Waiting, Wishing, Trusting

Good morning all. I thought I’d provide an update on what’s going on in my Caregiving life. My nephew is still here and my Mom is in hospital. I have to return to work tomorrow after a somewhat restful week off. Work is still shaky as my 36-month role is ending 22 months early. I am NOT going to worry about it though because I know it will be taken care of – I will be taken care of. I just need to follow...

Double Moms

I haven’t posted an update on my caregiving situation for a while. On June 21st, we moved my husband’s mother across the country to be closer to us. She is having significant memory issues. We found her a place in a senior mobile home park, and are hoping that she’ll be able to live there independently. As soon as we finish getting her settled, we’ll get her in for an evaluation of her...

Talking with Katie

This morning, Katie, one of our newest family caregivers to blog, joined me on Table Talk, our Saturday edition of Your Caregiving Journey. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post. My take-away from our discussion today: If you want something that you don’t already have, go for it. We really are our own greatest obstacles. And, let life unfold for you without judgment and...

How… Will You Be Happy Today?

Today, as we do every Saturday, we take time to really focus on enjoying a few moments of happiness. And, in order to encourage each other to do the same, we share in our comments section just how we welcome happiness. So… how will you be happy today?

The More Things Change the More They Stay the Same…

The more things change the more they stay the same… Hospice hasn’t changed anything yet. Granted, Mom is not officially on hospice yet – they are still evaluating how and what services can be provided without an interruption in the care Mom is now receiving. Gratefully, she has been ‘with it’ for the last couple of weeks and I’ve not had the physical stress of taking care of her in addition to the...

A Sweet and Special Treat

We had a nice July 4th celebration this year with family. On Sunday, July 4th we did our regular Sunday activities—going to church etc. On July 5th we first had a picnic lunch together with my son’s family at my mother-in-law’s house. Even though she ate nothing and was in her room in bed all the time, we at least were in and out of her room from time to time. Also then my sister-in-law, her primary...

Embarking on Another Adventure!

I am embarking on another adventure in the land of caregiving. It seems that one of the things, almost the primary thing, that helps me through each day and into the next, is when I have a purpose and project to work on. These past months it has been such a struggle to stay “up”. I get lonely and bored, feeling without purpose and not being able to utilize the skills I have, which is life-giving...

Life Times

“Life Time can be measured in a variety of ways, most of them having nothing to do with time.”–Anonymous I saw this quote in a magazine and knew who I wanted to share it with! (: We have been away from New England for almost 5 years (I apologize, I often moan about this).  My mother lived in Maine for 80 years and I often feel badly that in these precious years of hers,  she is not able to...

Letting Go When We Worry We Should Hang On

This afternoon, on Your Caregiving Journey, we spoke with Viki Kind, clinical bioethicist, medical educator, hospice volunteer and author of “The Caregiver’s Path to Compassionate Decision Making: Making Choices for Those Who Can’t.” We asked Viki to work us through these tough question: When do I step in to help my caree? And, when do I back off? You can listen to our discussion via the player at the...

Tell Us: How Do You Describe Your Caregiving Role?

Yesterday, on Huffington Post, Eliezer Sobel wrote about how we use our time. He then related a story about recently reconnecting with a childhood acquaintance (he tormented her in the playground so you can’t really say they were friends). They exchanged updates; she visited his website which features his two published books. How accomplished you are, she wrote to him. I’m the greatest underachiever of...

Making the Best Decision During Tough Circumstances

This afternoon, on Your Caregiving Journey, we spoke with Linda Rosen, a long-distance family caregiver for her mom. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. Our discussion focused on Linda’s decision to find an assisted living facility for her mom. You’ll hear in her voice how tough the situation—and decision—was for her. A few thoughts from our...

This Week’s Poll: Are You A Sandwich Generation Caregiver?

In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we wonder: Are you sandwiched between aging relatives and children? And, if you are a sandwiched family caregiver, be sure to join our online support group to meet and connect with others in a similar situation. Are You a Sandwich Generation Caregiver?customer...

July 6

This past weekend, especially on Sunday, mum was not well. I decided it was because she had not done number 2 for a number of days. I asked Magda if she’d ever given an enema and she said no and neither had I, but we decided to do it. We did and it helped a bit. At noon, I was eating lunch and mum was groaning loudly, hitting her stomach. I decided to finish eating because if I had to rush to the doctor, I...

How Do You Feel Safe?

A friend recounted the other day why she fell in love. “He made me feel safe,” she said. The relationships we love are the ones in which we feel safe, protected. We feel safe to be ourselves. We feel safe, knowing we have a partner who helps row the boat during difficult times and who wants us to be our best. Sometimes, we also form relationships with situation. And, so it is with caregiving. It’s...

Parade

Do you feel sometimes that you sit on a lawn chair as the parade of life passes you by? You watch as the floats roll by: Retirement, Vacations, Carefree Days, Saturday Night Dates. The worst to watch, though, are the ones that seem to make up an easier life: Guilt-Free, Stress-Free, Worry-Free. Rather than watching a parade that brings pain, choose to participate in a different kind of ceremony, one which reflects...

Movie Monday: What Are You Watching?

This week, I watched “Paris,” a movie about how death moves about us as we live. The movie, set in (surprise!) Paris, features the story of Pierre, who awaits a heart transplant. As he worries about dying, he watches strangers around him go about living. He believes, incorrectly, that they live without worries. It turns out that all the characters live with death. Just as we all do. I would recommend...

Assistente Di Ballet

“To watch the light emerge over the ocean every single day is like watching a ballet.  There is so much movement.”                     –Susan Sugar Although it may not seem like caregiving can be compared to a ballet, I think there are many parts that can. Today my mother couldn’t finish a conversation with my brother on the phone.  It was very sad. Often times she...

Reality Shows

I confess that I like to watch some reality shows. I don’t watch every episode, but I like Survivor, Big Brother and America’s Got Talent. While watching American’s Got Talent with my family, I thought about reality TV. Reality shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows aren’t much like real life. American Idol, Super Nanny and Wife Swap, while not scripted shows, are not terribly realistic...

Another Update

It seems hard to believe that it is only a week and a half ago since I posted a blog. It has been a busy and exhausting week and a half. My husband is now firmly established in an in-home twice a week therapy schedule. Every Monday and Friday they come for an hour. This is paid for by Medicare, but they allow only so many visits. So at some point I am quite certain we will have to discontinue it for awhile. ...

Talking Hope

This morning, on Table Talk, we talked about hope. (You can listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post.) We spoke about hope because Derek and Bette wrote about hope earlier this week. In his post, Derek wrote: “You know, one of the most difficult to process for me has been the loss of hope; it must one of those things you don’t realize you have until something diminishes or destroys it....

How Will You Be Happy Today?

It’s Saturday, the day we might typically save for chores—errand-running, grocery shopping, cleaning. But, for us, Saturdays is about taking time for happiness. On Saturdays, we commit to finding a few moments to be in happiness. So, today, how will you be happy?

Vacation Talk

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined us to discuss her recent volunteer vacation to Ghana. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post. A few nuggets from our discussion: –For our Caregiving Happiness Project, consider replacing using your credit card with using your cash. –Look for ways to connect with others in your community by...