Good evening friends. Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions from both your heart and from your life experiences. Honestly, it is comforting to realize that I am not completely alone on this dark road.
You know, one of the most difficult to process for me has been the loss of hope; it must one of those things you don’t realize you have until something diminishes or destroys it. It must have been at the foundation of everything we’ve been doing. In addition to the actual loss, will we also have to navigate the loss of hope?
I mean, I have found we grieve things along the path; loss of independence (driving, shopping alone, living alone), ability to feed oneself, mobility, now hope. I’m sure there will also be grieving for unable to get out of bed, unable to eat, no longer talking…and all of that to precede death itself.
Today I started out crying and then was able to choose NOT to have this day be filled with grief. Of course for me that choice came in the form of God’s grace – I am too emotional to be able to turn something off like that on my own. I’m pretty sure sanity would be much more attainable if I didn’t think so much – wouldn’t it!?
Have a blessed evening – I plan to.