About 18 years ago (wow!), I helped friends care for an 81-year-old woman named Evie.
I can remember managing her incontinence like it was yesterday. Incontinence has a way of staying with you. She wore Depends during the day, which she hated. The dressing-for-the-day ritual included her throwing the Depends against the wall and stating, “I hate that thing.”
Getting her to wear the Depends was nothing compared to changing the Depends. I remember one unfortunate episode when she began disrobing because of an incontinence episode that, unfortunately, was still occurring. As she walked across the bathroom and left, well, a trail of incontinence, I followed behind with paper towels and wash cloth.
Evie was a very proud woman. But, the Depends and incontinence humbled her. It humbled me, as well.
Managing the incontinence is not for the faint of heart or for those with the sensitive stomach. It’s kinda smelly, pretty gross and awfully embarrassing.
It’s also not something that you can really speak about. So, you go about your day, doing what needs to be done. Today, let’s talk about it.
So, tell us: How do you deal with your caree’s incontinence?
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I have been very fortunate overall. My mother (my caree) generally has a good attitude about things. And when she gets down, I can see her do things to pull herself out of the negativity. My mother is (usually) very practical and accepting about wearing the Depends. It took a number of accidents for her to get to this point. I know that it’s embarrassing for her, but she tries to be look on the bright side–as in “Thank goodness, we have depends available!”
Incontinence is a very difficult thing to deal with. Typically, the caree realizes that they are not able to control things the way that they had in the past and they become very frustrated. Once they come to accept that they are not in control of their bladder and bowels as they had been previously, then it becomes a little easier to deal with. The key is getting a good incontinence product.
In caring for my mother, my wife and I found out through some friends about a great product from Tranquility. It is their All Through the Night product. Once my mom began wearing this products, the nearly daily washing of the linens ended. Without the leaking, my mother was also able to sleep through the night (as were my wife and I). This made her (and us) more pleasant during the waking hours. The product also helped to eliminate the lingering urine smell that always seemed to be in the air.
Tranquility has a number of products that are available. I highly recommend the All Through the Nights if you have a caree that is having accidents while sleeping. Their other products work very well during the day and have helped us to not have to go through the frequent changes that we previously had. The products are a little more expensive than other products, but by not using as many, I believe that we are saving money in the long run.
You can find where the products can be purchased by going to the Tranquility website (www.tranquilityproducts.com) or calling the company.
Steve,
Thank you so much for this information. I am going to look into the tranquility products right away. I was getting to my wits end with the nighttime leaking and mess. I’ve tried so many different products and was feeling a little hopeless that there was anything I could do. I am in my 30′s and the whole incontinence issue with my 98 year old great-aunt has been a learning experience. Reading your post has helped me greatly. Thank you!
Steve,
Thank you for the information on your post. This is a really difficult topic…I get very weary from all the (sometimes unexpected)loads of laundry. I will heed your advice. It helps to know others have similar challenges. It can be a very hard way to begin your day. Thank you.
It IS a difficult problem. Adult rubber pants in addition to his Depends type product has seemed to solve the problem of occasional night time problems. It is not pleasant to wake up to having to wash sheets, and this seems to have solved the problem.
Burning a scented candle for a few minutes in the morning helps to eliminate unpleasant odors after a night of sleeping.
I also try to keep plastic bags in a drawer in the bathroom. He can put his disposables in them. It cuts down the smell after they are put into the trash.
After a personal experience with fainting in a public place and losing complete control of my bladder, I am more sympathetic to incontinence.
My Grandmothers emotional distress and sadness over the word “diapers” when she was had to wear disposables, left a HUGE dislike for the word in my vocabulary unless it was associated with babies. I am more aware of this when I talk to my husband.
At first, Hubby’s very mild issues had us packing an extra bag of clothing whenever we went someplace. As we progressed to mild to moderate he wore Disposable “traveling underware” with extra in tow. These days we are now full time disposables, accidents happen.
I try to keep Hubby from being distressed by just dealing with “a part of your health issue”. It would be the same if I needed to care for an injury.
OdoBan is a staple in my bath and bedroom.
Vinegar added to the rinse water along with my softener for towels and sheets aids in bacteria killing and odor control. The vinegar smell dissipates pretty quickly.
I found some GREAT waterproof mattress covers at overstock.com and am still looking for light easy wash covers. For some reason Hubby believes the threads on our quilt cut him. His skin is severely dry and sensitive.
Stripping sheets and washing clothes can be tedious especially first thing in the morning so I handle incontinence with a grateful attitude for my washer and dryer.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Things that made me smile =-.
I spoke with HDIS this morning (phone number is online) and asked about the Tranquility (thank you Steve). They are going to send us out several samples, so we can decide what works best. What a wonderful thing! Just wanted to share that, in case someone else’s needs have changed, as our’s have, it’s a nice way to see what might accomodate the new needs. (:
One of the biggest challenges for caregivers can be dealing with elderly incontinence. This is a difficult and emotion filled problem for both the caregiver and the senior. Many elderly are embarrassed to admit they have a problem, feel powerless, and often times are angry at the lack of control. Caregivers also feel frustrated when dealing with the many facets of this issue. However, there are steps that can be taken, that will make dealing with elderly incontinence, easier for both the caregiver and the senior. Here is what you need to know about dealing with adult incontinence-
Understand the causes of incontinence-Many people assume that getting older is the reason behind incontinence. While this is true in part, there are other things that can contribute to incontinence. Some of these factors include: pregnancy and childbirth, painful bladder syndrome (interstitial cystitis), prostatitis, enlarged prostate and/or prostrate cancer, bladder cancer or bladder stones, neurological disorders, or obstruction. This is why it becomes crucial to have a medical evaluation, of your elderly loved one, to determine if there is an underlying cause for the incontinence.
Realize that all incontinence is not the same. Caregivers may be surprised to learn that there are several different types of incontinence. This includes: stress incontinence which is the most common type of incontinence among women. Experts feel that this may be due to weakened pelvic muscles, weakening in the wall between the bladder and vagina, or from a change in the position of the bladder. Urge incontinence is described as the experience of a frequent, sudden urge to urinate with little control of the bladder (especially when sleeping, drinking, or listening to running water). Urge incontinence generally has an underlying medical cause. Overflow incontinence is when a patient cannot completely empty their bladder, causing either a constantly full bladder requiring frequent urination or a constant dribbling of urine, or both. Functional incontinence is the most common type of incontinence among elderly patients with arthritis, Parkinson’s disease or Alzheimer’s disease. Many times these patients are unable to control their bladder, before reaching the bathroom due to limitations in moving, thinking, or communicating. Mixed incontinence is a combination of any of the above described conditions.
Research the treatment options. There is generally a three-pronged approach to treating incontinence. If the elderly patient is able there are certain behavioral techniques that can be learned, to help control incontinence. This can include exercises, biofeedback and other learned behaviors. Obviously this requires the cooperation and compliance of the elderly patient. Many times due to illness, age or other conditions, this is not a viable option for some seniors. There is a pharmaceutical approach. Doctors have a successfully used some drugs, in the treatment of elderly incontinence. The patient’s medical history, along with any other drugs that are currently being taken will have to be evaluated closer to reduce the risk of drug interaction, and potential side effects. As a final resort, there is a surgical approach to treatment. Most doctors only resort to this if everything else has failed, and use surgery to only treat the worst cases of incontinence.
Make some lifestyle changes-While dealing with incontinence is never easy, there are some lifestyle changes that can help. Certain foods may make incontinence worse, so changing the diet of the senior can be helpful. In addition, make sure that there is a clear path to the bathroom and the senior is wearing clothes that easy to get on and off.