A SOS for SSS Sufferers

Jeana Lee Tahnk wrote in her Huffington Post blog this week about Self-Sufficiency Syndrome, “an inability and unwillingness to ask for help or delegate because of the belief that no one can do it as well as you can.”

It seems Self-Sufficiency Syndrome (SSS) starts off innocently enough. We do, and do it alone, because we net compliments, career advancement and others’ admiration. In other words, doing it all helps us succeed. Doing it all takes a wrong turn, though, when we lose ourselves—we can’t meet our own needs, we judge others for our perception that they can’t help, and we feel stressed and burnt-out.

Tahnk asked for help from Peggy Collins, author of Help is Not a Four-Letter Word, who offered this technique to offset SSS:

“Use the ACT Formula when presented with the opportunity to ask others for help.

“A — What are you Afraid of? Create an awareness around what keeps you from asking for help. Is it fear of rejection? Appearing vulnerable to others? Surrender of power?

“C — Let go of feeling you have to Control everything and that asking feels like giving up that control.

“T — Learn to Trust yourself enough to reach out and take a chance that you can trust someone else.”

In a caregiving role, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of Doing It All. The details and level of knowledge involved in your role can sometimes overwhelm you—how can someone else fill your shoes? Or, perhaps you’ve asked others for help and because you’ve been refused, you just do and do alone. Or, perhaps, you just find it hard to trust that letting go means all will be okay.

Do you find yourself, at times, suffering from Self-Sufficiency Syndrome? And, if you do, do you feel the ACT Formula will help you?

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