Monday night, I hurt my back. Not sore muscles, or a fatigued back (which has happened plenty during this caregiving experience), but discs out of place. Mom went to sit on the edge of the bed, and sat too early. My choice was to catch her, or let her fall. I caught her, but when I did, I felt a “pop” and instant pain.
After two days of doctor visits, I am in bed and recuperating. However, I don’t think this is going to be a quick fix. I’m not allowed to care for mom (at least not by myself) until further notice. Has anyone else been in this predicament? Do you have any suggestions? My sister came running to take care of mom the night it happened (even though it was her birthday) and I have the next week covered for care. However, what happens next week if I’m not okay by then? Or the week after that?
Knowing how dependent Mom is on me is one of the scariest parts of being a caregiver, at least for me. I try not to dwell in the land of “what ifs”, but it is hard not to. I have worked so hard to keep Mom at home, and not in a nursing home, but it all depends on me staying healthy and strong enough to handle the transfers. How do you all cope with that responsibility? Somedays, it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
I’ve learned a lot this week about being a caree, and how it must feel for Mom to need help with simple, everyday tasks that we take for granted—like getting dressed or taking a shower. As hard as being a caregiver can be, it is much harder to be a caree! This is the first time I’ve been in this position, other than a short period when I recovered from a surgery about 5 years ago.
I’ve also learned again what an amazing family I have. My timing couldn’t have been worse; our son and his family are coming home (from 3000 miles away) in just a few days. The house needs cleaned, meals need to be prepared and this grandma needs to be ready to play with her grandchildren and not limping around with a cane! Oh, and my husband is having spine surgery on April 1st! My brother-in-law and sister-in-law, and our son, have been here the past two days, helping my husband with various projects and fixing us meals.
Probably because of the meds I’m on, I’ve been waking with nightmares about the state stepping in and saying that Mom needs to go to a nursing home because I can’t take care of her. Mom has been very stressed, worried about me, and not doing well physically or mentally. She is very confused, and her legs aren’t working well. She is in the wheelchair most of the time the last 4 days. She had such a great weekend last weekend, not so this one. Her care is great, our weekend caregiver had free time and is taking extra shifts while we get through this.
I often think of myself as a ringmaster of a three-ring circus. What happens if the ringmaster is down, and there’s no one else to take her place?
UGH! How awful and how frustrating. What a worry for you–it’s obviously weighing so heavy it’s causing the nightmares.
You are very wise and very conscientious so know that you will figure this out. And, when you do, you’ll have a team that’s stronger and more prepared than ever.
Use this week to gather the troops and talk about what’s needed for the week after. Divvy up responsibilities for phone calls to learn about options for help, for shifts and meal-preparation.
We’ve got an article about creating a contingency plan, in case you’re out of commission, here.
This article, although focusing on training someone to step in while the family caregiver goes on vacation, also may help.
I hope you feel better fast!! And, please keep us posted. We’ll support you as you get back on your feet.
Just a quick update on the state of matters around here. Mom is having a much better day than she has had the last few, and I put my pants on without (much) help this morning. Progress…even if it’s not at the pace I would prefer!
Wow!!. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to want to rest and recuperate but meanwhile havoc is happening in every room of the house…its difficult for us to get sick days in this job…try to take things slowly first of all…the second you feel a slight bit better the first thing is to want to jump around and do as much as possible … so try to just do what is necessary…as far as the house being clean and the meals for your visiting relatives they are coming to see you…they know what your house looks like…the best is all you can do…worry about getting better and the special time with the family….we tend to not show up for functions so worried about little details…so enjoy your family….I agree, it must be difficult for our mothers who took care of us to suddenly have things being done for them constantly. Crazy how things role reverse…Im glad you seemed to be feeling a little bit better today and I hope that continues but please do take care…stress will make the back hurt even more..believe me..I know how hard that is to do…..sometimes you just have to try and overlook things to heal…..please keep us updated on how you are doing!! and remind yourself your a great daughter!!!!!
So sorry to hear this. Take the time to get better and heal. You do not want permanent back issues.
So glad to see you are able to move forward in your activities, small steps are better then none. I deal with neck, shoulder and arm issues due to all the lifting movements, and sleeping on a couch for so long. I have something pinched or whatever in my neck that has been affecting my shoulder and arm on the left side, which was the side I depended on if my right side was bothering me! Motrin helps for a time. I need to go to a chiropractor, but don’t know if that will happen or not. Hope you will continue to make progress in your healing. DW
.-= Donna W´s last blog ..The Hands of Time =-.