April 21

We’re having very hot weather here but we are able to keep mum full of liquids. We’ve decided to have her have some soup around 11 a.m., then when we eat lunch around 1 or 1:30, she has solid foods. This is all to get more liquid into her. I’ve been making a lot of gelatin desserts also to get her to have more liquids. I made a cocanut gelatin, very easy. A small bottle of cocanut milk (250 ml),...

Obama Requests New Hospital Rules for Patients Rights

Last Thursday, President Obama issued a memorandum to the Secretary of Health and Human Services; his memorandum calls for new rules for hospitals participating in Medicare or Medicaid relating to the right of patients to designate visitors and surrogate decision-makers. President Obama writes: SUBJECT: Respecting the Rights of Hospital Patients to Receive Visitors and to Designate Surrogate Decision Makers for...

Welcome Bette and Jeff!

Today, we introduce two new bloggers: Bette, who cares for her mom, and Jeff, who cares for his wife. You can read their first posts below. You can learn more about Bette and Jeff (as well as all our bloggers) here. We are so grateful to our bloggers for sharing their days with us. And, we’re thankful to all our visitors who share their days through their comments. We are so lucky to have you...

Margin

In the midst of the busiest time in our family life the past few weeks, I sat and stared at my computer screen with a blank stare. What I read took my breath away. I was looking at four words that were penetrating my inner soul more than I had expected. The four words were part of a larger email sitting in my in-box and I was literally frozen as I read, Refuel, Retool, Refresh, Reconnect. My mind was flooded...

Tell Us: What (or Who) Intimidates You?

There’s something about caregiving that can make you feel like a mealy mess, like you haven’t a clue, like you’re absolutely out of our element. Everywhere else you are confident, achieving, smart. But, here, in caregiving, you seem to be an intimidated you. It could happen when you’re folding the wheelchair, talking to the visiting nurse, trying to organize medications or managing...

Springtime Thought

A meaningful conversation is like rich soil, it can grow new opportunities. As I was growing up, my dad and I were very close.  We were constantly talking.  Whether we were riding in the car, or I was following him around while he was doing yard work.  He was very patient as I had many “life” questions for him.  My mother struggled a bit with sharing. After my dad passed away, my mother and I drew ...

Search

Do you feel like life is one big search? You search for help, answers, treatment options, support, information. And, then, sometimes, you feel like you search for new friends, new jobs, new homes. Even worse, the search for acceptance, understanding and love can be absolutely exhausting. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop the search and just prop your feet for rest? This week, rest. Let the search go. In particular,...

Guilt and Confusion: A Confession

I’ve been having trouble lately. A few weeks ago Gram took a turn for the worst, and everyone thought we were at the end. She slept for days, wouldn’t eat or drink, hallucinated, etc. The nurses and doctor thought we only had days. All the family had gathered around, and when she awoke for a few minutes, she seemed to be saying goodbye. Then…she got better. I don’t know how to describe what...

I See Your Glow

I was lucky to visit Berlin last week. It’s an amazing city, primarily because it’s still recovering from WWII. What-was-once East Berlin holds the city’s history, both good and bad, as well as a seemingly endless construction site. The communists, after taking over the eastern part of the city in 1949, left the buildings damaged by war bombs to disintegrate. Reconstruction only began after the...

We Break for Spring! Celebration

We made it! We say good-bye to winter and hello to spring. To celebrate, we’ll holding a week-long contest on Caregiving.com called We Break for Spring!. We’ll celebrate spring while encouraging you to take a break (even a short five-minute one) daily to do something just for you or about you. Our contest takes place on our Facebook fan page, on Twitter, on Your Caregiving Journey talk show, and on our...

Spring Cleaning: Taking Out the Good Money Habits

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined us to share tips on how to bring out our good money habits (and pack away our bad ones for good). You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post. A few good money habit tips for you: 1. Start an automatic savings plan. And, save what you can–no amount is too small! 2. Create a vision around your savings plan,...

Get a Free Coaching Session on Saturday; Help Two Great Charities

On April 17, I’m participating in a very special event taking place across Chicagoland. I would love for you to join me–in person or over the phone. Coaching for Good, sponsored by Chicago Coach Federation, will raise money for charities while giving free coaching sessions to individuals. Our goal is to raise $6,000 for a local charity (Guild for the Blind) and a global one (American Red Cross Haiti...

Pneumonia

Gram has it. I’m trying not to be panicky.

Reflections

When we moved to our condo, it felt like a new beginning. I still love our new place for many reasons, but caregiving still is a burden on my heart. Spring is a promise of nicer weather and new beginnings. I love the warmer weather, but the decline I see in my husband and all that goes with that still lies heavy on my heart. My husband’s neurological disease has not only put him in a wheelchair, but it has...

Free Guide on Medicare/Medicaid Available

The MetLife Mature Market Institute® has a new guide, “The Essentials: Medicare and Medicaid,” available free to the public.  The publication is a concisely written how-to guide for older Americans and their families, which answers basic and in-depth questions about both health care programs, including the most common: “what’s the difference between the two?” “Most Americans,...

Strange times…

I’ve been trying to figure out how to best write my post for this week, but as usual I’m having a tough time. These last few weeks have been trying, as I’ve shared with you all. Recently there has been a lot of family turmoil as well, though it’s mostly been unrelated to Gram’s illness. I find myself caught in the middle, whether I like it or not, and I hate it. With all of this family...

Ask Your Senator to Support Increases in Funding to Help Family Caregivers

National Council on Aging has asked for our support in securing an increase in funding for the Older Americans Act. The OAA fund programs such as Meals on Wheels and the Family Caregiver Support Program. Sens. Lincoln (D-AR) and Stabenow (D-MI) are circulating a Dear Colleague letter calling for enactment of the OAA increases proposed in the Administration’s Caregiver Initiative—plus 12% increases in other ...

When the Doctor Won’t Listen

Today’s New York Times has an interesting article about doctors downplaying patients’ complaints about symptoms. According to the article: “Dr. Ethan Basch, an oncologist who treats men with prostate cancer and does research at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, argues that doctors, researchers, drug makers and regulators should pay more attention to patients’ firsthand reports...

Tell Us: When Did You Know Something Was Wrong?

For some, there’s no guesswork involved: The phone rings with bad news—a stroke, heart attack, fall, car accident. For others, it’s all guesswork. Is this normal? Is she just depressed? Will this pass? Should he see a doctor? Within the guesswork lies one moment when you knew something was wrong—that how your caree acted just wasn’t normal, that it probably was depression plus...

Scenery

Image via Wikipedia When you look around, do you seem to see a mountain of incontinence supplies, an ocean of dirty laundry and a sea of sad faces? Who knew a mountain, an ocean and a sea could provide such a depressing backdrop? While we can’t change our circumstances, we can change our surroundings. We can change the scenery inside our houses. Organize your caregiving supplies in attractive boxes....

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Well, I did not write a blog on Easter like I wanted to, it was the 4 year ‘anniversary’ of becoming mom’s full time caregiver.  I think because it stirred up too many emotions to write about it, at least not on that day.  I did however do some thought wandering back to those first days, weeks, and months a sort of retrospective, woulda - coulda - shoulda, type of thinking.  Looking at who...

Tell Us: What Does It Take?

Last week, Bette, one of our regular visitors, wrote about a compliment she received. A friend expressed how proud she was of Bette. And, then the friend said: It’s care-taking because it takes from you. Which made me think: What does it take to be a family caregiver? Does it take patience? Discipline? A strong stomach? A great sense of humor? A somewhat calloused heart? What do you think: What does it take...