denise on the radio program! I will have to listen to the show later on!
Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time
SWEET!!