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Making the Best Decision During Tough Circumstances

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This afternoon, on Your Caregiving Journey, we spoke with Linda Rosen, a long-distance family caregiver for her mom. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.

Our discussion focused on Linda’s decision to find an assisted living facility for her mom. You’ll hear in her voice how tough the situation—and decision—was for her. A few thoughts from our conversation:

–A placement decision is not a replacement for family caregiver. Instead, it’s an extension of the care provided by the family. The role of family caregiver is as critical when a caree lives in an assisted living facility as when the caree lived at home.

–If you face family opposition to your caree’s move to an assisted living facility or nursing home, tell the “shoulding” family members: “Thanks so much for your concern about our caree. She’d love to see you! When can I tell her to expect you?” And, that’s it.

As you listen to our interview, what hits home for you? How do you respond to Linda’s story?

Program Note: Our next show is Thursday at 1 p.m. CT. Viki Kind, author of “The Caregiver’s Path to Compassionate Decision Making,” joins us for a discussion on how to keep a caree safe while also respecting their definition of “quality of life.” You can listen live here.

Resources

Ask Denise: How Do I Walk Away Without the Guilt?

Ask Denise: How Do We Find the Right Facility?

Ask Denise: She Says She’s Reached Her Limits

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Comments

  1. Donna Ryan

    July 8, 2010

    If you have not had a moment to listen to this I encourage you to do so….I came on late Tuesday and it was almost over but I wrote Denise saying that I most definately needed to find the time to come back because this is one special lady indeed.

    She was in a place as we all have been shedding tears trying to decide the best options for her mother as they lived in different states. While assisted living may not be the desired choice for all of us it was for her.
    Her story resonated with me because I had the same turmoil making the decision for my Aunt during her last days as I struggled with having hospice come into the home to help send her on her way or my hospitalizing her.
    Her story had a happy ending…and while my Aunt passed and her mom is still alive I do see similarities…
    I wont tell the whole show but she mentioned how despite having to leave her home her mom became miss congeniality…and that was how my aunt was the last weeks also….smiling at visitors …etc. and while I was extremely involved each day I got to rest my head on the pillow each night knowing she was cared for
    Thank you Linda Rosen for a very wonderful show Tuesday….sometimes we just need to hear someone elses story as there are times I think I may have been selfish but can now reflect back on those days with a smile despite the circumstances…..
    there is no wrong….the choice is the one that is right and works best for you.
    I hope you get to come back on again Linda ….I will definately be listening!!

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