The Things We Cannot See

I posted this on our family blog today, and am too exhausted to post anything else. Just wanted to share. – As I type this, you are unable to see my broken heart. You are unable to see the cloud of uncertainty and dread around me. You are unable to see the waves of nausea I’ve been fighting since noon on Tuesday. You are unable to see the peace I feel, despite it all. Yesterday, in Winston-Salem, we...

When… Did You Know You Needed More Help?

You plug along, looking down at the tasks at hand. Then, one day, you look up and notice the clock, or the dirty dishes in the sink, or the pile of dirty clothes in the corner. Or, maybe, one day, you can’t look because the tears are too heavy. Or, perhaps, it was the worst look of all–the look of your caree. That’s when you think: Oh, this is too much for me! I need help! Just like 20 pounds, it...

Book Review: The Daughter Trap

Yesterday, I posted my review of “The Daughter Trap,” written by Laurel Kennedy. As I mention in the review, I struggled with the book. I wondered: Is it just me?  So, I asked Bette, who cares for her mom, to read and review. My questions to her about the book and her answers follow. Caregiving.com: What resonates for you in the book? Bette: I felt as though caregiving and our carees’ needs were...

Ask Denise: How Do I Find a Good Caregiver for My Mom?

Dear Denise, How do I find a support group? I am also in need of a good caregiver for my mom who lives with me. Any direction you can provide would be appreciated. Hello, This article has suggestions and links to resources on finding a caregiver. And, these sites include directories of caregivers for hire: Sitter City Care.com Caregiver List We have online support groups; we’d love for you to join;...

Are We Trapped By Gender?

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, Laurel Kennedy joined us for a discussion of her book, “The Daughter Trap,” our June book club pick. You can listen to our discussion via the player at the bottom of the post. I was looking forward to our discussion today because I wanted Kennedy to shed insights about her book, which I found confusing and off-putting. The book is well researched but yet pontificates....

Movie Monday: What Are You Watching?

It’s Tuesday which means it must be Movie Monday! This week, I watched “The Last Days,” a 1998 documentary that tells the stories of five Hungarian Jews who survived the holocaust. The survivors were barely teenagers when taken from their homes in the spring of 1944. Their memories are incredible–you wonder how in the world they survived. The documentary also follows the survivors as they...

Fireworks

It’s Fireworks Season. We shoot off fireworks as a symbol of our gratefulness for living where we freely build a live for ourselves and our family. How can you set off your fireworks in honor of all that you embrace? You don’t have to wait for dark to light your sparklers. Your fireworks may be a glass of lemonade with someone special at 3 p.m. Or five-minutes of quiet at 8 a.m. Or a thank you call to a...

This Week’s Poll: Is Caregiving Easier in the Summer?

In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we wonder: Is caregiving easier in the summer? Is Caregiving Easier in the Summer?Market...

iPhone Apps for Caregivers

Apple is very effective at increasing the number of applications, or apps, which do everything from provide entertainment to aid in business dealings. The iPhone currently has over 200,000 apps, some of which, albeit too few, are designed to help caregivers. Below we have highlighted some of the more popular choices available today. CareConnector Designed for “caregivers on the go,” CareConnector is operated by...

Lots of Firsts…

After college, there were a lot of firsts for me.  First apartment, first job, first husband (: , first house, first baby.  All of these “firsts” came with hope. Hope that I was moving towards something new and exciting. There are a lot of “firsts”  in caregiving as well. When my mother first came to recover in RI, we worked from RI, with a contractor in Maine, to make her condo...

Where is Hope?

Good evening friends. Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions from both your heart and from your life experiences. Honestly, it is comforting to realize that I am not completely alone on this dark road. You know, one of the most difficult to process for me has been the loss of hope; it must one of those things you don’t realize you have until something diminishes or destroys it. It must have been at...

If… You Had a Million Dollars, How Would You Use It?

