There’s something about caregiving that can make you feel like a mealy mess, like you haven’t a clue, like you’re absolutely out of our element. Everywhere else you are confident, achieving, smart. But, here, in caregiving, you seem to be an intimidated you.
It could happen when you’re folding the wheelchair, talking to the visiting nurse, trying to organize medications or managing incontinence. Or, it could happen when your caree gives you that look of disapproval that stops you in your tracks.
In your caregiving role, what or who intimidates you?
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This post really made my heart drop (it really hit home). I have a family member who intimidates me terribly. He/She really shouldn’t, because they have no involvement in my caregiving. They are in complete disagreement of caring for someone in your home (particularly our situation). I really want to let go of this because not only is it a constant weight on my shoulders, it is very uncomfortable when I see this person. I am so grateful for my conversations with Denise, she is a wonderful listener, affirming when I question myself, and reminds me of why I wanted to take all of this on at the beginning… If you have not had an opportunity to talk with Denise and are feeling at all like you need help deciphering your feelings, I encourage you to talk with her, you will feel so much better. I think it is vital to have someone to talk with that can encourage you along this “journey”; in your decision to care for a loved one, and help you as you meet all the “bumps” along the way. There are boundaries to be set, limitations to admit, and skills I need to learn to help me with situations such as this one.
Hi Bette–Your post was really helpful. It made me realize: The worst part of feeling intimidated is feeling controlled. Ugh, that’s awful. I’m going to write more about this later this week…
I agree bette…I have had the pleasure of speaking to Denise a few times myself…truly a wonderful and remarkable person…and I also get great comfort in listenig to her shows and reading everything she writes along with all of you on here….
I dont get intimidated by my role as the caregiver at all…as my recent blogs have stated I get more out of my comfort zone and anxious when Im around people that work outside the home, two salaries….that type of thing…
I perceive this at times as them thinking this is an easier job than it is or I have the good life now that I no longer work..I have actually had a family member tell me I have way too much time on my hands if I blog or facebook, etc….
but Im working on that…..Denise reminded me not long ago my blogs most definately have a purpose.
I am great with doctors!!!and anyone regarding my mother….as a matter of fact my moms cardiologist always kids me…he tells me I scare him lol lol lol…and my moms family doctor has told me he has five daughters and he prays should the day come that he is old and ill that one of them will defend and care for him the way I do my mother…so I am very confident in this job….
I just have to work on my inside now and then……..
I hate comments like, “Can you leave Wayne alone?” when I go away for a few hours. I don’t know if it intimidates me exactly, but it frustrates me. I CAN safely leave my husband, Wayne, for awhile; since we have things set up wheelchair accessible in our home. So when people ask me this I would love to sacastically answer, “I wouldn’t be doing it, if I didn’t think it was safe. I deal with his caregiving needs all the time, so I know what is safe to do or not” I don’t say this, however. I know it probably is not meant that way, but it feels like it is questioning how I am caring for my husband.