Right now the firecrackers are already beginning to go off in preparation for the game between Brazil and Holland.
We’re battling away trying to keep mum out of the hospital. I think we’re beginning to lose the battle. It’s depressing!! Last night, mum groaned all night long. It didn’t seem to be pain, so we think it was the neurological groan she has. It’s very distressing and hard to sleep with her groaning. You try to sleep because it apparently isn’t because of pain, but it’s almost impossible to do.
Mum has had 6 sessions of vascular massage to try and get her ankles to unswell. I can’t see much result, but the physiotherapist says she has to keep on doing it to try and avoid more episodes of erysipelas. She’s also not doing much urine anymore, at least not as much as we’d like, even though she is drinking a lot. This, according to the physiotherapist, is also due to the swelling of her ankles. The lymph circulation is kaput. Mum has been going and coming via taxis because I’ve been working. Now that she has to continue with the sessions, I’ll still have to use taxis because I won’t be able to drive because of the operation.
I’m so very tired of seeing my mum slowly fall apart! Like Emily says, we aren’t even eating right, we gulp our food because mum having difficulty eating, choking, refusing to swallow is a distressful sight! You get so you can’t stand it anymore!
Today is my birthday and I’m having a typical caregiver moment, that is, ‘I’m tired’, ‘what’s the point of all this’, ‘I’m losing my life, it’s slipping by, I’m losing opportunities’ and ‘Is this what awaits me in the future?’ I guess ‘we’re born to trouble as the sparks fly upward’.
My operation on my hand has been set for July 7th. Here’s hoping all will go well!
Dilys,The operation is a breeze. Even recuperation time is not bad.Yes, the hand, especially incisions, hurt for awhile. I’m on day 9 and–mostly–pain free.
You will need to be down the day of the op. Keep your hand elevated for the first 24 hours.
It’s worth it not to have the burning pain of carpal tunnel.
Best wishes to you.
On another note: Happy Birthday! And I hope your day gets better.
Watching your mother decline is harder than anyone can know. However, you can only do the best you can do.
The same is true about taking care of your own needs. It’s very hard to do, often hard to even think about. Again, all you can do is the best you can do.
Hi Dilys–Happy Birthday! It probably seems odd to celebrate when it doesn’t seem like much to celebrate. Watching the declines–and feeling helpless to prevent–is awful. A family caregiver recently said: “I can always give my caree an endless supply of love.” You love your mum and have given her such loving care. And, only you can do this do as well as you do.
I do hope today brings some special moments for you. I also hope you will have a cake, served with a big side of comfort.
Let us know how you celebrate…
Hi Dilys,
I am so sorry that you and your daughter have to be amidst such decline. Caregivers want to “do” something and I am finding here that sometimes I can’t “do” to fix.
We will be thinking about you and praying for you on the 7th. Will you feel content with the coverage you have at home while you are in the hospital? I am sure that will help you too.
Happy Birthday! I hope you have cake as well. Our neighbor is from Brazil, so I think of you often!
Happy Birthday! Wishing you a bit of celebration, maybe Brazil beating Holland, in your weekend!
Good luck with the operation!
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Seeing our loved ones decline is so painful. I hope that you can find a measure of peace in all the chaos. Keep us updated, and I hope you find small moments of joy today on your birthday and every day.