Members of one of our online support groups have recently been discussing their futures and their worry about their futures. They worry: Have they sacrificed so much in their caregiving role that they’ve waited too long for their future?
Their discussion reminded me of a support group member from about 10 years ago. She cared for her mom, who lived with her, her husband and her children. She loved her family but had been feeling listless, restless–something was missing. She discussed her feelings with her husband. Their discussions helped her realize what was missing in her life: Another child. They discussed her realization and how another child could fit in a household full of intense needs.
And, then they decided that had the perfect household for a baby. A few months later, she was pregnant and sending an announcement (and this story) to the support group.
I still remembering reading her email and thinking, Oh, this is the best news. I’m smiling now as I write this.
Caregiving causes sacrifices. It does cause dreams to be shelved and sometimes to end. It absolutely impacts your future. But, it shouldn’t rob you of your future. And, it shouldn’t cause your future to hover but never to land.
So, today, think how you can bring a piece of your future to your present life. And, then, share with us in our comments section. How will you add your future today?
Program Note: Today at 1 p.m. CT, Karol Ward, author of “Worried Sick, Break Free from Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental and Physical Health,” shares the mind/body/spirit connection with worry, as well as how to track our worry triggers. Listen live here.
Resources
When Starting Over Seems Like a Daily Duty, 10 Steps to a New Beginning
There are a few parts of my future that I feel sometimes “hover”, and want to land, but don’t. One of those parts is teaching. I taught Kindergarten and 1st grade years ago, and always thought I would go back to teaching once our children were in school. Because of job changes and my mother’s needs, I have not been able to do this…well, this week I have been helping in Vacation Bible School at our church. I work with the 1st and 2nd graders. It has felt so great to be with a group of little ones again. I have coverage here for my mother and I have the opportunity to teach! (: Today I was thinking how I truly do get to “Live Life To Its’ Fullest” and a very large part of this is due to caregiving. Without caregiving, I would not have the appreciation that I do, for opportunities such as this one. I wouldn’t be able to experience all the aspects of living – good and bad, easy and challenging. I have been able to see a glimpse of teaching again this week. I know there will be opportunities such as this again!
Bette…I was happy to see your name in the box this morning and that you were back and commented..I was starting to get worried but felt happy once I saw you were busy at the bible school and doing something you love, teaching!!!….Sometimes we have to step back from the mirror to see the reflection a little clearer. Im so happy for you…Little by little your finding ways to handle the darkness that we caregivers all feel and look for solutions to somehow find just a little sunshine and when you do you find it is brighter than you ever could have imagined. I wrote a post back in March and I ended with if you dont srress about where your headed you will never get lost!!..Noo worries my friend…your on the right path and the opportunities will continue to come. With all the love you have in you there may be so many you will have to turn some down:)!! You brightened my morning seeing your back!!!…Missed You!!
Thank you Donna for your wisdom and for missing me!! (:
Caregiving for me, at times, I can equate to standing near a hole…The hole can be small, medium sized, or so large that I need help getting out of it. For instance, this morning I had a carpet person coming to look at my mother’s new carpet…it is 6 weeks old and is wearing where her walker sits. He was due to arrive in 45 minutes when I realized my mother’s entire bedding needed to be changed, the kids were waiting for breakfast, and I really needed to get a shower before the man arrived at the door. How was all of this to get tackled?…It’s the overwhelming feeling that can drive me back into one of the “holes”. Months ago, I began talking with Denise on a regular basis, and continue to now. I was in the hole where I needed help getting out. I am so scared that I may fall back in there again, but am determined to work through caregiving, with Denise and and each of your help, to stay above ground. Trying to remember MY interests is helping me to keep bright spots in my day. Having things to look forward to is a wonderful gift that we can give to ourselves.