So, I’m sick again. I’m sure it is due to the stress of caregiving and the news we just received from the doctor, as well as the everyday routine I have for myself. I’m never outside, I am not eating well, I haven’t been working out, and all I can think about these days is death. None of these things are conducive to a healthy life. I was sick with H1N1 in November, was sick three weeks in December and into January, and was sick again in February and into this March. I realize that this is common for those who act as caregivers to the elderly, but it’s starting to really seem ridiculous.
So what’s the answer? I know that my life is full of stress and that stress is wreaking havoc on my immune system, so shouldn’t I do something about it? Unfortunately, I find that my default stance on just about everything these days is the one of least resistance. Example: Cooking requires too much multitasking, since Gram usually desires my attention while I’m making something. My solution? Throw something frozen into the oven, have mom bring take-out from town, or make a giant bowl of [buttered] popcorn for supper. You know what I had for dinner a few days ago? Pizza and cookie dough…and that’s not an aberration. It’s the norm.
The frustrating part is that outside of my caregiving role, I eat decently and am a proponent of clean-eating and organic whole foods. These days I find myself falling very short of this ideal. Partially because of convenience, as I’ve noted, and partially because I–like many–rely on food for comfort. And I think we can all agree–cookie dough is far more comforting than a skinless chicken breast.
Also, I hate putting seemingly unnecessary pressure on myself, as you can probably all understand. It’s also a fine line for me personally, since I have strong negative feelings towards restrictive dieting. Any amount of regulation feels like I’m forcing something on myself, and I practically panic. Why add more stress to my situation? I already can’t live my life the way I wish I could…why limit my dietary choices as well?
I think the answer for me—and I’d be interested to see what it is for those of you in similar situations—is to focus more on quality of life and the inclusion of healthy choices. Rather than snub fatty foods or baked goods completely, make the extra effort to include healthful choices such as lean meats and vegetables…and somehow sneak in some exercise.
However, if you’re anything like me and are starting out with an already trashed immune system, you may need a little extra backup. I’m currently working on a few additions that I think might aid in keeping me a little healthier, including a little cardio, fresh vegetable juices, a vitamin-mineral supplement, and Echinacea. I have yet to figure out how to practically implement some of these ideas, but I’m sure there’s a way. I would love to hear from any of you to see if you have any secrets to strong immunity, or if you have any other suggestions. After all, if we don’t take care of ourselves, who will take care of us…or our charges?
I too deal with my diet. I am already overweight. I stay with my mom 5 days a week. On day 6 and 7 I can get out for a little while whick is a blessing. My problem is that I will go all day with nothing to eat…..too much to do! Plus my appetite is not good during the day. Then I get up and eat in the middle of the night and eat comfort food. I try to get out of this cycle but I am just not strong enough. I would be interested in finding out if any other caregivers go through this.
Yup, 4 years ago when I became mom’s fulltime caregiver, the weight began to go up, fueled by eating to fill the lonliness I now found myself in. Eating has always been my “friend” since I was a child, and always what I turned to when I was lonely. My blood pressure went sky high, and I ended up in the ER twice in one week, and have been on meds since then. I constantly deal with the food issue, some days are controlled, other are not, I am an emotional eaterm period. I am planning on starting to go walking outside once it warms up some, like in the 50s. That always makes me feel better when I can do something like that, and do it for a half hour, I can handle that. Trick is to get myself out of the house to do it! The more I try to keep myself busy with constructive things, such as blogging, working on my websites, commenting on other’s posts etc., the less time I spend eating. But I have to get out of this chair once in awhile! What is frustrating is I know exactly what and how to eat right, but the emotions take control of it all, but I keep trying!
Donna W´s last blog ..Silent Talking
I am so sad about these entries (very teary). I was never a real emotional person (prior to caregiving). These stories really tug at my heart because I can understand them and relate to them so well. I too, have been going through some issues such as these. The “not taking care of me” syndrome. And, not really caring. I was having trouble wanting to get up out of bed because I knew all the demands would start. This week I have really been analyzing this all in particular. I began exercising again, in the mornings before my husband leaves for work (This definitely challenges the not wanting to get out of bed part). It has been wonderful though. To see all the people that are out and about that early! And I feel more ready for the day when I come back. In my “analyzing”, I have been thinking that caregiving is not a real purpose full job…
We all need to feel like we have a purpose and if we don’t, what is there that makes us want to care about ourselves. I know we are all desparately needed, but our days are not about completing files that are on our desk, promotions, teaching a classroom of kids, etc. I am trying to grasp my purpose. So, Miss R, I know you are doing a wonderful thing with your grandmother, but I also know she ate right and made time for herself when she was your age. Please try and do that for yourself. You are so valuable to her and your family (and to this site!). You are needed. Thank you for sharing, because again, it helps so much to know there are others out there experiencing these vast emotions and hurdles, and… recognizing them in order to try and address them. You, Connie, myself, all of us here, we need to make an extra effort to take care of ourselves too. I know we deserve it!
Hi Everyone!!
Just an FYI: Anna Stookey shared tips on managing the emotional eating during one of our January talk shows. You can listen to the show here. Hope this helps.