Once in awhile on Sundays, we wave the magic wand and talk about seemingly impossible possibilities. So, today, let’s hit the lotto. You have a million dollars; how would you use it? Here’s what I would do: Buy a home in Chicago and a condo in Door County Wisc.; Travel to Europe for two weeks every year; Give money to my siblings and nieces and nephews; Start a respite care fund for family caregivers. I...

A Picture of Patch

Our neighbor has a cat named Patch. The neighbor is a quilter and Patch is short for Nine Patch Quilt. This is the friendliest cat I’ve ever met. When I started talking to Denise this morning, I was sitting on our front porch (sounds nicer than step) and Patch was sitting on my lap. Patch visits every house at this end of the street, making herself at home in every yard and garage. She’s come into...

Corn on the Cob Cupcakes

Good morning! Here is a picture of the cupcakes that Denise mentioned this morning. I was pleased with how cute they turned out, and they tasted good, too!  My neighbor said it was the sweetest corn he ever tasted!

How Will You Take a Moment (or More) for Happiness Today?

On Saturdays, we take a moment for happiness. I was happy this morning that G-J joined me for Table Talk. Toward the end of the show, she shares how she fell in love with her husband. And, hearing that story made me very happy. (You can listen to our show via the player below.) So, what’s your happiness moment? Related Articles Join our Happiness Project (caregiving.com) Family: Our Life’s Transport...

During Difficult Transitions, Allow the Feelings

This afternoon, on Your Caregiving Journey, Sheri Samotin of LifeBridge Solutions shared tips to help you, and your caree, manage a difficult transition. When abilities and capabilities decline, how do you manage the emotional reaction to your caree’s decline? (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.) We discussed the importance of allowing space for you both to feel bad—or...

Suggestions to Help a Caree’s Hospital Confusion

You know this because you’ve probably lived this: Hospitals can be a harsh environment for your caree. A lucid caree can become confused and disoriented hospital patient. A caree with Alzheimer’s can become combative and aggressive during a hospitalization. This week, The New York Times toook an interesting look at the prevalence of hallucinations among hospitalized elderly patients. Pam Belluck, the...

An Unchanging Message

It’s been a week now since my Mom’s primary care physician broke the news to Mom that she’s at the end of her 15 year fight; the last 8 of which have been full-court-press. Being the skeptic that I am, I escalated the issue to her specialist at the transplant institute. I was able to get the specialist and the primary care docs to talk – at the last minute, so a consistent message could be delivered to...

What Small, Healthy Change Works for You?

As we get ready for the start of our Happiness Project (be sure to join us!), we spoke today with Jeannie Keenan of My Health Care Manager about small daily changes we can make in order to enjoy future long-term health. We concentrated on making changes in our food choices. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.) I spoke of how I structure my meals during the day: Three meals with...

The 2Ps (Warning! Unpleasant Reading!)

The following is a post from caregiving.com by Denise Brown on Incontinence.   It is a good intro to what I want to share on the topic. How Do You Deal With Incontinence? About 18 years ago (wow!), I helped friends care for an 81-year-old woman named Evie. I can remember managing her incontinence like it was yesterday. Incontinence has a way of staying with you. She wore Depends during the day, which she...

Tell Us: Do You Try to Play God?

Yesterday’s USA Today featured a Q&A interview with Gail Sheehy about her new book, “Passages in Caregiving,” and her experience caring for her husband. The interviewer asked Sheehy: “You write about caregivers who go solo and try to play God. Why does that backfire?” Sheehy answered, “As long as you are catching mistakes and bird-dogging everything, you feel important....

Meet Our Caregiving Support Group Ambassador

We’re adding volunteers to Caregiving.com to help with our online support groups, as well as with the website, Facebook fan page and Twitter account. Today, I’m pleased to introduce our first volunteer, Karen Gurney. Karen will be our ambassador for our Caregiving Support online support group. As ambassador, she’ll welcome the group’s new members and keep the conversation going. Here’s...