I left to go back home to CA for three days in order to take care of some business paperwork from an old account. The first night I had an awful dream that Gram was turning blue and was on her death bed. I have dreams like this frequently, and always if I am away from her for any length of time. They’re the kind of dreams that are so vivid and painful that they haunt you for the rest of the day and into the next. Have any of you had this happen? If so, how did you deal with it? I know it’s stress and guilt-related, so maybe there’s nothing to do about it except take them as they come…
By the way, I have also lost one of our cats. If things weren’t bad enough, our poor male kitty broke his leg, had [super-expensive] surgery, and somehow disappeared Sunday night and I haven’t seen him since. 
I am hoping he’s just holed up under the house, healing up.
Hi Miss R–Dilys wrote recently about a nightmare and how she coped; you read it here. The worry about being away when something happens can be so stressful. You give your Gram so much love that when she does leave, she leaves with your love, regardless of your in-person presence. Your love is permanent and permanently with her.
Hope the cat comes home!
I agree with Denise. Your love for your Grandma is so great that it stays with her when you leave. You are one special granddaughter.
Miss R–I can so relate. My mom lived in assisted living for 8 years, and has now had to move permanently to a nursing home. I am the oldest of her 5 kids, the one who is most available to help her in crisis, the one who is “the first to be called” and the one who makes most of the difficult decisions. OH, the NIGHTMARES I’ve had. ER gurneys that turn into coffins. Ambulances that turn into hearses. And my latest dream: Mom pretending she’d DIED by holding her breath and remaining motionless to see what all her kids (who were gathered around her in the dream) would do/say!
These dreams get much worse when we’re in a big health crisis and die down when things calm down a little. For the past week or so, Mom’s been stable and I’ve been nightmare-free. But I don’t expect it to last!!
I know I’m doing the best I can for her in real life, as I am sure you are for your grandma. I try to shake off the nightmares and tell myself they just go with the territory of being responsible for her well-being.
Bless you for all the kindness and care you are demonstrating when you’re wide awake!!
Im sorry to hear about the nightmares…that must be terrible…I myself never had this happen when my aunt was going through her last stages of leukemia….I guess I should be thankful for that.
Now with my mom, she actually has terrible nightmares a few times a week…she screams, cries and hollers in her sleep…it was disturbing when it first occured but Im getting used to them now…we cant understand what she is saying….her words are sometimes slurred …. we wonder if it is her childhood sometimes…when she wakes…she cant remember…..
i actually get worried for her heart…she is so angry during the dreams…i can only imagine if she was awake and this angry how her heart would be racing….
also, please keep us posted on the cat….
despite nightmares I agree with Katy…you most definately show so much love and kindness when awake and Ifor one am blessed to read your posts as I am much older and feel very inspired by you:)
Thanks so much, you guys! I appreciate the wonderful comments. I am so blessed to read about YOU guys. I agree that I need to just focus on the fact that the bad dreams just come with the territory. Oh, and I feel so bad for your mom, Donna R! It would be so scary to hear anyone get that upset from bad dreams, let alone your caree. It probably makes you feel helpless, and for that I am really sorry. I suppose there’s not much to be done, except maybe just hugging her when she wakes up and helping her to realize she is safe…I’m not sure. I wish you the best with it!
.-= Miss R´s last blog .."Night Light" by Janice Lynch =-.
Quick update: The cat came home! He’s doing pretty good, too!
Also, the other cat just had two kittens! (Unplanned, but wonderful nonetheless.)
Happy Spring to you all!
great news…come into the site and answer some of the questions…who knows, you might get lucky and win a prize…great hearing from you…we were wondering how things were going…..