Losing Focus

If a family loses focus, is it possible to regain that focus? Recently, it has been apparent to me that my family is losing focus of what is  important.  Sometimes the tendency is to stay away from something that makes us feel uncomfortable, even at the expense of others. My mother has definitely been facing new challenges over the past 6 months.  Familiarity is her new best friend, but in trying to keep...

Waiting…

I have been posting updates all over, and want to let all of you know who don’t know already.  Mom stopped eating on Friday.  So, we are on a watch.  She is resting comfortably and is peaceful.  It is time.  Goodbyes are being said and soon she will be with Dad and my sisters again. I will still be blogging and still continuing with the blogtalkradio show.  I must keep going with all that has been...

Trying an Adult Family Home

I wanted to give a quick update on our week. After checking with the state licensing board (no complaints), local field representative for the state ombudsman program (again, only positive things to say) and talking to three people that have parents in the adult family home (really positive things to say), we are going to give it a try for one month. It is a huge leap of faith, but too many things have come...

Tomorrow

We hope that our tomorrows will be bright and giving and fulfilling. Sometimes, those tomorrows, the tomorrows we hope for, can seem years away. And, that can make it hard to look forward to the true tomorrow, the day after today. In caregiving, the chance that tomorrow will bring heartache, or finality, or yet another challenge is part of every day. And, in that knowledge, lies the blessing. You live for today....

Hospice is a Blessing

My mother woke up, to some degree, from her Ativan-induced sleep. I think it will be several more days before she’ll be back to where she was. Sadly that seems to be less each time we have one of these setbacks. Hospice has indicated this will be consistent until the very end – have setback, lose ground, setback, lost ground, etc, days to weeks is what she has been given – I’m still in the...

Considering an Adult Family Home

Good evening, caregiving friends… Mom has had a really difficult couple of weeks. Her legs are not working well at all. Some days, they won’t support her weight and she’s been in the wheelchair all day. On these days, her confusion gets much worse as well…which just complicates everything. I feel almost guilty for mentioning how difficult it is getting, because I know that some of you are...

What Does Your Garden Grow?

This morning’s episode of Your Caregiving Journey reminded me of Donna Baldwin, one of our 1999 Caregiver of the Year award winners. In her story, Donna spoke about her new-found green thumb, grown after she began caring for her mom. I wrote: Donna Baldwin readily admits to this: Fourteen years ago, she couldn’t keep a plant in her home alive. So, she filled her home with plastic plants. Now, only one...

How Will You Be Happy Today?

Oh, it can be hard to feel happiness, especially when we worry about our carees and others, including fellow family caregivers, who struggle. Happiness, though, is the reprieve we give ourselves from the worry and sadness, which can occupy so much of our day. So, today, how will you make room for happiness? Related Articles First Happy for Others Join our Happiness...

Crisis Management – Argh

And so…many changes since I last posted. I am doing less caregiving, per se, as Mom has gone on continuous care with hospice for the 2nd time – pain crisis. That has evolved into a terminal restlessness diagnosis – which as I found researching with my dad, is about 2-4 weeks out from death, or per hospice, “if that.” Mom was up all night last night – trying to get out of bed...

The Five Qualities of a Stellar Family Caregiver

On the radio this morning, I heard two DJs discuss the “five qualities of a stellar mom.” They are, as described in this article at PsychBlog: 1. A Strong Intuition 2. A Knack for Nurturing 3. The Ability to Keep Your Cool 4. A Willingness to Ask for Help 5. A Playful Attitude Of course, hearing about a list like this makes me wonder: What are the qualities of a stellar family caregiver? My list...

Friday Fun: Give Us the Guffaws

It’s Friday, so let’s share some funnies. What’s a humorous experience that’s happened to you in your caregiving role? It could be something that happened years ago or just yesterday, as long as today it makes you giggle. We’ll giggle with you. Please share in our comments section. And, we’ll give away a We Break for Summer! mug from our We Break for Me store plus an autographed copy of...

We Have Chat

We’ve added one of the ideas you asked for on Tuesday, when we celebrated our 14th birthday. We’ve added a 24-hour chat, which you’ll see on the right-hand side of the website. In order to chat with other website visitors, you must log in. You can log in as a guest, with your Facebook account credentials or, if you’re a blogger on Caregiving.com, with your WordPress log-in user name and...

Any Input?

Okay, I would like some input from my fellow caregivers. First, however, I need to explain a little more what is going on. As you all know my husband has a serious neurological disease. Recently I have started to need to help him every time he goes to the bathroom, and I also help him with most other transfers. His disease affects balance, motor planning, speech, small motor, and on and on. Recently I hired a...

Our Dreams Show Us Our Truths

Today, our Your Caregiving Journey, Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, dream expert, explained why we dream, how our dreams can become nightmares, and what we can learn from both our dreams and our nightmares. It was a fascinating 30 minutes. You can listen to our discussion via the player at the bottom of the post. During our discussion, Lauri interpreted the dream Miss R wrote about last April. You’ll find the meaning...

Thanks for Your Ideas!

Thanks so much for sharing all your great ideas yesterday as we celebrated Caregiving.com’s 14th birthday. I’ll have updates for you over the next few days about implementing your ideas. We’re giving away an iPod Shuffle to one of you who shared an idea. I put your names in a hat—well, bowl—and pulled. So… the winner is Francine! Congrats! I’ll send you an email so I can...

When Dying to Live Makes Dying Horrible

The New Yorker has an incredible article on its website today: Letting Go by Atul Gawande. Gawande tackles the question: What should medicine do when it can’t save your life? The answer lies in a heartbreaking story Gawande tells of a young woman diagnosed with advanced lung cancer while 39 weeks pregnant. Her story illustrates the difficulty physicians have in communicating honestly about chances of survival and...

Today, We Turn 14!

Today, Caregiving.com turns 14. (You can read the story of the site here.) So, today, we celebrate by giving you a chance to win an iPod Shuffle. Simply share an idea in our Comments section in response to this question: How can we improve Caregiving.com to better meet your caregiving needs? One of our commentors will win the iPod Shuffle (in the color of your choice!). I look forward to hearing your...

This Week’s Poll: Do You Use Technology?

In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we wonder: Do you use technology? Do you use technology in your caregiving role?customer...

Do We Need to Feel Those Hard Feelings?

NPR aired an interesting story (“Is Emotional Pain Necessary?“) this morning about whether depression can be part of grief and therefore treated. Apparently, physicians are discouraged from diagnosing individuals grieving the death of a loved one with major depression; it’s called a “bereavement exclusion.” “The idea was that feelings of intense pain were normal, so they...

Movie Monday: The Savages

I’ve been meaning to watch “The Savages” with Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman since its 2007 release. It’s a story of siblings who step in to care for their father after their father’s girlfriend dies. The father raised the siblings after their mother never returned from a date. We get glimpses into the childhood these two endured with the parent who stayed; it’s...

Outside

In the warm weather, it’s wonderful to feel like outside is a wonderful alternative. Often, it offers a welcome reprieve. You can go outside to take a walk, to sit in the backyard, to enjoy nature’s blooms. In a caregiving role, though, you can feel like you’re often on the outside. You may feel on the outside of life—of activities, events, discussions, experiences. Caregiving can pull you...

Loneliness Even In Happy Times

Loneliness even in midst of happy times can really be an ever present reality for a caregiver. Friday was my husband’s and my anniversary. In past years I always enjoyed our anniversary. It was a celebration of our love. We would almost always go out to eat, and my husband would always give me a loving card that he picked out. This past Friday which was our anniversary was a nice day in many ways. I got to...