A meaningful conversation is like rich soil, it can grow new opportunities.
As I was growing up, my dad and I were very close. We were constantly talking. Whether we were riding in the car, or I was following him around while he was doing yard work. He was very patient as I had many “life” questions for him. My mother struggled a bit with sharing.
After my dad passed away, my mother and I drew closer and had many good conversations. Recently my mother is struggling with word find, so our conversations are shorter. She can follow what I am saying if I only present 2 to 3 sentences at a time. Our walls have been a little quieter lately…which to me, is sad.
Saturday I was running an errand and asked my mother if she wanted to ride along. Again, it was quiet. As we were riding, I began talking about Maine, where she is from. Each summer she generally goes to visit her sister for a week, while my husband, children and I, go on vacation. I wasn’t sure about this summer.
After I talked about Maine for a bit, she said I think this summer will be my last summer to be able to go to Maine. She struggles with her walking, and other things have declined as well. Up until this point, I had no idea what to do about Maine this summer.
Now that my mother has expressed a desire to go, I know I need to take her. I am grateful for honest conversations, that can challenge us and spur us on to something new.
You are a disruptor. The delivery of health care starts with you, continues because of you, and ends with you. Let's disrupt together to make the world better for family caregivers. 
Donna Ryan
What a great post!!!.. What a special conversation you had with your mother….while you were confused as to what to do she foundd the words to ease your mind!!..Im also glad to hear your plans are not changed this year because you do need that vacation with your family and are deserving of it…
Not to get away from your wonderful post, but conversations most definately draw you to new things….that is exactly what I wrote about regarding the orange license plates…Mom and I were reminsicing about the old days and my dad and it then led me to something so silly I never even saw in front of me…new york has orange license plates again lol lol lol lol lol….silly little things that we do not notice!!!!!!it opened my eyes to be more observant of things around me….
While this is such a silly thing I learned something new through a conversation….
even though its difficult try to keep those conversations going each day!!!!!….You could learn all kinds of NEW things!!!!Communication to me is the key in all areas that unlocks a lot of confusion…..
Denise
Hi Bette! In a caregiving situation, when all decisions seem to rest of you, it can be hard to know what to do. I think it’s terrific you asked your mom–her perspective helped make the decision.
And, congrats on your first blog post! So glad you’re blogging–looking forward to reading more.
Bette
Thank you for your comments… I was a bit nervous with my first post. My daughter stood next to me as I hit “publish”…(:
Donna, I wish my mother could go to Maine while we are on vacation, but I think this year, I will need to go to Maine with her, and then I am hoping my aunt will come here while we are away. A bit of a compromise, but caregiving does give us many little unexpected curves along the way.
Sharon
Welcome, Bette. I enjoyed your first post, and I have enjoyed other comments you have posted in the past. So glad you joined the group blogging at caregiving.com.
Miss R
So glad you are with us!
It’s so good you can have meaningful talks with your mother, even if they are short ones. I’ve heard that with Alzheimers, or really any kind of dementia or illness, one needs to focus on making special “moments.” (“Moments” because the caree is unable to focus for any longer time period.) Your conversations might be short, but I bet those sentences have the power to make her very happy.
.-= Miss R´s last blog .."Night Light" by Janice Lynch =-.
Ln
Traveling was difficult when I began caring for my parents several years ago, but we managed two long distance trips to reunions with dad’s WWII shipmates (with the assistance of my adult son).
As a result of those experiences, I urge you to take with you any pictures that might have family significance. Ask your mother and her sister to sit down as often as possible with the photos and document each one. This has two advantages: it might help your mother with memory recall, and your family will have an important piece of historical remembrance. I think you’ll enjoy it as well.
Use a voice activated recorder and a video camera if possible to capture their answers. Transfer these photos and conversation to digital media that can be stored long term.
Are in-home services available to help your aunt take care of your mother while you tour some of the Maine sights alone? This could be a wonderful chance for you to have a break from all of your family duties