A Busy, Emotional, Week Ahead

Good morning, caregiving friends, I had to identify with what G-J said when she debated about sharing what they did for vacation, because so many of us can’t take a vacation at this point. I’ve been struggling with whether or not to share our experiences as we move Mom to an adult family home on a one-month trial basis. I am struggling with guilt. I am not a quitter, never have been, but part of me...

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Whoosh! Did you hear that? It was so quick I almost missed it myself. That was the sound of our summer speeding past. Honestly, this has been the fastest summer I ever remember. Our summer was full with cross country, volunteering at the library, band practices, and travel. While not technically over, Steve started a two morning a week sheet metal class last Monday. Our son’s first day of school isn’t...

A Little Discouraged

This morning I got things set up so that my husband can use a computer keyboard with much bigger keys. My husband used to love to be on the computer, but because of his many issues his time on the computer is more limited of late. Besides balance issues and a host of other issues my husband, Wayne, also has small motor issues. It seems like many times when he goes on the computer he messes something up on the...

How Will You Have a Happy Saturday?

I had another happy start to my Saturday; Geri, our ambassador for our online support group for spousal caregivers, joined me this morning on Table Talk. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. (As an ambassador, Geri welcomes new members to our group and helps keep the conversation going. We’re always looking for volunteers to help on the site; if you’re interested, send me...

Take Our Facebook Fan Page Staycation Challenge

It’s one more thing to give up because of caregiving: A vacation. Just because you stay home, though, doesn’t mean you can’t still have some of the fun you’ve reserved to enjoy during that week away. From August 22 until August 27, take a staycation, even if it only lasts for five minutes. Think you can’t? We’ve got some ideas to help you know you can: buy a lounge chair and sit in your backyard...

A Very Emotional Week!

I posted this on my blog late Monday night. I’m also posting something I shared today at the end. – I have started discussions with our hospice team to enroll Chad in full-time care at an outside facility. I have been in turmoil about this decision, but knew that our situation would probably come to this. This is, by far, the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make. There are so many things to...

Come to Our First Annual Caregiving Conference!

Image via Wikipedia In honor of National Family Caregivers Month (November), we’re getting together in Chicago! We’ll meet for two days of learning, sharing and comforting on Saturday, November 6, and Sunday, November 7, at Sunrise Assisted Living, 2710 N. Clark St., Chicago. Sunrise is donating its meeting space and will provide a continental breakfast and lunch on both days. The facility has a...

Crab Island

When we visit Cape Cod, we love to go kayaking. This year we kayaked to an island known as “Crab Island”. There were hundreds of crabs running all over the island. It was amazing to see all the different sizes. As I stood and watched them, I noticed with any bit of movement they felt, or noise, from us, they would quickly burrow themselves into the sand. I was reminded of how indicative that is of any...

How Do You Feel About Caregiving Research?

Last week, I wrote an essay, When Researching for Tomorrow, Pay for Today’s Help, in which I proposed that 30% of any dollars used to fund disease research be spent on services to help family caregivers today. In response to my essay, I received this message through Twitter: “Excellent article abt funding research to find a future cure, but nothing abt funding research to help today’s carees and...

Do We Need Emotional Pain?

Well, I’m not sure we definitely answered that question on Your Caregiving Journey this morning. But, I think we have a much better understanding of emotional pain and how to manage its presence in our lives. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. We began our discussion with Anna Stookey, who joins us monthly to keep us in a good emotional space, with a description of grief....

A Smile On My Face

Today I have a smile on my face. The weather is beautiful and free of all the heat and humidity we have been experiencing. Secondly, my husband is having a good day, and he just had a good therapy session. Finally, I just finished reading some letters my husband, Wayne, and I wrote to each other in 1970 and 1971 before we were married. When I was on Denise’s Table Talk Show on Saturday Denise asked me how...

Take a Short Survey for a $10 Barnes & Noble Gift Card

Evantage Consulting is conducting an independent research with family caregivers to understand how you manage your caree’s health records and to evaluate if the existing online tools meet your needs effectively. The company has a created a 15-question survey to capture your experiences. The questionnaire asks how you organize and manage your caree’s medical appointments and health records. In...

Garden

Our vegetable and flower gardens need our regular touch for watering, pruning and weeding. That combination of nurturing and eliminating keeps the garden healthy. Our emotional gardens also need our on-going handiwork. On a regular basis, we can reflect on how well the individuals and relationships in our life work. Do they still support us? Do they honor us? Do they ensure we bloom? Do they accept our thorns? If...

Replacement Therapy

Ok, I need everyone’s help here.  I am writing a piece called Replacement Therapy.  I am looking for ideas of what to do to replace all the things I have done for mom these past years, fill those time slots with instructive, creative, supportive alternatives. Remember, there are emotional connections worked in there, habits of doing specific things at specific times. Restrictions of freedom that have to be...

Paraphrasing Dylan Thomas – ‘It is my 94th year to heaven’

I have just arrived back from the trip I took and all went well. Mum only noticed I was gone today!! This is different from, say around December, when she’d notice I was not here and get upset. There was a time when it was hard to go out for supper because she’d cry and say I’d been killed, but now she doesn’t notice much. She’s quite confused but otherwise well considering. This...

“Normal” to Pave the Way

We really had a wonderful afternoon and evening on Friday.  My mother was having a good day and so the kids and I took her to the mall with the wheelchair.  The kids helped with the doors without being prodded and seemed to enjoy that we were all together.  My mother even corrected me at the ice-cream shop and told the lady at the counter she definitely wanted rainbow sprinkles! (: (I had tried to keep it...

Happy Saturday!

I’m starting my day on a very happy note. I just spent a lovely 30 minutes with Sharon on Your Caregiving Journey‘s Table Talk. And, Donna W and G-J joined me in the chat room during the show to lend their support to Sharon. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. So, what will do you today for yourself so you can enjoy happiness? I look forward to hearing from you in our...

An Update

Wow! What an outpouring of support I have been receiving from all of you regarding my last two postings. I really appreciate everyone’s input and suggestions about getting Steve to do the cognitive therapy. It’s been very helpful and has given me some wonderful ideas. It’s also helped me looked at things like today’s trip to Ikea as therapy for Steve. He had to interact with people, deal with a busy...

Transform Caregiver Stress with HeartMath’s EmWave

It’s no secret that caregiving can take a huge toll on the caregiver, both emotionally and physically. Added to which, caregivers often face financial difficulties which compound an already stressful situation. Over time, these effects can have devastating consequences as the following statistics on family caregivers show: Caregivers report having a chronic condition at more than twice the rate of...

When Researching for Tomorrow, Pay for Today’s Help

The New York Times reported yesterday that researchers have made a huge headway in the search for treatments and a cure for Alzheimer’s disease (“Sharing of Data Leads to Progress on Alzheimer’s”).  The progress can be traced to a collaboration between researchers from pharmaceutical companies and academia called Alzheimer’s Disease Neuroimaging Initiative (ADNI). “The key to the...

Unique Situation

When it comes to health, “unique situation” are two words you don’t want to hear together. Today I e-mailed two different Alzheimer’s organizations with which I now have connections, suggesting it would be great if they could put together a meeting or support group of caregivers for memory impaired people who are also parents of children who have not yet graduated from high school. I heard...

I’d Really Love Input on Getting Your Caree to Do Things

Something has been on my mind and I don’t know how to best handle it. How do you get your caree to do things that are in their best interests that they don’t want to do? Steve’s neurologist referred Steve for cognitive therapy. This was the therapy that didn’t work out for various reasons, so we hired our son to become the therapist. This worked, but now our son’s schedule is...