Maybe it’s something you’ve been doing for years for your caree, like transferring him or her from bed to commode or preparing a special pureed meal. But every time you face the bed or the blender, you think: I just wish this would get easier.
Or, perhaps it’s a moment during the day that still catches you, that hits you hard, that makes you think: I wish this would stop hurting so much.
Today, tell us: What do you wish would just get easier?
That feeling of being trapped – I can’t do what I want to do. Can’t go for a early morning walk, due to my caree sleeping, and having a big fit if I try to get him up early! Can’t go on day trips, or vacations. Can’t just sit! Can’t go anywhere for any length of time! I’m trapped!
Even though I have been carving out a path before me towards my future in the midst of all this….the isolation, the inability to just come and go, continue to take their tole on me each day and at times every moment of the day.
I wish the mornings were easier. It seems as though as soon as my feet hit the floor there are many requests. Morning is hard because everyone needs something at the same time. Pills need to be done, beds made, breakfast…etc. Each day I think this is the day that I’m going to get ahead, but…doesnt’ happen. I think I need a very quiet “jet pack” where I can’t be heard, but can get things done before everyone gets up. (:
I also wish my mother treated me the way she does others. She did so well this past week-end with Greg and I’m sure she will with my aunt in August. But today, she is in bed and tells me she is very sick. She can’t explain why though. She does this periodically. Presently, I feel calmer about it, but it is still so hard to cater to someone when you are not sure what is going on, and it only seems to “go on” for me.
Betty…I am answering under yours today because I can so relate with what you are saying this week so much…
Mom has had on occasion since her heart attack three years ago severe indigestion. It is a fine line at times if it is angina or indigestion as they are so similar however I know its not her heart and if it is angina her heart meds are the same as angina meds would be…
sometimes due to stress she will get a flair up which is what is happening the past few days. I was speaking to my sister the othr day about this…I said mommy is fueled by me…if Im happy she is fine…however if Im stressed or upset or not feeling myself mommy starts belching and saying she cant breathe…
the past few days she knows she is going to be fine…but she keeps saying how do you know its not my heart??? Im taking her to the medical doctor on saturday just so she hears from someone that it is not her heart.
I said Mom, we have been sitting outside, your talking to neighbors the past two days….your listening to seans stories on the edge of your chair…as soon as it is just you and I you cant breathe…dont you think if you were having a heart attack you would feel sick talking to the neighbors too…she walks up an entire flight of stair and she isnt even short of breath..
so my question is when will it get better where I feel at home…Im home, I live here…home is the only place you can go and be yourself…if you want to be upset, scream, holler, yell…your home…but I have to always be calm around mom or she has these episodes……..
I wish the transitions to steps downward in my husband’s disease would get easier and be less emotionally painful. Better yet I wish there were no more steps downward.
I wish I also had more freedom from the constant presence and reality of my husband’s disease. It does seem to permeate all of life even when I have a few moments to myself.
So many things! But right now, I wish for fewer doctors’ appointments (along with lab tests, and so forth).
Well I wish for all that was said above me. Watching my husband suffer with lymphoma is heartwrenching. I had no idea there was such suffering in this world. I also care for my Mother, who is difficult at best.