You probably think this at least a few times a week:
You just don’t understand.
You might think this when a well-meaning friend says: “Why don’t you get more help?” Or, when a family member says, “Well, why don’t you just tell her to mind her own business?” Or, when another family member says, “I just don’t understand why you need those five minutes to yourself every morning.”
You may think it, but it might not be something you say.
So, tell us: What do you think no one understands?
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Friends don’t understand that getting home help is not always possible or don’t understand what is really needed.
Family does not understand that I can’t do everything that needs to be done by myself.
No one seems to understand the emotional and physical toll this takes on me.
I don’t think my friends (all in our twenties) understand how hard this is and that I really need them. It’s hard for me to reach out and sometimes I wish they’d take the initiative.
Also, people don’t understand how hard it is for me to be away from my actual home and my life back in CA. They act like I have it easy sometimes. A few Sundays ago I had slept in really late, partially because I was sort of depressed and just didn’t want to get out of bed. (A lot of the time I just lie there, knowing that Gram is still asleep and even though I know there are things that could be done, “what’s the point” and all that.) One of the caregivers made some comment about how “you’d think she had a full-time job or something” to me and someone else at the house. It really got under my skin. I am fortunate enough to have help during the daytime hours now, it’s true. But do they think that just because I might have some free time in the days that the other 16+ hours are a piece of cake or that I’m not super-depressed or at loose ends? I don’t know. My situation is complicated, and usually people are sympathetic once they hear it. She, however, really upset me with her comment. Does she think this is an easy situation?
Sorry, had to vent about that one!
.-= Miss R´s last blog .."Night Light" by Janice Lynch =-.
Also, I think that no one understands that in those 6-8 hours that might be free, two of them are the commute in and around the nearest town, and the rest usually involve running errands. Not always, but usually. They act like I should have written the great American novel in my free time or something.
.-= Miss R´s last blog .."Night Light" by Janice Lynch =-.
I don’t think people fully understand the emotional toll that caring for a loved one with a disease takes on the caregiver. Unsolicited unhelpful advice given by others advocating simplistic solutions for complex problems also is frustrating.