We need all of you in the world for a long time.
You know what!!. I guess I am the selfish one in the family because I refuse to not take care of myself!!…I know its hard..and there are days I dont want to…yesterday I was laid up all day with a headache…Im sure part of it is stress, and when I felt badly I did what I needed to do here, I had to let some things go to the side and I rested. I did this because I knew if I ran my body further I would feel worse and worse and I lsitened and took care of me..Yes, I still did what was needed here. sick days, total ones, are for the moment out of the question. But I refuse to not take care of me. We all have a purpose. Miss R. you most definately have one…there are no oridnary days for us.. i know that..Plese, we all need you…we all need to hear your story…resist those temptations, those easy ways out that are placed before us…in the long run they will only make your life more complicated if they make you sick. So many need you…Right now your purpose could very well be your telling someone your story…your helping someone going through the pain you are…Keep your stride. I know what it is like to love everyone and be kind to everyone…once in a while you need a hug and some support….Here is my hug…here is my support…if its fried its bad for you:)…You keep fighting…read all the daily wisdoms denise writes…they get me through..try it…you can do this!!…As my aunt who was dying of leukemia told me rubbing my head two nights before she passed…better days are coming honey…I now rub your head and say the same…better days are coming
It is very important to take care of yourself! My husband was diagnosed with his neurological disease in 2006. In 2007 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and fought that with chemo, a mastectomy, and radiation for 8 months. I sometimes think I developed cancer, because I was grieving over my husband’s disease so much and I was NOT taking care of myself. Maybe not, but maybe that is true.
I am cancer free now, as far as I know. I do not take my health for granted any longer. I sometimes eat comfort food too, and I am not as consistent as I should be with exercising. I do, however, take vitamin supplements; and I take time for myself. I do exercise some also. Every morning I also take some time for Bible reading and devotions. It helps very much with my day.
Miss R, As I was thinking about you today, I wanted to mention just a couple of “eating things”. Special-K has some great products out there. Protein bars, as well as different low calorie snacks. My daughter loves their chocolate protein shakes. Always good to check with your doctor about vitamins too. I love the 100 calorie packages of cookies, etc. If you are a snacker, they are perfect. My husband likes the EAS bars. He gets them from Walmart in the vitamin area. He often has one for lunch. He says they really are filling. My best to you with all of this, I know it is a challenge.
Donna, just on a side note…My husband was talking with a man from his work today and his mother-in-law will be moving in with them next month. He wondered if his wife could use us as a resource during this time, knowing we have created a special area for my mother and have been caring for her for quite some time. I know we all have a specific purpose, but with caregiving its’ rewards are not always immediate or visible. I’m glad my husband’s conversation took place–we all need those reminders once in a while. (:
Wow, I am glad this resonated with all of you. Thanks for the comments!
Denise, I am going to go listen to that right now! I don’t know how I missed it.
Donna, thank you so much! Hugs are appreciated. It’s so hard to remember that there will be better days…and sometimes I’m afraid to even think about them.
Sharon: Wow. I am so sorry you had to deal with cancer on top of all of that. I wish it didn’t take scares like that to shake us out of our routines. I’m glad you are doing better now! Also, I agree with the necessity of having some time to oneself AND reading scripture. I keep telling myself that I need two things right now: More discipline and more God. I haven’t done a very good job with either, but I am trying to figure out how I can.
Bette: Thanks! I wish I had actually thought of the 100-Calorie packs or Luna bars or something before tonight…I sat in a cafe for an hour and ate half a box of cookies today. They WERE all-natural ones, but still. If I would have had a Special K bar or a Luna bar, I would have been much better off.
Miss R´s last blog ..Are You Okay?
Oh, I forgot! A few things I’ve been thinking about to help with health:
1. If budget will permit it, I’m considering a pair of these: http://www.skechers.com/info/s.....-MG-_-Info
Less for the toning aspect and more for the core strength and the help with posture. Has anyone used these or anything similar?
2. Yoga. Budget WILL permit this, though I have yet to see how my schedule and mental state will. I know it’s good for all of us to do some stretches for posture, strength, etc…but I really have a hard time making myself DO it. I think it’s because I’m used to “exercise” meaning something intense like “Tae Bo.”
3. Neti-pot or sinus rinses. I’ve had pretty good luck with these but always stop using them after I seem to heal up. They can be used as a preventative to sinus infections, but I never use them till I’m already in the throes of a sickness.
4. If you can afford it, deep-tissue and/or neuro-muscular massage are supposed to help support immunity. It’s very pricey, though. I’ve never been on a regimen of massages (boy, wouldn’t that be nice), but I have heard people swear by them.
5. Saunas. Again, I have not done this, but everyone tells me that they are great in helping respiratory illnesses or head colds, as well as a host of other things.
6. Like you all said, cardio, water, and multivitamins. Those three are crucial and I really only have the water part down pat.
Anyway, those are a few of the ideas I’ve been kicking around. Now, I’m off to listen to the link Denise posted!
Miss R´s last blog ..Are You Okay?